My husband smokes marijuana, and I'm sick of it....fed up, and tired of waiting.

[HeLovesWeedMore]

I'm a 41-year-old christian wife and mother of two young children. We attend a church of God where my husband's step-dad is the Associate Pastor, and his mom is the worship leader/piano player. He grew up as a preacher's kid, and everyone but him has said 'he's called to preach'. We have been married for nine years. We met at a River of Life church in Florida, but now we live in Arkansas. When I met him, he appeared to be a God-fearing christian, praising God with arms uplifted at the front of the church. I found out later he had a little brush with the law, but now the charges of burglary have been expunged. I should have seen the red flags when I met him, because the day we were to be married, he snapped at me, yelling and making me cry... but I married him anyway. He has had temper issues, but has never hit me. In our first year of marriage in Florida, he snuck around and smoked pot. He would hide it from me, and when I found out, he would apologize and say he would quit, but would always go back to it. Today, in Arkansas, after nine years of marriage, he still smokes, but with no shame, he does it right in front of me, and the kids, in the house, in the living room, while playing his xbox game, no matter how much I say "go outside" til I'm blue in the face. His response is "turn that fan on, open that window". He has no concept of "we're in a confined small mobile home, turning a fan on or opening a window will not remove all the toxins in the air". It's almost like he doesn't care. He had a job interview the other day, and drank some flush before it, but the next day, he was rolling one up and smoking all over again. Oh, and his 21 year old nephew is his new BFF, who smokes pot with him here in our house, plays xbox modern warfare games nonstop. I am a prisoner in my own home. I have to retreat to my bedroom, bathroom or kids room to escape the cigarrette and marijuana smoke. I know God will deliver him, but when? I'm so sick of waiting. He also deals pot some out of our home, and keeps his "small supply" in our kitchen cabinet by the fridge. No shame whatsoever. he laughs it off when I say something, or throws my weight gain in my face. That is not a good analogy at all. I gave birth to two children, and gained a significant amount of weight. Getting the weight off is a struggle, but to me, not a sin. He makes fat jokes. He says I am committing the sin of gluttony. I don't overeat, I just don't have an active exercise routine. I don't exercise at all, although I should. I want to leave, but trying to stay committed to the marriage. His family tell me to just pray and he'll change. I feel like he never will.

 

[saved24]

Praying for you. May the Lord give you grace and wisdom. God bless.

 

[Hishandmaiden]

Dear sister, I just pray for you.
I will never understand the kind of pain you go through.
Yet, don't give up. God is greater than our weakness.
He can change a person. BE patient and continue to pray for your husband.
I am sure he will come out of his addiction one day.

P/S: Maybe the reason Satan is attacking him so hard is because Satan knows that he is called to be a pastor and therefore tried his best to stop your husband from fulfilling his call in life.

 

[Angeldove97]

Welcome to the site!

May I suggest some better forums to post about this? (This forum is meant for welcoming/get to know you- not real conversation)

Married Couples
Women's Discussion (Women Only)
Ask a Chaplain
Substance Abuse

 

[Angelbug]

Welcome to CF
I hope you enjoy your time here
I will add you to my prayers

 

[Chaplain David]

I'm a 41-year-old christian wife and mother of two young children. We attend a church of God where my husband's step-dad is the Associate Pastor, and his mom is the worship leader/piano player. He grew up as a preacher's kid, and everyone but him has said 'he's called to preach'. We have been married for nine years. We met at a River of Life church in Florida, but now we live in Arkansas. When I met him, he appeared to be a God-fearing christian, praising God with arms uplifted at the front of the church. I found out later he had a little brush with the law, but now the charges of burglary have been expunged. I should have seen the red flags when I met him, because the day we were to be married, he snapped at me, yelling and making me cry... but I married him anyway. He has had temper issues, but has never hit me. In our first year of marriage in Florida, he snuck around and smoked pot. He would hide it from me, and when I found out, he would apologize and say he would quit, but would always go back to it. Today, in Arkansas, after nine years of marriage, he still smokes, but with no shame, he does it right in front of me, and the kids, in the house, in the living room, while playing his xbox game, no matter how much I say "go outside" til I'm blue in the face. His response is "turn that fan on, open that window". He has no concept of "we're in a confined small mobile home, turning a fan on or opening a window will not remove all the toxins in the air". It's almost like he doesn't care. He had a job interview the other day, and drank some flush before it, but the next day, he was rolling one up and smoking all over again. Oh, and his 21 year old nephew is his new BFF, who smokes pot with him here in our house, plays xbox modern warfare games nonstop. I am a prisoner in my own home. I have to retreat to my bedroom, bathroom or kids room to escape the cigarrette and marijuana smoke. I know God will deliver him, but when? I'm so sick of waiting. He also deals pot some out of our home, and keeps his "small supply" in our kitchen cabinet by the fridge. No shame whatsoever. he laughs it off when I say something, or throws my weight gain in my face. That is not a good analogy at all. I gave birth to two children, and gained a significant amount of weight. Getting the weight off is a struggle, but to me, not a sin. He makes fat jokes. He says I am committing the sin of gluttony. I don't overeat, I just don't have an active exercise routine. I don't exercise at all, although I should. I want to leave, but trying to stay committed to the marriage. His family tell me to just pray and he'll change. I feel like he never will.

