My husband lied to me

[Bumble Bee]

Husband is having a hard time with employment. It takes him forever to find a job, and then it is hard for him to keep a job. He has been wrongfully terminated twice in the last 6 months. It’s very stressful because my income alone doesn’t support our family of 4, let alone give us room to get a house with another bedroom when the baby comes.

I just found out last night that he was fired again. His supervisor made him leave work last week because he coughed, and wouldn’t let him in the building the next two scheduled shifts. Husband spoke to HR, where he was informed that due to missing 3 days of work, he was fired…. Despite that he had shown up and not been allowed to clock in.
At least that’s what he says. I now know that he has been lying to me all week… he told me he was just on a quarantine pending Covid results due to his supervisor saying he was sick (there’s a bunch of drama with that guy) and would be back at work Monday. He didn’t tell me until I was going to bed last night that he was fired for not working the shifts where his supervisor wouldn’t let him work.

Now I don’t know what to believe. Did he get fired when the supervisor first sent him home last week, and just pretend to go to work? Is it really just games that guy was playing like he has been all along? Is he just pretending that he was fired for missing those shifts when there is really another reason he doesn’t want to admit? What else has he lied to me about, and how can I find the whole truth and know that it’s the whole truth?

 

[Red Gold]

Something seems to be very wrong here.
But from afar I cannot make out what exaxtly it is that is wrong.

In any case: My best wishes to you!

 

[Michie]

Husband is having a hard time with employment. It takes him forever to find a job, and then it is hard for him to keep a job. He has been wrongfully terminated twice in the last 6 months. It’s very stressful because my income alone doesn’t support our family of 4, let alone give us room to get a house with another bedroom when the baby comes.

I just found out last night that he was fired again. His supervisor made him leave work last week because he coughed, and wouldn’t let him in the building the next two scheduled shifts. Husband spoke to HR, where he was informed that due to missing 3 days of work, he was fired…. Despite that he had shown up and not been allowed to clock in.
At least that’s what he says. I now know that he has been lying to me all week… he told me he was just on a quarantine pending Covid results due to his supervisor saying he was sick (there’s a bunch of drama with that guy) and would be back at work Monday. He didn’t tell me until I was going to bed last night that he was fired for not working the shifts where his supervisor wouldn’t let him work.

Now I don’t know what to believe. Did he get fired when the supervisor first sent him home last week, and just pretend to go to work? Is it really just games that guy was playing like he has been all along? Is he just pretending that he was fired for missing those shifts when there is really another reason he doesn’t want to admit? What else has he lied to me about, and how can I find the whole truth and know that it’s the whole truth?

I think there is a pattern here that is very odd. It might be time to have a heart to heart talk with your husband.

 

[Albion]

He may be embarrassed or unwilling to upset you with this bad news, and/or he's hoping to find another job before he has to admit what cost him the last one. If you cannot sit him down and have a heart-to-heart about it without there being harsh words cast in either direction, I don't know that there is an easy way to get to the bottom of it.

 

[tturt]

I would be careful about the timing of this conversation. Usually men have strong feelings about providing and protecting their families. Perhaps he lied because of his pride especially if it takes a long time to get a job. Has that been since covid?

Encourage you to talk with your pastor or call a Christian counselor.

 

[Bumble Bee]

I would be careful about the timing of this conversation. Usually men have strong feelings about providing and protecting their families. Perhaps he lied because of his pride especially if it takes a long time to get a job. Has that been since covid?

Encourage you to talk with your pastor or call a Christian counselor.

Yes since Covid. His company moved to temporary work at home, but decided they could make more by keeping the employees at home and renting out the vacant office. They sent him faulty equipment and wouldn’t replace it, and then when they did replace the equipment they messed up his technical leave so he ended up exceeding his absences, which meant he was no longer employed. Since then, he has been having trouble getting and keeping a job. He was at a construction company for a month, and then found out they were only keeping employees for 30 days and then letting them go rather than pay the promised sign on bonus and raise. After that he was at a food processing plant and was wrongfully terminated. He fought it through the union, and they came back and agreed that it was wrongful termination but that they were not going to reinstate him because he was within the 90 days probation. Now it was this last job at another food processing plant. He was the only one on his shift except the supervisor that speaks English, and the supervisor was harrassing him. He made a complaint to HR, and next thing he knows, he coughed once at work and got sent home “sick” under threat of a police escort if he wouldn’t leave, and then not allowed to return, and then HR says he didn’t show up all weekend. He told me he was waiting on a Covid result before he would be allowed back, but left out that they fired him.

 

[Trusting in Him]

This sounds like your husband may have been through a really bad time. He may be pretty mixed and even in denial. Don't make and hasty decisions at this stage. This may not be what you are thinking. I'm thinking that he might not be in a good place, with all this right now! He might be really needing some emotional support from you right now!

 

[pdudgeon]

Ok, let's start eliminating reasons for his firing.
First, if he coughed at work, the supervisor was within reason of sending him home. BUT that reason for sending him home should have been recorded by HR.
Secondly, he needs a clear report for NOT having covid from a doctor.
If he is still fired after presenting that report to his job, then he should file for unlawful firing, and a hostile workplace with the unemployment office.
He should note the days when he showed up for work, and was prohibited ( make sure to use that word) from clocking in at work.
That action right there shows three things:
1. He did report for work.
2. He had a clear covid report with him.
3. He was refused entry unlawfully, especially if he was NOT notified in writing of his firing.
Best wishes!!!

 

[seeking.IAM]

I think you are right to ask questions. I tend to run cynical, by nature. So maybe a person has one wrongful termination. A second wrongful termination arouses suspicion something else is in play beyond mere coincidence. My experience is that most employers currently are having a hard time finding and retaining employees. Many are keeping marginal employees they would be quick to separate from in other times. Many are forced to run with reduced work forces. I agree it would be a good to get a clear understanding of what is happening. Best wishes to you and your family.

 

[mama2one]

I think he's under lots of stress right now with another baby on the way plus throw in plans for another house/moving....add in job situations

baby #3 .....a big change coming

do you think it's all too much for him?


maybe it would be best to hold off moving?
put the kids together in a room for now?

 

[Trusting in Him]

I think he's under lots of stress right now with another baby on the way plus throw in plans for another house/moving....add in job situations

baby #3 .....a big change coming

do you think it's all too much for him?


maybe it would be best to hold off moving?
put the kids together in a room for now?

I think that this is a very sound suggestion, you and him also tend to talk each other through this, on a very regular basis. I think that he may be really hurting right now and does not know where to turn. Maybe, you need to be the strong one for now, because he does not currently know how to be the strong one in the family himself at this time.

Women are emotionally stronger than men in desparate times. That is the way that God has built women and it's not for nothing. Women are the glue, which holds families together when everything is falling apart around the family! Hang on in there girl and be strong, do not be fearful, for the Lord your God is with you!

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. (Joshua 1:9)

 

[Skye1300]

What concerns me is his pattern of losing jobs so quickly. It sounds like there's an underlying emotional issue that needs to be resolved. I would encourage him to seek counseling and get to the bottom of why he keeps losing jobs. Is he unconsciously sabotaging his work for some psychological reason? It's not normal to keep losing jobs like that.

 

[Bumble Bee]

He is on a waitlist for counseling