My Loneliness

[Lonely1004]

I came here to get advice on a big problem that I have been having since I was 14. I came to a christian forum because the majority of them are very nice people and wouldn't say anything rude or hurtful. I've posted my problem on other forums; the people never bother to help me, instead they call me sexually deprived or a homosexual.

I'm a 19 year old male and I have a very difficult time with extreme shyness. I'm at the point where I don't care at all to have friends. However, I do care about having a girlfriend. I want to eventually get married and have a son so an image of myself will live on.

But the problem isn't just the shyness. Sure, I could get a girlfriend, but I wouldn't want her if she had had sex or done other things along those lines.

I have a few questions that I need help with.
First question; What is the percentage of virgins around my age?

I don't want a non-virgin (just so you all know, I consider having oral sex, and making out losing virginity as well) for some good reasons, here's what they are.
1. I feel inferior, like she's done a lot more than me. It just doesn't feel right.
2. Dating a non-virgin is like a child recieving a new doll to play with, exept this doll has been used by many other kids. It's missing an arm, it's scratched up, and many things are wrong with it. I would rather take a doll that's new.
3. I'd feel unimportant, like I was just some one to give them a home and food, instead of love.
4. Since I was 5-years-old I've been a germ-a-phobe, I don't want to even touch a place on a girl where a guy has put certain parts on her.
5. I am on level 0. I also want her to be on level 0 so we can work ourselves up together.
6. Everyone else but me has enjoyed the experience of dating. I want a girl who was also like me. That way I could live what I wanted to live and wouldn't feel inferior.
Second question; what do you think of this? ( please don't put me down when you answer)

I'm skinny/under-weight, I have long light-brown hair that goes down to my neck, I have pale white skin, sky blue eyes, and 5'8.
Third question, are girls attracted to that?

Another thing too is that I want a girl who hasn't kissed before. I've never kissed a girl before and I think it would be more special if I met a girl who was also sharing her first kiss. The only reason I'd let it go is if she hated herself for it.
Fourth question, how many girls at my age have not kissed? And when do girls usually have their first kiss? I never see how people are able to get into those situations.

By the way, mods, please don't delete this. I really would like help on the subject.

 

[savvy]

It sounds like you have really, really high standards. Someone who's never even kissed anyone? You consider kissing akin to losing one's virginity? That's a bit extreme. Well, many girls have usually kissed someone before. I have never met a girl my age who has never made out at some point. Sorry.
Look, there are no perfect, flawless women out there. Everyone has their baggage, you're just going to have to learn to accept certain things. Getting over shyness is difficult, but you just have to put yourself out there and talk to people. A lot of the time I really want to be alone, but I go out and meet people now. And btw, I am quite fond of long hair, and am very pale myself.

 

[seebs]

Depending on what you mean by "making out", nearly everybody does some of that... But I don't think it comes close to losing virginity.

Anyway, if you wanna be all smug and superior towards perfectly good people, you go ahead and do that, but it's a bad way to be. Don't go around judging, don't go around condemning. It does you no good, and narrows your prospects considerably.

What you have here is primate biology; you know that it's important that you be the only sexual partner, so you know the offspring are yours. That, coupled with a lot of social pressures, are making you arrogant and cruel towards a pretty large number of people, some of whom might be very good matches for you.

Suggestion: Get over it. Don't try to make artificial special... Because in doing so, you're making VERY insulting claims about a WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. Just think how a girl will feel if she really likes you, thinks she'd maybe come to love you in time, then finds out that, because she kissed a guy once, she's not "good enough" for you.

Just think about it.

Or, to put it another way, think of something you HAVE done, and imagine being told by a beautiful girl who is perfect for you in every way that that makes you soiled and unacceptable to her.

 

[Buzz Dixon]

If some has done something in their past, repented, come to know Christ, and has been baptized, they are a new person in God's eyes.

So don't be too quick to judge.

Part of your reluctance to meet girls with social experience is that you indicate you have not been very active socially. You may be projecting imagined worries onto people who are not at all what you think they are.

Lots of people are virgins into their 20s and 30s (and beyond); it is possible to find a girlfriend who hasn't experimented sexually in the way you've described.

But you might be denying yourself the companionship of some wonderful women who made an error in judgment or two repented, and have been on the straight and narrow since then.

Standards are good, but forgiveness is a virtue, too.

