My problems/can I wear a crucifix?

[ethandell]

Since I was young I always had a bible that I use to read.
I always classed myself as a good person, and I was a person who alway
used to group people together, albeit by meeting up in a pub or seeing
a film. I guess it was down to my parents bringing me up well.

I have friends from many different religions, and I respect each
religion that my friends believe in. Personally Christianity as been
the stronger of the religions that I have looked at, due to the fact of
being English and reading the bible on and off all my life.

Even though I've never been Christianed, I believed in a good. I went
through a bad time years ago, and felt that God did leave my life and I
travelled down strange roads.

Then 4 months ago I go in contact with my ex-girlfriend of 12 years. I
started to forsake my wife. Previously I was out of work for 6 months,
and felt I went down this dark road. Even a friend said that I was
traveling in a bad place. Anyway my ex-girlfriend and I did nothing
but meet, watch a film and eat. I had no intentions other than to
become friends again. I did however my heart did fall for her. I
resisted my heart pulling me to her, and now Im trying to get feelings
for my wife. I cooked dinner for my ex-girlfriend the other night and
she said to me what happens if I jumped on you? I said I would stop
you, for I want a full term relationship or nothing.

The night before I met her I started reading the bible after a long
absents and I did instantly find a passage that Jesus said about
unfaithfulness, and as long as we don't have sex, that it is ok. I did
however forsake in the heart. A few days later I did tell my wife, and
she was okay about it to an extent; we split up for a month now. Now
Im coming to terms and trying to get my wife and I to build our
relationship again.

Still I feel thinking good things and believing in God now, that I feel
my life is begining to improve. I actually order a crucifix the other
night. Am I doing right to wear it if I'm not Christianed?

What are your thoughts?

Thanks

 

[chilehed]

It's good that you're reading the Bible, and although I don't think it'd be wrong for you to wear a crucifix remember that it isn't a talisman. It's a symbol of belief, and a reminder of what we believe. Wearing it won't help your spiritutal condition.

Read that passage of the Bible again, Jesus didn't say that it's alright as long as you don't have sex, he said that it is wrong to look at a woman with lust. And although you may not have looked at your girlfriend with lust (I sure couldn't have avoided it) you've placed yourself in in the near occasion of sin. You've made a concious decision to put yourself in a situation of temptation, and although your marriage vow is to direct the affections of your heart toward your wife you have in fact allowed yourself to become attached to another.

This is a sin against yourself and your wife, your girlfriend and against God. I'm telling you this with no thought of rendering judgement against you, but as another imperfect man with his own set of experiences.

The best thing you can do is dump your girlfriend, gently but firmly, and make an act of the will to turn your heart toward your wife, the woman you swore to join to.

Love is a decision.

 

[Sketcher]

I personally believe that all clothing and jewelry is meant to say something about you. If I were to wear a Colorado Avalanche T-shirt, you wouldn't guess it from just passing by, but I would be a liar because I don't like that team at all (Go Wings!

) So you're saying that you haven't become a Christian. I personally believe that only Christians should wear crosses (and a crucifix is a form of cross) for the same reason. Many people have identified themselves as Christians one way or another (such as by wearing crosses) when they really were not; they acted in a non-Christian manner, and Christianity's reputation has suffered because of that. So I will ask that you not wear that crucfix until you've become a Christian.

As an aside, about your ex-girlfriend: You've got Jesus' teaching on adultery backwards. This is what He said regarding it:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery." - Matthew 5:27-32

You're cheating on your wife if you're even thinking about it. Jesus was in fact refuting the teachers that said it's OK to look but not act on your desires. Entertaining those desires in your mind is just as sinful. Also, the ONLY reason that it would be OK to divorce your wife and marry someone else would be if your wife cheated on you first.

I am glad that you're trying again with your wife and I pray it will go well. May God bless that endeavor.

 

[Anti Existance]

You can wear whatever you want , but please don't think your a good person, only God is good. Not that i want to demotivate you, but we often compare our 'own' goodness towards that of other people that we know that we think that live in even greater darkness.

However we often have not a clue of how sinfull our lives are. Everything that we do for ourselves is a sin to begin with. More about that in Daniel Rosenbilts near death experience, who also thought that he was a 'good' person, he never murderdered anyone right?,this made him think he was a 'good' person http://www.near-death.com/rosenblit.html his story is frightening of how wrong he was.

 

[matthewgoh]

Hi ethandell,

Thank you for sharing.

Since you mentioned that you read bible when you were young. So I can assume that you did accept Jesus as your savior. So you were once a Christian. Correct me if I am wrong.

You went through hard times, and to relief your pain, you sinned. So, I see it as God calling on you to go back to him. Your conscience had saved your marriage. You said you want to wear a crucifix, it means your conscience wants to restore your relationship with God. That's great. My advice is, do not reject God, accept Jesus as your savior, ask him to forgive your sins, ask his holy spirit to live in your heart and guide you to live a life that leads you to salvation. Once you have done that, wearing a crucifix is good - as it reminds you of your new self, a born-again Christian.

