My situation

[TrialOfTears]

Hello, I'd like to explain the situation I'm in, and hopefully get a response from some people.

I was raise Catholic, and was somewhat religous as a little kid, but then I got really sicked, and almost died. Long story short I went into a deep coma for a couple weeks, and when I woke up I was very angry. I could no longer stand nor had any interest in hearing any stories from the bible, and still have trouble looking at a crucifix. I went through most of my life hating God, and having no interest in any kind of relationship with Him. Then eventually I got sick of being so angry and depressed, so I started looking around at non-Christian religons, tried a couple, and while they're all fine and good I still look to Christianity for some kind of salvation or whatever. The only problem is, I have some deep seeded hate for most Christians. Every time I turn on a TV or listen to a radio show that has a Christian preacher on, he's in a suit, he's some middle aged rich guy who probably has no faith in God whatsoever, so I get disgusted and turn it off. So here I am, still angry and depressed, and lately suicidal. I guess long story short I want to have a relationship with Christ, but I can not stand the modern Christian, and I don't know if I can ever have a relationship with Christ, because I feel this way about the horrible disinigration of the modern day Christian.

With that I'll leave this thread for people to say what they will. This is not the kind of place I feel comfortable with being at, but I do want to hear the general opinion.

Thanks for your time

 

[Lucubratus]

Hello, I'd like to explain the situation I'm in, and hopefully get a response from some people.

Oh ouch!

Hello!


The only problem is, I have some deep seeded hate for most Christians. Every time I turn on a TV or listen to a radio show that has a Christian preacher on, he's in a suit, he's some middle aged rich guy who probably has no faith in God whatsoever, so I get disgusted and turn it off

Ewww...well, I could really rant on that too but then I remember all the "nice Christians".
This modern day Christian thing - most Christian's I have encountered have been all right - but they have a battle trying to make up for all the die-hard, archtypical bible-thumping-holier than thou you're all going to hell kind of stuff going on. Lot's of folks put Christians on some kind of pedestal and get angry when they don't meet up to some bizarre expectation that the not so nice Christians put themselves on the pedestal first.

So here I am, still angry and depressed, and lately suicidal. I guess long story short I want to have a relationship with Christ, but I can not stand the modern Christian, and I don't know if I can ever have a relationship with Christ, because I feel this way about the horrible disinigration of the modern day Christian.

People like to put people into labels at best, categories at worst. You're going to find great people here, and probably a few of the "modern day" ones as well. If you want to have a personal relationship with Christ - the best place to start is right where you are, on your knees if you want - and talk to HIM, not the modern day Christian. Following my thread there is undoubtedly (I hope so!) people's advice on how to accept Jesus and his word - and given the state you are in, do what is most comfortable for you. Speak in your own words, sometimes I get sort of stymied when people are so eloquent in their praying - don't try to emulate that, just talk to him!
Don't let the downside interfere with your relationship with Christ! He's not the modern day Christian - he's timeless.

I was raise Catholic, and was somewhat religous as a little kid, but then I got really sicked, and almost died. Long story short I went into a deep coma for a couple weeks, and when I woke up I was very angry. I could no longer stand nor had any interest in hearing any stories from the bible, and still have trouble looking at a crucifix. I went through most of my life hating God, and having no interest in any kind of relationship with Him.

I haven't developed a hate towards God, even before I knew him even with the trying times I've faced so I can't quite profess to understanding why you woke up angry at him and I won't even pretend to understand I can only sympathize there - people react differently towards crisises - but I hope you can absolve your enmities - it sounds like its not just God alone but the natural reaction we all face when stricken down by illness. We get mad, we get depressed because we can't do things for ourselves, we fell useless. It's very unpleasant and the anger is Not just at God, but ourselves - have you had any means or thought to resolve any inner self issues in that regard? Even with just a friend? It's hard to carry a dialog with God if we're carrying such strong emotions whirling around. I pray you can have some peace and feel the holy spirit!

 

[sincerebliss]

Hey, I actually know what you mean. I was like that for three years! I still get kind of edgy on Christians. It's important not to look at all the hypocrites. They are not important. Just try to establish a relationship with God. Firstly, trying talking or praying to him daily. Be sincere and you'll see the outcome.

sincerebliss

 

[crossrunner]

Sincere Christians look to Jesus as their role model...not other people. People are imperfect and make many mistakes (even the sincere Christians). People will let you down, Jesus will never let you down. He is perfect in every way. If you set your eyes on Jesus and follow His example,He will heal you of your hate and anger and He will fill you with His love.