 

[flicka]

Seek therapy. I'm not putting you down but your problems will not be solved on a message board and you will not have a good relationship with any woman until you get a handle on them.

After that, if its still important to you, I have no doubt you can find a woman who has never been kissed or has never had sex since the Life Style section of these forums seem to be full of them!

 

[jesusfreak3786]

I think you will have to overcome your shyness to see a wide view of the world around you. Don't get me wrong I am not trying to be rude. I was so shy as a teen that I had one friend sometimes. But I have broken out of that shell by being determand not to ever let my shyness overtake me. In being so shy you seclude yourself to a world full of your own perspectives. Get out go somewhere new, people are very complicated including you. If you start to get to know people your high standered of a woman may become more realistic. If you still insist on the same standered, Be patient and expect to wait a long time. I first kissed a boy in kindergarden. It has been studyed how young children start to experement sexualy, and they concluded that one third of all children experement with at least kissing before they are 5 years old.

 

[Lonely1004]

Depending on what you mean by "making out", nearly everybody does some of that... But I don't think it comes close to losing virginity.
I consider making out kissing for more than 5 seconds. Does everyone REALLY do that? I don't even see how they would be in a position to do somthing like that.

What you have here is primate biology; you know that it's important that you be the only sexual partner, so you know the offspring are yours. That, coupled with a lot of social pressures, are making you arrogant and cruel towards a pretty large number of people, some of whom might be very good matches for you.
What the..?! No, you have the wrong idea. I don't want my wife (if I can ever meet one) to have sex with others is because I don't want to touch a place a guy has put his "part" on or inside. Didn't you read where I said I was a germ-a-phobe? I also don't want her to be a higher level than me so I won't feel inferior when I'm working myself up the levels. I wrote that also. And by the way, they wouldn't be good matches for me because I don't feel comfortable around people like that.

Lots of people are virgins into their 20s and 30s (and beyond); it is possible to find a girlfriend who hasn't experimented sexually in the way you've described.
With the way everyone's talking and from what I'm seeing, that looks hard for me to find. Are you sure about that?

Seek therapy.
..I have already

It has been studyed how young children start to experement sexualy, and they concluded that one third of all children experement with at least kissing before they are 5 years old.
Oh my god, are you serious? I did hear from someone that at 8-years-old girls have their first kiss. I thought they were only joking. 5-year-olds kissings? That's just plain sick, I want to throw up. Can you give me a link on the web to where you have found this information?

 

[jesusfreak3786]

It has been studyed how young children start to experement sexualy, and they concluded that one third of all children experement with at least kissing before they are 5 years old.
Oh my god, are you serious? I did hear from someone that at 8-years-old girls have their first kiss. I thought they were only joking. 5-year-olds kissings? That's just plain sick, I want to throw up. Can you give me a link on the web to where you have found this information?

I read it in a human psychology book. Humans by nature are courios. Espesially at a young age.

 

[seebs]

Depending on what you mean by "making out", nearly everybody does some of that... But I don't think it comes close to losing virginity.
I consider making out kissing for more than 5 seconds. Does everyone REALLY do that? I don't even see how they would be in a position to do somthing like that.

The most innocent and sheltered people I've ever met have done that by the time they're 20.

What the..?! No, you have the wrong idea. I don't want my wife (if I can ever meet one) to have sex with others is because I don't want to touch a place a guy has put his "part" on or inside. Didn't you read where I said I was a germ-a-phobe?

There's a gap between the actual instinct, and how we explain it.

But... Honestly, if that really is the reasoning, it's pathological. Seek counseling.

I also don't want her to be a higher level than me so I won't feel inferior when I'm working myself up the levels. I wrote that also.

You're making a grave error in assigning "levels" to these things. It isn't like that.

And by the way, they wouldn't be good matches for me because I don't feel comfortable around people like that.

You might want to learn, because there are a lot of such people who are pretty good people that you might want to get to know.

Learning to be comfortable with people is often healthy.

It has been studyed how young children start to experement sexualy, and they concluded that one third of all children experement with at least kissing before they are 5 years old.
Oh my god, are you serious? I did hear from someone that at 8-years-old girls have their first kiss. I thought they were only joking. 5-year-olds kissings? That's just plain sick, I want to throw up. Can you give me a link on the web to where you have found this information?

