my husband got physically abusive

Depends on what your definition of abuse is. If he just pushed past you or pushed you away all the advice from above probably applies, but if he actually struck you and/or knocked you down, left a bruise/mark etc...call the police. THAT is the ultimate wake up call and they may or may not file charges, it won't be your choice at that point and if they do...a little time in the pokey might sober him up not to mention that the judge will make him go to anger management classes. Also talking to you pastor NOW couldn't hurt.

super mom said:

i do not feel any danger now and i don't think i really did and violence is violence if he hit me then he hit and if he threw something at me then he threw something at me so what it is all violence and the piont is i had to hide a mark on my cheek that thankfully dissappeared by the end of the day

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Well if your gonna stay your gonna stay. Nothing we can do about it. You kinda seem irritated at the advice you've been given....or maybe I'm reading your post wrong. In the end...it's you that will lay your head on the pillow at night, and live w/ your decisions.

super mom said:

i do not feel any danger now and i don't think i really did and violence is violence if he hit me then he hit and if he threw something at me then he threw something at me so what it is all violence and the piont is i had to hide a mark on my cheek that thankfully dissappeared by the end of the day

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Super Mom, I would like to share that when I was 19 I got married, and within a few months, my (then) husband became physically abusive to me. We lived fairly close to both our families, but they were not able to help during those times he chose to beat me. From reading the little bit you have posted here and in your journal, I would say that his activity is not going to stop. He is exhibiting some of the same tendencies my ex-husband exhibited during that time.

Aside from the beatings, he would go places and leave me a virtual prisoner in the home, he threatened me with my life (not saying your husband does that, I just want to share so that you see the pattern), he verbally abused me in public, and aside from my full-time job, I did all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. while he did nothing to help. After the first time he beat me, he was very repentant and promised that it wouldl never happen again, but it did, a few times. I got tired of living in fear, and after only a year and a half, I left the marriage.

I pray that your situation is different, that there is something salvagable in your marriage. May God bless you and give you the strength to do what you need to do to protect yourself and your child.

Well I for one am happy to hear that you are deeply concerned for saving your marriage.

I think what everyone else has said about leaving is important and valid. I know a lot of it comes from real situations that have happen and has devestated many homes.

But I think it's important to realize here also is that God can change any man at any time. And we know that this is the FIRST sign of abuse. And that is the second best time for your husband to change. The first best choice would have been earlier of course. But if the violence continues, its going to be a harder journey for him to change. He needs to change now, while the journey is still short.

So is he going to counselling?

It is difficult to answer these types of questions. Of course, we want to hope for people to change and learn from their mistakes. At the heart of the Christian message is the fact that no one is beyond God's help. I will pray for you and your husband.

Here is the thing though. If my daughter told me that her husband did something similar, my first concern would be for her safety. Only after her safety was assured, could I feel comforatble talking about any of the other issues.

I hope that you will continue to put your safety first. Please make sure that you get some counseling for the two of you and work on these issues.

Svt4Him said:

God is more concerned about you as a person than He is about you staying in your marriage.

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amen.