God bless you.
In Christian love,
crossrunner.

 

[Monica02]

Hello, I'd like to explain the situation I'm in, and hopefully get a response from some people.

I was raise Catholic, and was somewhat religous as a little kid, but then I got really sicked, and almost died. Long story short I went into a deep coma for a couple weeks, and when I woke up I was very angry. I could no longer stand nor had any interest in hearing any stories from the bible, and still have trouble looking at a crucifix. I went through most of my life hating God, and having no interest in any kind of relationship with Him. Then eventually I got sick of being so angry and depressed, so I started looking around at non-Christian religons, tried a couple, and while they're all fine and good I still look to Christianity for some kind of salvation or whatever. The only problem is, I have some deep seeded hate for most Christians. Every time I turn on a TV or listen to a radio show that has a Christian preacher on, he's in a suit, he's some middle aged rich guy who probably has no faith in God whatsoever, so I get disgusted and turn it off. So here I am, still angry and depressed, and lately suicidal. I guess long story short I want to have a relationship with Christ, but I can not stand the modern Christian, and I don't know if I can ever have a relationship with Christ, because I feel this way about the horrible disinigration of the modern day Christian.

With that I'll leave this thread for people to say what they will. This is not the kind of place I feel comfortable with being at, but I do want to hear the general opinion.

Thanks for your time

It seems that you have mental problems if you are suicidal. I hardly think that a television preacher would have that big of an impact on you. The truth is you have no way of knowing the heart of the guys on TV.

All Christians are people and are flawed. You will have a very difficult time in your jouney if you are looking for perfect people. The Church, Jesus Christ and the Blessed Virgin Mary are sinless, the rest of the people who make up the Body of Christ are not. Our faith is never what it should be. You must look to the lives of the Saints for inspiration and attend Mass. Study the Bible and seek out the people who will help you on your jouney back to the Church of your birth. There are plenty of good priests (not perfect, remember) and lay people out there who can help you.
Pray that God will show you what He wants from you and pray that His will be done and quit concerning yourself with other people.

 

[Paul_Wright_luvr]

It seems that you have mental problems if you are suicidal. I hardly think that a television preacher would have that big of an impact on you. The truth is you have no way of knowing the heart of the guys on TV.

yea...way to show Christian love...
not all ppl that are sucidal are mental. also the ppl on TV, like Benny Hin, they really bug me. one time i saw Benny on TV and he was trying to get ppl to donate money to a TV station and he said that if you didn't then you were disobeying God and you would be in sin...yea...
but on the topic, dont let ppl get in your way of God. He loves you and you say that you want to become a Christian. then dont let what you think of TV Christians bugg you. some Christians act like they are all holy and stuff but not all of us are like that

 

[NothingButTheBlood]

I find it interesting that because you hated or were angry at God you became angry at all Christian's. I was saved while watching a tv evangelist and though some may be tricky, some are genuinely concerned about souls. With modern times, comes modern measures. My husband wants to do an internet ministry for kids, I don't think that makes him any less trustworthy than someone in a church. You keep looking to Christ for salvation because he's the only one to offer it. That's why I became a Christian I believe that sacrifice is necessary. I know that as Christians we are supposed to live by a different standard than others, set ourselves apart. I also know as a Christian that I am a sinner and God doesn't take my free will. I am constantly trying to improve myself as a child of God. I know what's right and sometimes still fall short of glory. I say this to say that everyone has this short comming. Most Christians try to overcome those and be good servants of God. If you judge the millions of Christians out there on a few tv evanglists you are really missing out. I don't know what about your sickness made you hate God but I hope you consider forgiving Him. He forgives us so much. We all have hardships. I was devistated when I miscarried but I know God has a plan for me and my family. I know for whatever reason that had to happen it will somehow be of benefit later to me or someone else. If you keep that grudge and not trust what He's doing you will be angry and bitter and worn out for a very long time. I will pray for you.

 

[Johnnz]

Jesus and His followers are not own and the same. Christians don't always portay Christ as we should.

Try Philip Yancey's book - The Jesus I Never Knew. He might encourage you. Not all Christians have a mass market faith.

John
NZ

 

[soap]

Hello, I'd like to explain the situation I'm in, and hopefully get a response from some people.