I don't know about web links, but that's what I learned in developmental psych. I kissed a lot of my friends when I was maybe 5. It was a good way to express affection. I got socialized out of it, but what of it?

Seriously, dude, if that makes you feel "sick", you have some kind of problem that needs treatment. Fact is, this is not transmitting more germs than most people get just walking around.

 

[Glory Defined]

Hi Lonely

Gosh, where can we start. First let me tell you about a great book which you should find most appealing. It's called, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. Also it's sequel "Boy Meets Girl" talks about his own personal romance and eventual marriage with his wife. Good news, yes there are virgins out there your age.

Now, I would be totally off if I didn't say a few things about what you have shared. First of all, how much do you trust God? See, it isn't just about trusting Jesus with our lives, but all aspects of our lives as well, including who you will marry. God has the perfect woman for you, and he is preparing her for you, however, let us remember that He knows what is perfect for us, and sometimes we do not. Let me explain a little of my own story. I am a mother of a beautiful 5 year old girl. I have been a dedicated Christian for the last 8 years. My giftings include evangilism and teaching gifts. I am active in Church, and study my Bible everyday, and I love God with all my heart. But you see, I came with baggage. When my husband met me, I had been born and raised in sin city Las Vegas, with a non-christian past and upbringing, had been already once married to a non-christian, and was a single mother. My husband had only ever dated one girl seriously. He had every right to expect what you are looking for. And yet in that, he saw me as a treasure.

See God makes us new in him. I have done many things I regret, and some things I wouldn't undo, because that is how God opened my heart to him. I am by no means saying that God won't find a gal for you who is exactly what you are praying for. My point is that you may be best to pray for what God wants, rather than what you want, you may be pleasantly surprised at the treasure he has in store for you.

By the way, I do hope you find the innocent flower you desire. There are a couple other things I feel are important to share. First, it seems evident to me that you are not veiwing yourself the way God views you. Remember that you are a saint, holy and beloved of the Father, and an hier to the Lord. The best advice I can give you is to get into the Word of God, and drink it in like it is water in a hot desert. This will continually renew in your mind how you precieve yourself, and show you the wonderful craftsmanship with which you are made, and also it will help you to trust the father who loves you to fill your life with people who will build you up in him, and most especially your eventual spouse.

In Christ,
Phelicia

 

[fragile one]

First question; What is the percentage of virgins around my age?

At 19? Probably not a lot. Of course, there are some, but 19...most of them have had sex before, I imagine.

1. I feel inferior, like she's done a lot more than me. It just doesn't feel right.

There's no need to feel inferior.

2. Dating a non-virgin is like a child recieving a new doll to play with, exept this doll has been used by many other kids. It's missing an arm, it's scratched up, and many things are wrong with it. I would rather take a doll that's new.

No, it's not. Dating a person who is not a virgin is dating a person. They're not damaged goods. If you really care about the person, you won't see them that way, either. And if you do see them as damaged goods, do them a favor - don't date them!

3. I'd feel unimportant, like I was just some one to give them a home and food, instead of love.

Huh?

Just because someone has had sex before, doesn't mean you can't love someone else. I'm only 24 and have been in love twice in my life. Had sex with both of them. That doesn't mean I can't love another person in the future.

4. Since I was 5-years-old I've been a germ-a-phobe, I don't want to even touch a place on a girl where a guy has put certain parts on her.

The body is full of germs - regardless of being a virgin or not

5. I am on level 0. I also want her to be on level 0 so we can work ourselves up together.

Well, I can understand that.

6. Everyone else but me has enjoyed the experience of dating. I want a girl who was also like me. That way I could live what I wanted to live and wouldn't feel inferior.

Not true. I have a very good friend who is 31 years old and has never been on a date.

Second question; what do you think of this? ( please don't put me down when you answer)

I'm not trying to put you down. Do you have someone you can talk to about this? It sounds like you might be depressed about your level (or lack of) social activity with the opposite sex. A counselor? A pastor? A trusted friend? Maybe it'd do you some good to voice your fears to someone in real life.

I'm skinny/under-weight, I have long light-brown hair that goes down to my neck, I have pale white skin, sky blue eyes, and 5'8.
Third question, are girls attracted to that?