Hello,

The Recovery Forums, subsection Substance abuse located here http://www.christianforums.com/f275/ is a place where you can talk about substance abuse issues and receive feedback from both men and women. The women's forum is another place where you can talk about confidential topics. You may have to request permission to post in the women's forum and receive action from MSC. This is the link to the women's forum: http://www.christianforums.com/f233/ Here is the link to MSC to request admission to the women's forum: http://www.christianforums.com/f883/

Faithfully,

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

MOD HAT ON

Moved to Substance Abuse


MOD HAT OFF
​

 

[kmacadelic]

Why Mod hat?

[kmacadelic|||]

 

[kmacadelic]

Marijauana has never killed anyone

[kmacadelic|||]

 

[audiologic]

Marijauana has never killed anyone

[kmacadelic|||]

Whether or not this is true, you're MISSING THE POINT ENTIRELY. Or did you fail to read through it because you're too stoned? (I'm aware that it is near medically impossible to OD on pot, but that doesn't mean people haven't done stupid stuff under the influence).

To the poster:

I'm not against marijuana personally. I think it can be useful both medically and for relaxation/social experience. I'm for the legalization and regulation of it, as it is a much safer alternative to alcohol. I don't smoke it, though I used to.

HOWEVER:

This is absolutely ridiculous. Whether this man claims to follow God or not, he is executing his typical dominant male power over you. He's got you in a bind and he knows it. That in and of itself is clearly not an act of God. And smoking pot in the house when you ask him not to would be bad enough - but with kids? Not only is he harassing you and ignoring the possible health risks to the children, he is placing both you and him in potential legal trouble. Police often brush off a small marijuana offense, depending on where you live, but NOT where kids are involved.

"Love is patient, love is kind" - true. However, keep in mind also that "Acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent- the LORD detests them both." Proverbs 17:15. The LORD will not detest YOU of course, He loves you. However, ask yourself: am I acquitting the guilty by putting up with this?

"Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the LORD understand it fully." I don't think it's right to call your man "evil", but if what he is doing violates that which is right, he is doing evil things. I would do something about it, but I'm a separate entity, and I don't know the situation. If you feel in your heart there's a way to reach him otherwise, then it is up to you. However, sometimes the most effective approach is the most painful one. Sometimes, people have to step away for the other to realize what they've done. Pain is how we are taught lessons, it is how we grow.

Whatever happens, know that your story is not doomed to an endless cycle of misery - unless you let it happen. God has much more power and control, true; but you still govern your decision, and as long as it is aligned with what is right, you will be rewarded.

 

[saved24]

I think she just wanted prayers, that is why she posted under the prayer section. But that's okay, she was only on April 27th and has not come back on.

 

[10101212]

well pot is certainly addictive. sure i havent known anyone to die from od but its a very tough addiction to break for many. sorry about your current situation, if your husband keeps it up your kids will be stoners too no doubt which sucks because it drains people of their drive in life.
one of the things i noticed from your post was that you mentioned being upset about weight gain. i can tell you that there is a way to get rid of weight without exercising or getting on any kind of crazy diet. when i quit drinking/pot last year i noticed i had all this energy so i started cleaning the hell out of my house. i mean i had no idea my kitchen cabinets were actually a bright white!!! lol anyway i cleaned and scrubbed and moved furniture around and thwer some away and brought in some new stuff and more than just that i found something (usually fairly strenuous) to do all the time and hustled around to stores on foot even if they were a mile away, and i went from 195 or so to 170 in the first few weeks then kind of settled at 165. mind you i wasnt trying to lose weight i just wanted to stay very active and use all my energy every day so i could sleep well at night because i had just quit two things that i pretty much needed to sleep. i didnt feel i needed to lose weight really but it just happens when you hustle. i did eat fairly healthy though, as i no longer had the munchies from weed i guess, lol, but i didnt have any special diet or make any fuss over my food. just thought id share as many people obsess when trying to lose weight when it can go away while your doing constructive things instead of being a mouse on a wheel at the gym. anyway thats my two cents, have a happy and constructive day, paul.

