My Life, My Girlfriend, I NEED YOUR HELP

[NickMack88]

Here is a quick summary on my life...

I'm 17, male from UK, when i was 7-8 my parents split up, and when i was 11 my mum was cheated on by her boyfriend while she was pregnant (he wanted a baby), she had to sell the house we was in and move into an apartment just to survive the payments.

In October 2003 mum had to leave with my bro (who is now 6) to Spain to live with my nan and grandad, as they were at a security risk here... the boyfriend tried to break in, threatened to kill my mum, and tried to take her to court over custody of my bro.

I moved in with my dad and carried on with school, being support by my girlfriend, i met her in 2001-2002 on a game that my mums ex-boyfriend gave me (how ironic), we started talking to eachother and got our MSN/AIM details, and started talking everynight.

We grew very close, and started to fall in love (hard to believe since it was a net relationship), we sent letters with pics often and later on we got webcams, she is beautiful... a Christian family... and i thanked God for giving me some happiness out of all the suffering i had in my life.

We talked about kids, marriage, a happy future together. Was like a dream come true finding my soul partner so early... I was sacrificing my sleep on school nights staying up at 2-3am just to speak to her. I always supported and comforted her over the 3years and she done the same for me. I helped her with homework/essays/scholarships which helped her win $500 for college.

On June 28th, 2 days after our 3 year anniversary, we made that huge step by me flying over to see her and spend 10 days with her and her family. It was amazing... best days of my life, as soon as i see her at the airport we gave eachother a big hug and kiss on cheek, and she immediately held my hand and we walked to her parents where i ofcorse shook their hand and said hello and thankyou for letting me stay, i got my luggage and we left for their house which is only 20mins away from the airport (CVG Airport in Ohio).

We connected immediately, on 1st day when we got back home, i took a tour round the house, and me and her went downstairs to the basement to show me the laundry area and how their working on a guest room. I put my arms round her and hugged her and kissed her on cheek and moved round to her lips but she stopped me, i was worried thinking she didnt like me but she said she was just shy so i said it was ok . We then went to her best friends house, played some boardgames while holding hands under the table, and we went to Portobello's, a very nice restaurant, and went back to watch American Pie at her friend's house again, we had kissed before this and experienced our first french and were getting comfortable now. We had covers around us cus we were cold and my arm was round her and i'd learn over and kiss her cheek once every few mins and whispered that i loved her and ofcorse she'd reply.

Later on at night when we got back home, after we said our prayers with her parents in the livingroom, they went to sleep and she followed me to the bedroom where i was sleeping in (her younger bro's who were sleeping on her bedroom floor during my stay), and she stayed from 12am to 3am. Was amazing... lots of kissing and exploring our bodies with our hands etc... you know how it goes . During my 10days there we done everything apart from the actual sexual intercourse, as she wants to save that for marriage and i understood completely.

Following morning she woke me up and i immediately sat up and kissed her and gave her a massive hug, just thinking that we made it... our suffering of 3 years without physical contact had ended, and it paid off, we proved to everyone that it wasnt just a fling, or something that would die out, and we proved we could stay faithful even if it was long distance.

We were so proud of eachother, though her parents were a different story... around them we couldnt even hold hands as they said ''we shouldnt act like a married couple'', they hated me... they said i was fat/ugly/immature etc... they act like their perfect and they belittle everyone else around them, they always criticize people on TV rather than sympathise and try to help... i was thinking surely this isnt how Christians should be acting...

Me and her practically spent all day together everyday, going to restaurants, malls, movies, friends, parks etc etc. I'd pay for it all, i bought her gifts such as perfume and a 2hearted necklace that was a symbol of me and her.

Well after an amazing 10 days it had to come to an end... the night before she was hugging me on the bed being a bit upset knowing we had to be broken apart tomoz at the airport... her mum walked in with a bad look on her face telling her to get off me and to get to bed.

For the last day, we escaped in the car just so we could kiss/hug and talk before going back to get ready for carpark and again we promised to always love eachother, and to always stay together and get through it. We held hands all the way back to the airport with her parents in front preaching about God, Bible the future and us..., we just couldnt stop lookin at eachother and we had a big knot in our throats... could tell how much we wanted to cry.

For the last time we hugged tightly and i kissed her on cheek before sayin bye... went over and shook her parents hand and thanking me for my stay offering them $100 for my upkeeping of food etc.

And started to slowly walk away constantly looking back at my beautiful girlfriend knowing we were being ripped apart just because we lived in different countries, but knew we'd be back together again.

Things started to change... as soon as i got back to UK, Maryanna was upset saying her parents called her a **** and a harlot just for hugging and kissing me on cheek (they didnt know about the rest), i was disgusted with them... who could say that to their own daughter?