Girls are attracted to many different things. We aren't all the same, and therefore we are attracted to different guys. I'll tell you what, though - confidence, a friendly demeanor, kindness, compassion - those attract girls just as much as looks, if not more so. Hey, I'm a sucker for a pair of green eyes, but I'd rather date a brown-eyed chap who is good to me, you know?

Another thing too is that I want a girl who hasn't kissed before. I've never kissed a girl before and I think it would be more special if I met a girl who was also sharing her first kiss. The only reason I'd let it go is if she hated herself for it.

Kissing is overemphasised in the American culture. I kiss my relatives on the lips a lot. Just a custom I grew up with. Kissing someone who is a friend on the cheek(s) in public is also common in some countries. Did that, too.

Fourth question, how many girls at my age have not kissed?

Probably very slim. I'm sure there are some, but I don't know any personally (do know one male that has never kissed anyone before, the above-mentioned 31 year old).

And when do girls usually have their first kiss? I never see how people are able to get into those situations.

First kiss? Mine was when I was a baby, Ma and Da and my relations kissed me all the time (innocent, not perverted). First romantic kiss? I was 12. I imagine most girls kiss sometime in their mid-teens.

 

[b@rtleby]

I'm at the point where I don't care at all to have friends. However, I do care about having a girlfriend. I want to eventually get married and have a son so an image of myself will live on.

Hi Lonely1004,

A lot of people have given you some very good advice here and I don’t want to repeat what they have said even if much of bears repeating but I think not only is your attitude to women, putting it politely, maladjusted but your attitude towards relationships in general and children in particular, if the quote above is representative, are also deeply troubling.
Friendship is the foundation on which a marriage is built and on which it lasts. If you’re prime interest in getting married is to have children (or rather sons) and your prime interest in having children (or rather sons) is having an image of yourself live on then I suspect that it would be kinder to everyone involved if you became a sperm donor. Or maybe to become a scientist and do pioneering work in cloning?
From your post it seems that you are not interested in having friends and I can’t imagine many women (virgins or not) who would want to be regarded as a baby (or rather son) making machine for someone who didn’t feel friendship towards them, nor many children who would want to feel that they were brought into the world so their father’s image could live on (especially if they had the misfortune to be born girls)
Perhaps it would be better if you left relationships to people who wanted to share their lives with other people and children to those who want children to bring new life into the world rather than to create replicas of themselves to perpetuate the unhappiness and self esteem issues of their parents.

I’m aware that this may sound a little harsh but the value of friendship, as I hope you may one day learn, is that we get to hear opinions other than our own from people who have our best interests at heart.

I hope this helps,

bjb

 

[soulful]

ok like ur first writer i have to say yeah standards are high but why compromise yourself if you know what u want and u stand firm and believew for it it can happen and it seems u have believed for so long for this......shyness is good if shyness is you then let it be but if youn know its not you and you hate it let it go find the real you.....viginity lost when kissing that is a new one i think im with ya on the oral but i can seethat i respect that.....how about thinking as a person more like as bin trained well not trained but expierienced in the areas such as u are not like the intimacy people go through life with a few gf's and the 1st usually doesnt last because they have no idea where to go once they have reached there potential as people that have had relationships have learnt and no where to go what to do and waht not to do .......all up your asking alot but if u believe have faith all these things may b there waiting for u ......just sum food for thought......

 

[Dragar]

The most innocent and sheltered people I've ever met have done that by the time they're 20.

I rather imagine that, short of unexpected surprise in the next month or so, seebs, you'll know at least one who hasn't before he turns 20.

Wait...why am I adding smileys? That's not a good thing!

Curse my innate cheerfulness! Curse it I say!

To the OP: Listen to seebs. He's on the ball.

Dragar

 

[Shane Roach]

I came here to get advice on a big problem that I have been having since I was 14. I came to a christian forum because the majority of them are very nice people and wouldn't say anything rude or hurtful. I've posted my problem on other forums; the people never bother to help me, instead they call me sexually deprived or a homosexual.

I'm a 19 year old male and I have a very difficult time with extreme shyness. I'm at the point where I don't care at all to have friends. However, I do care about having a girlfriend. I want to eventually get married and have a son so an image of myself will live on.

But the problem isn't just the shyness. Sure, I could get a girlfriend, but I wouldn't want her if she had had sex or done other things along those lines.

I think you need first to deal with your shyness. It is pretty severe if you are not even willing to struggle through that so that you can have friends. We all need friends.