God bless.

 

[heron]

The crucifix seems fine. I like to set up visuals for myself to remind me of things. For me, wearing a cross would be a reminder to pray. A Bible verse on the fridge would be a reminder of confidence in God's promises to me. I tend to not wear things to show allegiance...that's just me.

The rules on adultery protect both parties. Forget for a minute about a massive God that might zap you for cheating, but think about the impact this has on your wife.

She is devoted to you, has invested much of her time and energy into this marriage. She might have spent the last few years cleaning the toilets and appeasing the in-laws and mending your socks.

To create a fault line just because you feel like it, is very damaging to both of you. If you have kids, it means grabbing every shaking object before it falls and crashes.

Divorce costs money, time, energy, stability, control, reputation, and your health. The person remains in your life, even when you are legally apart.Is a girlfriend worth all that?

If you feel like you can maintain a friendship with her and nothing more, make sure you always meet in public places, where the temptation is lowered. I have plenty of male friends, but make a point to talk to and about their wives, too.

God is always willing to listen to you. Even if you feel guilt, He is willing to erase that so you can start fresh. It sounds like you are already in a mindset of repentance. Allow yourself to move forward in the healthiest path.​

 

[*~DJ~*]

Since I was young I always had a bible that I use to read.
I always classed myself as a good person, and I was a person who alway
used to group people together, albeit by meeting up in a pub or seeing
a film. I guess it was down to my parents bringing me up well.

I have friends from many different religions, and I respect each
religion that my friends believe in. Personally Christianity as been
the stronger of the religions that I have looked at, due to the fact of
being English and reading the bible on and off all my life.

Even though I've never been Christianed, I believed in a good. I went
through a bad time years ago, and felt that God did leave my life and I
travelled down strange roads.

Then 4 months ago I go in contact with my ex-girlfriend of 12 years. I
started to forsake my wife. Previously I was out of work for 6 months,
and felt I went down this dark road. Even a friend said that I was
traveling in a bad place. Anyway my ex-girlfriend and I did nothing
but meet, watch a film and eat. I had no intentions other than to
become friends again. I did however my heart did fall for her. I
resisted my heart pulling me to her, and now Im trying to get feelings
for my wife. I cooked dinner for my ex-girlfriend the other night and
she said to me what happens if I jumped on you? I said I would stop
you, for I want a full term relationship or nothing.

The night before I met her I started reading the bible after a long
absents and I did instantly find a passage that Jesus said about
unfaithfulness, and as long as we don't have sex, that it is ok. I did
however forsake in the heart. A few days later I did tell my wife, and
she was okay about it to an extent; we split up for a month now. Now
Im coming to terms and trying to get my wife and I to build our
relationship again.

Still I feel thinking good things and believing in God now, that I feel
my life is begining to improve. I actually order a crucifix the other
night. Am I doing right to wear it if I'm not Christianed?

What are your thoughts?

Thanks

I believe that wearing a crucifix is a sign of faith- not just a symbol. Sex (acting or thinking) out side of marriage is a sin! If your Bible is saying that thinking about another outisde of marriage vows is okay, then perhaps you could go to a christian store and get a standard KJV. Thinking of another partner is audeltery in the heart. The real core of the problem to me is that being a good person is not enough! Jesus loves you so much that He died just for you! Once you've accepted that, you can build a foundation on Him and restore your life the way you should. God never left you, nor will He ever! You seperated yourself from God through sin! We struggle sometimes for our own good! God allows these things to happed to draw us closer to Him! The core of true understanding is through Jesus Christ. As we trust in Him and grow to know Him more, we are shown what God's Word is telling us. Sometimes it is hard for unbelievers. I was there myself 4 years ago. I was shown the way! It is real simple: You must admit to God that you are a sinner and ask for His forgiveness, then just trust in Jesus! You do not have to be "christianized". There is no course to attend, no test to fill out. Just love! Although I do try to love everyone the way Jesus does, it is hard sometimes! Other religions are not Jesus. I feel for these people. They are missing out on the love and experience of a life time! Your dark road can be brightened by the Light of the World, Jesus Christ. My love and prayers are with you. God bless!

 

[GeorgeB]

You have unfortunately put yourself in a situation with your ex girlfriend that will probably only become worse if it continues. I know your intentions might be legit (just being friends) but nothing good can come from it. You made a vow to your wife as well as to God the day you married your wife. You made a vow to love, cherish, respect her, never to forsake her, lie to her, etc. You are coming very close to the line with what your doing. My suggestion is to become closer to God, get your ex gone, and get on the right track with her wife.

If you and your wife might be having marital problems. You can try seeing a counselor, talking about the issues at hand, etc. Trust me, if you don't, you will definiately regret it.