 

[Lilly Owl]

Call the cops and turn him in.

Sometimes Jail answers prayer. He's risking your kids health and yours smoking in the trailer. It's illegal, and you're all at risk for his behavior.
He's verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, and he comes from good stock. He is who he is. He's showing you that.

What means more to you? Your kids, or the pothead they call daddy?
He's the role model. Do you want them to grow up to be like him?

Leave! Find a place to go and let him know what his drug addiction is costing him. Then call the cops when you know he's got a new stash in the house and have him arrested.

Ask the DA to ask for drug counseling as part of his plea agreement. He's a preachers kid! He's not acting any better than this, what are you to do? Pray and wait? Pray! Absolutely. But get pro-active too.
You deserve better. If you don't know that, and he proves he doesn't believe it, what can you do but get active for your and your kids sake, or suffer what he thinks you deserve?

I'm a 41-year-old christian wife and mother of two young children. We attend a church of God where my husband's step-dad is the Associate Pastor, and his mom is the worship leader/piano player. He grew up as a preacher's kid, and everyone but him has said 'he's called to preach'. We have been married for nine years. We met at a River of Life church in Florida, but now we live in Arkansas. When I met him, he appeared to be a God-fearing christian, praising God with arms uplifted at the front of the church. I found out later he had a little brush with the law, but now the charges of burglary have been expunged. I should have seen the red flags when I met him, because the day we were to be married, he snapped at me, yelling and making me cry... but I married him anyway. He has had temper issues, but has never hit me. In our first year of marriage in Florida, he snuck around and smoked pot. He would hide it from me, and when I found out, he would apologize and say he would quit, but would always go back to it. Today, in Arkansas, after nine years of marriage, he still smokes, but with no shame, he does it right in front of me, and the kids, in the house, in the living room, while playing his xbox game, no matter how much I say "go outside" til I'm blue in the face. His response is "turn that fan on, open that window". He has no concept of "we're in a confined small mobile home, turning a fan on or opening a window will not remove all the toxins in the air". It's almost like he doesn't care. He had a job interview the other day, and drank some flush before it, but the next day, he was rolling one up and smoking all over again. Oh, and his 21 year old nephew is his new BFF, who smokes pot with him here in our house, plays xbox modern warfare games nonstop. I am a prisoner in my own home. I have to retreat to my bedroom, bathroom or kids room to escape the cigarrette and marijuana smoke. I know God will deliver him, but when? I'm so sick of waiting. He also deals pot some out of our home, and keeps his "small supply" in our kitchen cabinet by the fridge. No shame whatsoever. he laughs it off when I say something, or throws my weight gain in my face. That is not a good analogy at all. I gave birth to two children, and gained a significant amount of weight. Getting the weight off is a struggle, but to me, not a sin. He makes fat jokes. He says I am committing the sin of gluttony. I don't overeat, I just don't have an active exercise routine. I don't exercise at all, although I should. I want to leave, but trying to stay committed to the marriage. His family tell me to just pray and he'll change. I feel like he never will.

 

[Calvinator]

Wow. I wonder if the above poster would suggest having her own husband arrested if instead of smoking a bit of green, he was abusing Vicodin or something.

I'm pro marijuana for medical and recreational/relaxation use, but your husband is being very inconsiderate by smoking *anything* in your home. Especially the cigarettes, cigarette smoke does promote cancer, and nicotine is a proven cancer causing substance. Marijuana does not, but it is still inconsiderate to you and your kids.

Have you tried counseling? Is the issue that he smokes pot, or is the issue mainly that he smokes pot and tobacco in your living space?

