I have OCD, I also am currently working on a project that...wasnt going to well.
So I decided to do what the bible tells us to do: Pray about it.
I started praying to God, In my mind (This becomes important later), asking him for his support and help on this project.
Right as I was about to end the prayer, my OCD swoops in, like the little devil it is, and directs the prayer, not to God, but instead to Satan! WHY! Id never do that!
Dude, you gotta stop avoiding responsibility for your thought life. OCD isn't something outside of yourself that is trying to afflict you with bad thoughts; it's
you having made a habit of fearful, compulsive thinking. The devil is in the mix, too, nudging your thinking and feelings in certain directions, insinuating thoughts into your mind. But, if you're a child of God, that's all he can do. The devil can't
make you think things you don't want to think; he can't
force you to pray to himself; he can't compel you to all the obsessive stuff typical of OCD thinking. If you're God's child, He has given to you "a spirit of power, of love, and of a sound, disciplined mind." (
2 Timothy 1:7) The Bible says God has not given to any of His children "a Spirit of bondage, again to fear," but the Spirit of adoption whereby they can cry out to God, "Abba, Father!" (
Romans 8:15)
So, you are caught in OCD thinking because
you are
choosing to be caught. If you want to be free of OCD thinking, you can be, but you'll have to start standing by faith on what God says is true of you as His child, rejecting the "intrusive thoughts" you've trained yourself to think. When you start down the OCD road in your mind, interrupt your journey with the truth of God's word about you. If you're one of His, you have no reason to fear (
1 John 4:16-19); if you're a born-again believer, you are a "new creature in Christ, old things are passed away and, behold, all things are become new" (
2 Corinthians 5:17); if you're a child of God, you are "dead to sin and alive unto God" (
Romans 6:1-11); if you're God's adopted son or daughter, you are His forevermore, nothing and no one (not even you) can pluck you out of His hand or remove you from His love (
John 10:28-29; Romans 8:31-39; Hebrews 13:5).
All of the fearful thoughts you have rest ultimately on two
false beliefs:
1.) Your salvation is your doing, that it rests on you, and so, it can be damaged or dissolved by you.
No, your salvation rests upon God's work (
Ephesians 2:8-9; Titus 3:5; 2 Timothy 1:9), upon the work of Christ and the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit. You are only a
believer in, and
receiver of, God's salvation (
John 3:16; Romans 10:9-10; John 1:12; Colossians 2:6), you don't have anything to
contribute to your being saved. And since you did not save yourself, you can do nothing to unsave yourself. God accepts you only because you are in Christ, and Christ will never leave you nor forsake you (
Hebrews 13:5). You need never fear, then, that God no longer accepts you. God is
always going to accept Christ and so He is
always going to accept those in him (
Ephesians 1:3-7).
2.) God is looking for the slightest reason to cast you out.
No, God's love is faithful, enduring,
infinite and we cannot ever get to the end of it (
Romans 8:31-39; 1 John 4:9-10; 1 John 4:16-19). Where our sin abounds, His grace super-abounds (
Romans 5:20). God has gone to incredible lengths to demonstrate His love to you and I, to bring us into His family. After doing so, He is not going to eject us when an intrusive thought, or foolish, compulsive prayer is made. God looks on the heart and deals with us there, remaining committed to us no matter the silly compulsive stuff we might say or do. You see, God loves us because He is love, not because we deserve or have earned His love. It is God's nature to love and so He does. Such love you cannot earn; it is extended to you entirely apart from what you have or haven't done. The wind blows, water is wet, kittens are cute and God loves. None of these things are what they are because of you. So, relax; God's got you and He's not going to let you go. Let His love in, friend. Rest in it, rest in Him.