I was raise Catholic, and was somewhat religous as a little kid, but then I got really sicked, and almost died. Long story short I went into a deep coma for a couple weeks, and when I woke up I was very angry. I could no longer stand nor had any interest in hearing any stories from the bible, and still have trouble looking at a crucifix. I went through most of my life hating God, and having no interest in any kind of relationship with Him. Then eventually I got sick of being so angry and depressed, so I started looking around at non-Christian religons, tried a couple, and while they're all fine and good I still look to Christianity for some kind of salvation or whatever. The only problem is, I have some deep seeded hate for most Christians. Every time I turn on a TV or listen to a radio show that has a Christian preacher on, he's in a suit, he's some middle aged rich guy who probably has no faith in God whatsoever, so I get disgusted and turn it off. So here I am, still angry and depressed, and lately suicidal. I guess long story short I want to have a relationship with Christ, but I can not stand the modern Christian, and I don't know if I can ever have a relationship with Christ, because I feel this way about the horrible disinigration of the modern day Christian.

With that I'll leave this thread for people to say what they will. This is not the kind of place I feel comfortable with being at, but I do want to hear the general opinion.

Thanks for your time

My question is this: What happened from the time of before the coma until the time you came out. Something may have happened there. Please know, this is only a theory of mine, and not to be taken for fact. I wonder if something happened while you were in the coma? I have taken a few psych. classes, but by NO MEANS, am an expert. Would it have been possible that you were abused by a respected Christian authority while you were in the coma? Could it have been a negative conversation that you subconsiously overheard? I only say this because the mind can block things that are traumatic. People who have experienced abuse will many times "forget" the traumatic experiences, only to remember them later in their lives. If this is the case for you, that could be why there is the unexplained hate for Christians.

Or, could it simply be that you were mad at God for allowing this to happen to you?

Have you thought of going to a Christian counselor for help? If you consider it, the Meier Clinics are good. (1-800-NEW-LIFE is a call in help line...you may think of doing a search on the Minrith Meier Clinics. They also have a call in radio station if you don't mind asking and being aired). Don't be embarassed to go to counseling. There are times in everyone's lives that good Christian counseling can really help!

 

[£amb]

Hello, I'd like to explain the situation I'm in, and hopefully get a response from some people.

I was raise Catholic, and was somewhat religous as a little kid, but then I got really sicked, and almost died. Long story short I went into a deep coma for a couple weeks, and when I woke up I was very angry. I could no longer stand nor had any interest in hearing any stories from the bible, and still have trouble looking at a crucifix. I went through most of my life hating God, and having no interest in any kind of relationship with Him. Then eventually I got sick of being so angry and depressed, so I started looking around at non-Christian religons, tried a couple, and while they're all fine and good I still look to Christianity for some kind of salvation or whatever. The only problem is, I have some deep seeded hate for most Christians. Every time I turn on a TV or listen to a radio show that has a Christian preacher on, he's in a suit, he's some middle aged rich guy who probably has no faith in God whatsoever, so I get disgusted and turn it off. So here I am, still angry and depressed, and lately suicidal. I guess long story short I want to have a relationship with Christ, but I can not stand the modern Christian, and I don't know if I can ever have a relationship with Christ, because I feel this way about the horrible disinigration of the modern day Christian.

With that I'll leave this thread for people to say what they will. This is not the kind of place I feel comfortable with being at, but I do want to hear the general opinion.

Thanks for your time

You can have a relationship with Christ. Some people treat christianity as if it was some kind of fad. Believe me, it's not. It's a deep commitment to God and giving your selfish, prideful self to Him and let him work through you. Don't look at other people and come to assumptions to what a christian is like. People are sinful and make mistakes...yes, even us believers. Your example should be Christ.

1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he care for you.

 

[HeIsMyKing!]

Seek Jesus and he will give you the grace to forgive and let go of your anger. That's okay you hate Christians. People hated Jesus to you know? Jesus loves you and wants to have you as his own. Trust in God and he will lead you.

HeIsMyKing!

 

[AvgJoe]

You must realize that you are responsible for yourself and God won't ask others about you on judgment day. He will come to you and ask you to give an account for your life, only. The most important thing to think about right now is your relationship with God, not anyone else's.

 

[Stefania777]

Hello, I'd like to explain the situation I'm in, and hopefully get a response from some people.