They banned her from talking to me, so she had troubles getting on comp to see me..., so communication broke down and eventually she said she wanted to be ''on a break'' to which i was devastated.. as she wanted to be on her own to study at college with no distractions... i didnt understand why since i would of helped her with studying...

We eventually started arguing more and more because i was angry and upset and wasnt thinking straight. I couldnt accept that we were on our break and still thought of us as together. The WORST thing happened... her phone jack broke so no internet, meaning we couldnt talk on comp, only email when she was at the library. She grew tired of it and blocked all contact with me, phone, comp, emails, even blocked me on her MySpace diary...

I've been trying to say sorry for anything i may have done wrong... i love her with all my heart and would never do anything to upset her or hurt her but she wont give me another chance.

Why doesnt God want me to be happy? After all the suffering i've had in my life, Maryanna was the cure and i thought i'd found light at the end of the tunnel, only to have it taken away from me.

All i want is her... She's the only person who makes me happy and the reason why i woke up the next day, i hate my life without her.

Please help me and give suggestions cause i need them... I earlier ordered 18 red roses from a florist for over $55 and they will arrive at her house tomorrow.

Quick stats...

My DoB, May19th 1988
Her DoB, October24th 1986

She is russian and moved to America with her family in search of a better life when she was only 6-8 years old.

I need atleast 15posts to post a link, so i cant show pictures of us together...

What can i do?

 

[CordieLaLa]

Hi Nick,

I honestly cannot offer you any advice because I am experiencing my own heartache and I'm completely confused and out of ideas too. I would like to see what advice you get.

In the meantime I pray that you get some sort of comfort too.

 

[NickMack88]

Hi Nick,

I honestly cannot offer you any advice because I am experiencing my own heartache and I'm completely confused and out of ideas too. I would like to see what advice you get.

In the meantime I pray that you get some sort of comfort too.

Thankyou *hugs*

 

[jehovahjireh2007]

Dear Father,

I pray that you will work out this situation

In Your Name, Amen

In order to get blessings the Recreation Room and the teens forum are the best places.

Derbystudent

 

[kiddy]

Gee. So you fell in love on the internet; met once; got intimate; her parents objected; that upset her; you weren't happy at how she treated you afterrards; she cut off communication; you want to get back, but there doesn't seem a way?

I think one thing you need to do is to look at it from everyone's point of view. Her parents were probably dead scared about what she might get into (I mean people have been murdered through contacts on the Internet - it is amazing they let things go as far as they did!). So the parents are worried for their daughter, protective, want the best for her, etc.

Your girlfriend may have had reservations put in her mind after the visit. She may have regretted getting as close as she did (after all she did want to keep something for marriage) and may have felt guilty. Confused. Been put under other pressures from parents. Didn't like seeing you get angry? Who knows what happened to her?

Then there is your point of view - seeking someone else to sort out the problems in your life isn't the best way of dealing with those problems. Sometime or the other the other person will let you down. You have to find ways of dealing with those 'other issues' in your life yourself. Your happiness should NEVER depend upon another person - because, basically, they wont always play ball. In my opinion in marriage the most successful marriages are made from two 'complete' mature people, who compliment, and don't depend upon each other. So understanding yourself a little more would also be useful. And finding a "happiness" (for want of a better word) that is not based in how someone else treats you etc.

It may be hard to take any further if she wont communicate... and that may be a harsh reality to also face... I guess time will tell... you will have your own emotions to face about what you've already putin to the relationship (timewise/physically/emotionally/financially etc.) to deal with...no small matter.. but Ithink dealing with that is part of 'being an emotionally mature person' - sorting out your own 'stuff' whether you are forced to move on, or ever get back with her.

It seems you still know how to contact each other; you could blog about it and leave her the url! so she could read what you are going through, thinking and feeling etc....(and you can get free blogs at blogger.com) but at the end of the day I don't think seeking happiness in other people is going to give you a brilliant life.

From a religious perspective it is in God alone that we find the love and acceptance and everything else that we need. And the strength to be 'happy' (or is that something slightly different called 'joy') whatever the world throws at us.

 

[Johnnz]

It is quite possible that her parents have intervened in some way. Only she can make te choice to work around that.

It's going to be a hard time for you.

John
NZ

 

[SonsOfThunder7]

I recently left a relationship where she was the source of my comfort, love, whatever else I may have needed. I never thought it would end, neither did she. It is only now that I am apart from her that I am realizing that everything I could ever need comes from God and God alone. I know it hurts, I've been there and am still dealing. God wants you to seek Him, not her. God removed me from that relationship so that I would focus on my relationship with Him. Maybe that's what He's doing with you? You're in my prayers.