 

[Chaplain David]

I'm a 41-year-old christian wife and mother of two young children. We attend a church of God where my husband's step-dad is the Associate Pastor, and his mom is the worship leader/piano player. He grew up as a preacher's kid, and everyone but him has said 'he's called to preach'. We have been married for nine years. We met at a River of Life church in Florida, but now we live in Arkansas. When I met him, he appeared to be a God-fearing christian, praising God with arms uplifted at the front of the church. I found out later he had a little brush with the law, but now the charges of burglary have been expunged. I should have seen the red flags when I met him, because the day we were to be married, he snapped at me, yelling and making me cry... but I married him anyway. He has had temper issues, but has never hit me. In our first year of marriage in Florida, he snuck around and smoked pot. He would hide it from me, and when I found out, he would apologize and say he would quit, but would always go back to it. Today, in Arkansas, after nine years of marriage, he still smokes, but with no shame, he does it right in front of me, and the kids, in the house, in the living room, while playing his xbox game, no matter how much I say "go outside" til I'm blue in the face. His response is "turn that fan on, open that window". He has no concept of "we're in a confined small mobile home, turning a fan on or opening a window will not remove all the toxins in the air". It's almost like he doesn't care. He had a job interview the other day, and drank some flush before it, but the next day, he was rolling one up and smoking all over again. Oh, and his 21 year old nephew is his new BFF, who smokes pot with him here in our house, plays xbox modern warfare games nonstop. I am a prisoner in my own home. I have to retreat to my bedroom, bathroom or kids room to escape the cigarrette and marijuana smoke. I know God will deliver him, but when? I'm so sick of waiting. He also deals pot some out of our home, and keeps his "small supply" in our kitchen cabinet by the fridge. No shame whatsoever. he laughs it off when I say something, or throws my weight gain in my face. That is not a good analogy at all. I gave birth to two children, and gained a significant amount of weight. Getting the weight off is a struggle, but to me, not a sin. He makes fat jokes. He says I am committing the sin of gluttony. I don't overeat, I just don't have an active exercise routine. I don't exercise at all, although I should. I want to leave, but trying to stay committed to the marriage. His family tell me to just pray and he'll change. I feel like he never will.

Hi,

It's hard to be at a marital impasse. I imagine this is even more difficult because of the illegalities that stem from the marijuana use and especially the dealing. You mentioned that he criticizes you because of your weight. Is this the first time he's abused you verbally or does he have a pattern of abusing you emotionally and/or verbally?

In my opinion whether or not marijuana should be used medically or legalized for social use is far outweighed by it being sold from your home. You mentioned that he stores his supplies there too. This is not the right environment for a home and especially for a home where there are children. Besides placing you in jeopardy in a legal sense it sets a terrible example for your kids.

My recommendation is that you talk with your husband about getting counseling and that you seek marital counseling from a licensed marital and family therapist (LMFT) who is a Christian.

You mentioned that his father is a pastor. I can't imagine him being ok with the marijuana use, abuse and dealing. Would he be a good person for both of you to talk to?

I think you realize that you both need help about this and the other problems in your marriage. I bet some of your frustration stems from your husband being oblivious to this, not leading the family spiritually, criticizing you instead of correcting his own actions, the illegalities in the situation, and the example he sets for your children.

I'm going to keep praying for you. I also hope that you and he can seek help to work out the problems in your marriage. God bless you, your husband and your kids.

Faithfully,
CH Sacerdote

 

[chilehed]

I suggest you start going to Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meetings, and take the suggestions that are given.

 

[triforceYOU]

Hello, I do not have time to read your entire post and frankly I don't have to in order to get my message across.

Marijuana is a sneak =y little plant of the devil. He clouds your mind and tells you "It's okay." He is a liar and will keep your husband in a lock. Your husband if not already will become financially incompetent concerning the right way to handle money. Your husband may become delusional and will be very easily influenced by whatever the enemy wishes to plant in his mind. His innermost desires will be tempting him day in and ady out and it may be the center of his experiences.

Marijuana is no joke nor is it anything good, nor is it medicine. You must understand that while away from God, the complacency is absolutely indescribable. EVERYTHING seems just Okay. And everything is made way for. That is why the world out there is so absolutely creative. Because they abide not by God's will, but by the will of the devourer who roams this earth. Getting out of his "addiction" ,which he will maybe never admit to, requires you only plant seeds. You must live a life of God, you yourself must live by the virtues that God has called you to, live by the example of Jesus Christ. You face a man under demonic influence. He is not himself or who he should be under God.

Please message me, I would very very much enjoy helping you and your husband. I have experience in his position.

Godbless.

 

[Logan Musil]

Heard great things about the settingcaptivesfree website ministry.
Blessings,
Logan