I was raise Catholic, and was somewhat religous as a little kid, but then I got really sicked, and almost died. Long story short I went into a deep coma for a couple weeks, and when I woke up I was very angry. I could no longer stand nor had any interest in hearing any stories from the bible, and still have trouble looking at a crucifix. I went through most of my life hating God, and having no interest in any kind of relationship with Him. Then eventually I got sick of being so angry and depressed, so I started looking around at non-Christian religons, tried a couple, and while they're all fine and good I still look to Christianity for some kind of salvation or whatever. The only problem is, I have some deep seeded hate for most Christians. Every time I turn on a TV or listen to a radio show that has a Christian preacher on, he's in a suit, he's some middle aged rich guy who probably has no faith in God whatsoever, so I get disgusted and turn it off. So here I am, still angry and depressed, and lately suicidal. I guess long story short I want to have a relationship with Christ, but I can not stand the modern Christian, and I don't know if I can ever have a relationship with Christ, because I feel this way about the horrible disinigration of the modern day Christian.

With that I'll leave this thread for people to say what they will. This is not the kind of place I feel comfortable with being at, but I do want to hear the general opinion.

Thanks for your time

Thanks for sharing your situation. Doesn't sound too fun to be living with so much hatred in your life, but the good thing is that Christ will love you no matter what. I'm pretty sure most Christians have been through the stage you're going through, most of us have had a time when we used to hate God, or christians.
I guess my advise to you is just do what you want to do. If you're not happy with the hatred in your life, then give God another chance. Just go to him and ask him to make you happy. Ask him to help you let go of anything that makes you angry and sad. Believe and he will do it. Of course that's not say you'll never feel pain ever again, but it means that even when you go through difficult times, God will be there right next to you, providing you the strength to go on. There really is no point in living a life that you don't like, when you can change it just by asking.
Anyways, I hope that helps. Have a good day.
Peace,
-Stefania
Oh, BTW...Love your username, I'm a Dream Theater fan also.

 

[dvd_holc]

Isn't it time to let go of the angry in your life? It should not control you. It is not who are you are, nor who you were suspost to be. We were to meant for kindness, love, goodness, etc. Angry and hatred will only leave you in physical and mental pain. Forgiveness is the only way you can truely live. If you dwell in the bitterness and blaming you will be only dwelling on the past events and spreading it to others. Don't let rebellion of the life you are living push you off the cliff. It is never to late to ask for help. You have came here. There is something in you that brought you here. Don't you want it? Don't you want peace of the soul? Peace of the soul comes from harmony of the one who made it. I encourage you to find him.

With love, David.

 

[Pele]

It seems that you have mental problems if you are suicidal.

Ouch Monica... What's up with the psychology? Where's your sensitivity?

T.O.Tears - I will lift you up in my prayers suga because those imaginations, and troubles your going through honey is works of the enemy, and you know what? we're our WORST ENEMIES sometimes. Baby, let me just keep it real with you because I don't know what ALL you've gone through but honey God wants the absolute best for you. When the world treats you like doodoo just remember that you have a righteous God and He will help you out any day/time. Just surrender my friend. Throw your hands up and just talk to our Father. And if you don't know where to start, and what to pray about, honey just let Him know, He's waiting on you. You don't have to sit there and make up some softy "Oh God this and that" be true, because sometimes you want to SCREAM "OOOOHHHHH GOD I'M A MESS AND I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW..."

Do it. Simply do it.

"Cast thy burden upon the Lord and He will sustain thee"... he will for sure.

Learn to tell your flesh to "SHUT UP" in the name of Jesus. If you don't know what else to say, pray, do, just say the name of our savior Jesus.

You know, you reminded me of the "old" me... when I was around ur age @ 19, whew I thought I was all that and a bag of chips honey and let me tell you I was no where near being a chip... shoot I wasn't even a potatoe, OK! lol. I was shoplifting, cheating time @ work, mean to my son and boyfriend, put it like this I was going towards the road of self-destruction, then years later I couldn't take it no more. I was tired of being tired. I was always trying to patch up my own problems, turned to shrinks, eat my problems away, or drink/smoke my problems away. Then one day, I just fell to my feet, and cried 'til my eyes almost fell off of my head, and surrendered. Man, let me tell you, I went through hell for the next year or so, and then I finally learned to repent, married my boyfriend, dedicated my son, now I'm in discipleship, go to church every Sunday, try to study His Word as often as I can and God has been so good to me better than I could have EVER been to myself. He took me in even when I damned Him. He took me in even when I was a hott mess acting a fool. He accepted me and loved me anyway. I learned finally to truly have faith in Him afterwards.

