I was raised in a broken, yet doctrinally conservative Christian home; Due to unstabilities and other issues, I ended up lacking true spiritual guidance, which ultimately resulted in a false assumption of Salvation. When I was approximately 8 or 9 years of age, strong conviction fell over me, and I was greatly distrought, but never did mannage to get any real help, and eventually dropped it all. Then I hit my early teenage years, and, equally lacking direction, spent all my time online, ultimately becoming deeply involved in online pornography.
In this state I remained for between three and five years, living in sin, thinking I was saved, but not having any true victory. I won't ever forget how I tried to witness to others in those days, telling them what I knew about Salvation, and explaining the power of God to provide peace and joy, though I inwardly knew that the selfsame thing I myself lacked. When I look back on those years, they were truly the darkest time in my life. Then things changed when I was given the opportunity to attend a freind's Church Camp. My mom gave me permission to go for two days of the week long function, and so I went.
I arrived, and was greatly hit by the sermons preached, which directly addressed pornography, the cost of sin, and much more. I did not know it at the time, but God had a plan, and the next day my Mom told me I could stay one extra day. By the end of that third day, I knew something had to change in my life. I went to the altar and prayed a prayer of repentance, asking the Lord to change me. I prayed that night that, should it be his will that I stay, he would make a way... It was only a few hours later when my mother told me I could stay for the whole thing.
So I came home a new creature, and had to explain that I had been addicted to porn for all those years. When I look back on it, I know that the Lord gave me the strength. From that point on, I fell betimes, and often found myself on my knees pleeding forgiveness, but never again have I returned to the state in which I have once been! Every day the word of God seems richer to me, every day sin seems more evil and detestable, and every day the Lord does more for me.
I have now been saved several months, since July 24th, 2003... In the past month, God has dealt strongly with me in a number areas which meant alot to me. For one, I always used to play online multiplayer computer games. I felt the Lord telling me to give them to him, and stop playing them... This knowledge I fought for months, until it got right down to it, and faced God outright; He told me that I had surrendered much, but that thing I held on to with all my might... Two weeks ago, I finally surrendered, and gave away $800 worth of software... What meant the world to me for years, what I lived for -- I now can say I gave it all to God. It may seem like a small thing to some of you, and I agree that it is; But my aim is to tell all who read this that there's no limit to what God can do! He can bring you out of any trial you face, he can change you ultimately! The one key that will give you victory is surrender and brokeness, a true will to give everything to God - Everything you once held dear... It's hard to do this, I know, but nevertheless our Lord and Redeemer is a far more worthy prize than anything this world affords today! I praise him, and I hope that, despite my bad grammer, someone might be blessed by this.
In this state I remained for between three and five years, living in sin, thinking I was saved, but not having any true victory. I won't ever forget how I tried to witness to others in those days, telling them what I knew about Salvation, and explaining the power of God to provide peace and joy, though I inwardly knew that the selfsame thing I myself lacked. When I look back on those years, they were truly the darkest time in my life. Then things changed when I was given the opportunity to attend a freind's Church Camp. My mom gave me permission to go for two days of the week long function, and so I went.
I arrived, and was greatly hit by the sermons preached, which directly addressed pornography, the cost of sin, and much more. I did not know it at the time, but God had a plan, and the next day my Mom told me I could stay one extra day. By the end of that third day, I knew something had to change in my life. I went to the altar and prayed a prayer of repentance, asking the Lord to change me. I prayed that night that, should it be his will that I stay, he would make a way... It was only a few hours later when my mother told me I could stay for the whole thing.
So I came home a new creature, and had to explain that I had been addicted to porn for all those years. When I look back on it, I know that the Lord gave me the strength. From that point on, I fell betimes, and often found myself on my knees pleeding forgiveness, but never again have I returned to the state in which I have once been! Every day the word of God seems richer to me, every day sin seems more evil and detestable, and every day the Lord does more for me.
I have now been saved several months, since July 24th, 2003... In the past month, God has dealt strongly with me in a number areas which meant alot to me. For one, I always used to play online multiplayer computer games. I felt the Lord telling me to give them to him, and stop playing them... This knowledge I fought for months, until it got right down to it, and faced God outright; He told me that I had surrendered much, but that thing I held on to with all my might... Two weeks ago, I finally surrendered, and gave away $800 worth of software... What meant the world to me for years, what I lived for -- I now can say I gave it all to God. It may seem like a small thing to some of you, and I agree that it is; But my aim is to tell all who read this that there's no limit to what God can do! He can bring you out of any trial you face, he can change you ultimately! The one key that will give you victory is surrender and brokeness, a true will to give everything to God - Everything you once held dear... It's hard to do this, I know, but nevertheless our Lord and Redeemer is a far more worthy prize than anything this world affords today! I praise him, and I hope that, despite my bad grammer, someone might be blessed by this.