I have a few questions that I need help with.
First question; What is the percentage of virgins around my age?

Fairly low, but as has been mentioned, there are some still. I was a virgin until I was 23. Although, I had kissed over 5 seconds, so.... Make of that what you will.

I don't want a non-virgin (just so you all know, I consider having oral sex, and making out losing virginity as well) for some good reasons, here's what they are.
1. I feel inferior, like she's done a lot more than me. It just doesn't feel right.

You may well be inferior even if she doesn't have a lot of experience. Some people are just better at some things than others. Also, your shyness may make it difficult for you to comfortably learn together. As I said before, you need to work on the level of shyness you seem to be struggling with. I think more than anything else, that is what is driving your lonliness. Ulike some of the other people who have been posting advice for you here, I doubt that your problem is an overdeveloped self image. Just the opposite. Some of the things you say come across as egotistical, but I imagine that's just because your own self image is so low that you say things in passing that you have no idea how cruel they sound to others, because you have no problem applying them to yourself.

I could be wrong, but that's my take.

2. Dating a non-virgin is like a child recieving a new doll to play with, exept this doll has been used by many other kids. It's missing an arm, it's scratched up, and many things are wrong with it. I would rather take a doll that's new.

Once you are capable of carrying on fairly normal relationships as friends, I think you will be able to find women who feel much this same way. Again, you may not be aware of just how hurtfull this description you have given sounds to some of us, but the point is, we all want to feel more or less on the same level as those close to us, and if you have saved yourself for true love, I don't think it is asking too much that the other person has as well. On the other hand, you might want to at least entertain the possibility that, like God has done in dealing with us, there is value in forgiving and letting go, such that you do not just throw away a perfectly good relationship because you are unwilling to forgive a prior indescretion on their part which they have repented of already.

3. I'd feel unimportant, like I was just some one to give them a home and food, instead of love.

Again, very understandable, but I think blown out of all proportion due to your apparently intense shyness.

4. Since I was 5-years-old I've been a germ-a-phobe, I don't want to even touch a place on a girl where a guy has put certain parts on her.

Virgins have germs too... Seriously, there is really nothing you can do about this. You need to look at it more or less like you look at just going out into the world every day. Some risks one simply must take. The number of germs per square inch on the typical virgin and non-virgin are virtually the same in probably nearly all cases. I doubt there has been much study done on this subject, but I bet you could ask around and find out that mine is a fairly decent educated guess on that subject.

Let that one go.

5. I am on level 0. I also want her to be on level 0 so we can work ourselves up together.

The most important thing you said here is true, again, no matter what her experience level might be. She may have had sex dozens of times, and yet the first time you two ever make love, for whatever reason, she may enjoy what you do much more than you enjoy her, or vice versa, for any number of reasons. What is necessary is that you learn together how to make one another happy. Here again, your feelings are perfectly natural, but I think blown out of proportion due to your struggles with shyness.

6. Everyone else but me has enjoyed the experience of dating. I want a girl who was also like me. That way I could live what I wanted to live and wouldn't feel inferior.

Unfortunately for you, your feelings of inadequacy may have robbed you of ever experiencing this. You are getting to an age where, even if there are a reasonable number of virgins still, the percentage of people who have not dated is vanishingly small. It is something you will probably need to just let go of. Believe me, the discomfort of being one of two people who are painfully inexperienced in dating is not anything much to have missed. Skipping that stage may be a blessing in disguise, buddy!

Second question; what do you think of this? ( please don't put me down when you answer)

I'm skinny/under-weight, I have long light-brown hair that goes down to my neck, I have pale white skin, sky blue eyes, and 5'8.
Third question, are girls attracted to that?

I think that as long as you have reasonably good hygeine, you will find that there are girls that are attracted to you.

Another thing too is that I want a girl who hasn't kissed before. I've never kissed a girl before and I think it would be more special if I met a girl who was also sharing her first kiss. The only reason I'd let it go is if she hated herself for it.
Fourth question, how many girls at my age have not kissed? And when do girls usually have their first kiss? I never see how people are able to get into those situations.

Here again, you are getting on towards an age where that is simply going to be asking too much. Kissing is not all that complicated. I'd say let go of that as well. My first kisses were pretty nice, even though the girl had kissed before and I hadn't. I did ok, and I just never bothered telling her I hadn't kissed before.