See T.O.T. in order to succeed baby you gotta participate... take the initiative suga. Practice having a clear conscious and cast down those imaginations... and tell that negative/judgmental attitude to shut up b/c it is NOT of God. Honey, WE'RE ALL HYPOCRITES and we all fall short of the glory of God honey. If it wasn't for the hypocrites, we wouldn't learn to bless 'em instead of cursing 'em. It's all a test anyway, you either pass with Jesus, or choose to fail doing it on your own.


Look you can email me anytime, and you have a friend okay. It don't matter where you came from, what denomination, etc. etc. Honey, we have the same Father. Alright? Email and Holla @ your sister anytime.

Give it your very best and let God take care of the rest okay?

Love ,
Pele

pelenatita@yahoo.com

SMILE - JESUS LOVES YOU. (*edit - took out girl b/c you're a male ) my bad.

 

[Stefania777]

WE'RE ALL HYPOCRITES

Yes indeed.

 

[Pele]

Hello, I'd like to explain the situation I'm in, and hopefully get a response from some people.

I was raise Catholic, and was somewhat religous as a little kid, but then I got really sicked, and almost died. Long story short I went into a deep coma for a couple weeks, and when I woke up I was very angry. I could no longer stand nor had any interest in hearing any stories from the bible, and still have trouble looking at a crucifix. I went through most of my life hating God, and having no interest in any kind of relationship with Him. Then eventually I got sick of being so angry and depressed, so I started looking around at non-Christian religons, tried a couple, and while they're all fine and good I still look to Christianity for some kind of salvation or whatever. The only problem is, I have some deep seeded hate for most Christians. Every time I turn on a TV or listen to a radio show that has a Christian preacher on, he's in a suit, he's some middle aged rich guy who probably has no faith in God whatsoever, so I get disgusted and turn it off. So here I am, still angry and depressed, and lately suicidal. I guess long story short I want to have a relationship with Christ, but I can not stand the modern Christian, and I don't know if I can ever have a relationship with Christ, because I feel this way about the horrible disinigration of the modern day Christian.

With that I'll leave this thread for people to say what they will. This is not the kind of place I feel comfortable with being at, but I do want to hear the general opinion.

Thanks for your time

I got this for you... take a listen to it okay.

http://buildingfaithradio.org/buildingfaith_Feb13.MP3

Take a listen and God bless you my friend.

Listen especially to the scripture references that show you who your real enemies are ok. -the flesh -the world, etc. I pray peace in your spirit, mind, and life in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen!

Love,
Pele

 

[AggieMonica]

I am so sorry to hear of your situation, and especially sorry to hear that you have such a horrible view of the modern day Christian. Perhaps the problem is that you have not been exposed to true, born-again Christians. There are many in our society today who call themselves Christians, but are not really Christians. What you should do is find a good Bible-believing church and start going there. If you have a Bible, read it daily and God will reveal so much to you. If you don't have a Bible, then you should invest in one.

Keep in mind that our lives here are so short. Your life or my life could end in the next hour - or next few minutes. You want to secure your eternal salvation before it's too late, because once you day and pass from this life to the next, you don't have a choice anymore. In the Bible Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." So you see, you must accept Jesus in order to get to the Father (God).

I wish you luck in your spiritual journey. Again, you need to surround yourself with TRUE followers of Christ. Read your Bible. God will show you the way.

 

[ALIOSIAS]

Who don't you receive the Lord Jesus Christ as the Lord of your life. Your whole perception of everything will change. Jesus will replace your unregenerate spirit with a re-created spirit so He can live His life through your spirit. Then you can lead others to Him and rejoice with the rest of Heaven everytime some receives the Lord Jesus. Isn't it exciting! Just think no despair, depression,dejection, anxiety, hopelessness, powerless life etc..............You will be free in Christ and nobody can take that away from you.

 

[bassdrum1]

sounds like me { except the dying part}. i was really mad at God too. i don't know what to tell you but what happened to me was i looked around for the church that felt right for me{ amazingly i stayed at the same church when i started looking} and gave it a chance. eventually i got over being mad at him.i don't know what to tell you except that not all churches wear suits and ties. i've gone to churches that have hard rock music services and they wear nice shorts and shirts. it's pretty relaxed there and no one judges u.