I think your relative difficulties with relationships in general have you putting a lot of weight on some relatively unimportant things. I hope you can let go of at least some of them, and also work on just getting out there and meeting people, so you can learn what sorts of things are considered acceptable and unacceptable, and basically get accustomed to interacting with a variety of different sorts of people. You don't have to abandon your goals, here, but you do need to learn a few things about just being social to begin with.

Good luck, and maybe you could try praying and going to church. I think meeting friends, and especially male friends, is going to be important to you. You need some ballance in your life. Don't give up on just having friends.

 

[daidhaid]

Seem to be a variety of phobia and neurosis in play here but the outstanding ones in my mind are fear of failure 1/e a sense of inadequacy.
Perhaps you fear being compared unfavorably to other guys.

The germ phobia may stand alone as well.

You need counselling from a skilled professional not annonymous advice.

Just posing the questions rationaly is a good start, so persevere.

good luck

 

[Duchess Dines Out]

I understand your wanting to marry a virgin... So, I'm not going to say anything about that, but I do have a few thoughts that I think you should consider.

These days, it is a very sheltered person, much like yourself, who has never even kissed anyone. So, here's my thoughts on the subject... If you are looking for someone exactly like yourself, how on earth would you find eachother? I mean, I'm sure they are out there, but they are probably hanging around their house and not talking to anyone when they do go out. People who do not have the fears you have, go out and sometimes make mistakes. They might even feel that they haven't made mistakes even though they've lived a life very differant from your own.

You might want to consider that someone very differant from you, might be able to help you. If she is a very outgoing person and she loves you, she might be able to get you to start moving past the problems that you have. And if she has more experience than you, she would be able to teach you things that you may be glad to learn.

A relationship between yourself and someone just like you would create a life of more of the same. And any child you have would grow up behaving just like you. Of course, that might not be a bad thing... but if you admit that you need counciling for some of your problems, do you really think that finding a person to marry with the same problems and passing those problems to the next generation is really a good thing to do?

You should consider the fact that a woman who is willing to love you inspite of the difficulties you've had in your life, deserves the same from you.

 

[Duchess Dines Out]

oh... and I forgot to mention something else... since you are not shy online, and you are looking for a wife, maybe you should consider some internet dating sites. You might find what you are looking for there. But, I'd tread lightly on talking about your expectations...

You wouldn't want to scare away the right girl... sometimes what you think you want isn't really what you want at all.

 

[redz_guy]

Sorry but I think you need to have a beer in a dirty glass, get laid and thank God your alive!.. Your missing all the spice of life my brother.

 

[Lifesaver]

I'm a 19 year old male and I have a very difficult time with extreme shyness. I'm at the point where I don't care at all to have friends. However, I do care about having a girlfriend. I want to eventually get married and have a son so an image of myself will live on.

Lonely1004, many people face problems similar to yours.
You are not an inferior person or any less worthy of respect for that.
However, let me tell you right now that your biggest problem, even with regards to love, is not shyness itself, but lack of faith, which distorts your priorities.

What you really need is someone who loves you back, and you fool yourself thinking that you need to "learn" sex or to have it.

Just like you are not inferior for not having dated before, so isn't a girl who has. And that does not make a girl disgusting at all.

Of course, chastity is what you and her should uphold. But if in the past she hasn't been as chaste as she ought to, if she feels sorry for that, there is nothing wrong with her.
It is a lustful and disordered fetish to crave for "pure and clean" virgin girl.

In our modern world, disgracefully, most girls our age are not virgin anymore. And pratically all have kissed.

The notion that dating should be done by two people who intend to marry someday has been completely lost, and thus both boys and girls offer their own bodies and mouths to everyone else, in search of a moment of pleasure.
And he would fool himself who thought that teenagers are happier like this. Depression, suicide and dark lifestyles are becoming more popular.

And dating is not the most important thing in one's life. In centuries past, a virgin person, either man or woman, wouldn't be seen as the "ultimate loser". But in our society, where sex is the ultimate goal of all, they are seen exactly that.

So before even meeting a girl, your soul should turn itself towards meeting God; towards the Church which is the only place where men and women can truly fulfil the true goal of their lives.
That is the only way to break out of our lustful and morbid modern culture of instant pleasure, and into the unchanging realm of everlasting joy.
You'll even be able to apreciate your relationships more when they come, if they come.