My girlfriend left me, I want to know how to pray about it. (Please read to understand)

[Dablain]

Good evening everyone. I wanted to post this in the married couples forum but it wont let me.
Here's the thing: my girlfriend just broke up with me after 7 years of relationship. We both are christians but we've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years now because I had to leave for college. At first She said she left me because I'm not a spiritual leader, I admit her faith is strong than mine, and she spend more time reading the Bible than I do. Now she said that God told her to leave me to Him, she said that I was first in her life and God second, and she had to break up with me to give God first place, and I must do the same thing too. What I don't understand is that she doesn't want me back,she says she still loves me but God she is not taking me back, she's not waiting for anyone, but she has to be ready if God gives hee another man, because if ahe loves God the way she supposes to, she will be able to love another man. And she aaid that she knows that God has a bettee woman for me. I wanna truat her, i tried too but none of thia makes since to me. I wanna let go but I can't. I still wanna think that she loves me but part of me thinks that maybe it's because I love her too much. I'd love to know what to do, if she's telling the truth, if I need to move on, and if so how to do that since I love her so much.
I desperately need help.

 

[paul becke]

You sound much too needy. Girls won't find that an attractive feature. My $0.002 for what it's worth. But why did you want to post it in the Married Couples forum ? 'Jumping the gun' like that sounds like presumption - not from arrogance, but pretty much the opposite : from fear of loss.

 

[Roseonathorn]

I do not know if this can be of any help but I will tell You a bit of my story. I met my husband when I still had to go abroad with a mission for half a year. We did discuss the topic porn and He said He had looked much at it and stopped looking because He wanted a wife. Now that signalled red warning to me but I was already in love. I did break it off once. And then He reassured me He was not going to watch. Promised even. That lasted 4 years. I did ask Him how He felt about us and really He was fine and not watching for about 4 years but later He did start watch again. And now He can not give any promise of faithfulness although we are married. It is as if His part does not count. And in the way the world sees it, many think it is ok. But well we had sex once last year and He is not a nice warm man. Not the man I met. I belive porn does that to a man. I do not know what You discussed about the topic porn but if You said that You are tempted by it I understand If she got cold feet and run. If a woman is to marry she do want to have sex more than once a year even after 10 years and she does not want her husband glued to the computer screen then satisfying himself there. This is todays common problem even among christians. When You are not allowed to have sex with Your girlfriend You want it and when You are allowed and You are married You dont want to because porn have ruined it all. Avoid porn and enjoy your life. The temtation is not wort it for Your future wife. I would suggest You to consider what is Your standingpoint and what is hers, is she into porn then that could also be the reason she acted as she did and then again know that it is not easy to live with someone that satisfies their sexual needs with porn. You basically become a housetaker and childraiser but stay empty and hurt and hav'nt got a spouse to share intimate things in life with. And forget about sex. If the spouse is watching porn He or she will not have sex with You, that is also very common. Rule nr 1 no wandering eye. Rule nr 2. Pray for your future wife.
Rule nr. 3 Let her find You. Be open but do not get known as the womanchaser.

 

[Dablain]

You sound much too needy. Girls won't find that an attractive feature. My $0.002 for what it's worth. But why did you want to post it in the Married Couples forum ? 'Jumping the gun' like that sounds like presumption - not from arrogance, but pretty much the opposite : from fear of loss.

Maybe I sound too much needy to you. Am I supposed to just let her go even though I don´t understand what´s going on? Anyway thanks for your help.

 

[Dablain]

I do not know if this can be of any help but I will tell You a bit of my story. I met my husband when I still had to go abroad with a mission for half a year. We did discuss the topic porn and He said He had looked much at it and stopped looking because He wanted a wife. Now that signalled red warning to me but I was already in love. I did break it off once. And then He reassured me He was not going to watch. Promised even. That lasted 4 years. I did ask Him how He felt about us and really He was fine and not watching for about 4 years but later He did start watch again. And now He can not give any promise of faithfulness although we are married. It is as if His part does not count. And in the way the world sees it, many think it is ok. But well we had sex once last year and He is not a nice warm man. Not the man I met. I belive porn does that to a man. I do not know what You discussed about the topic porn but if You said that You are tempted by it I understand If she got cold feet and run. If a woman is to marry she do want to have sex more than once a year even after 10 years and she does not want her husband glued to the computer screen then satisfying himself there. This is todays common problem even among christians. When You are not allowed to have sex with Your girlfriend You want it and when You are allowed and You are married You dont want to because porn have ruined it all. Avoid porn and enjoy your life. The temtation is not wort it for Your future wife. I would suggest You to consider what is Your standingpoint and what is hers, is she into porn then that could also be the reason she acted as she did and then again know that it is not easy to live with someone that satisfies their sexual needs with porn. You basically become a housetaker and childraiser but stay empty and hurt and hav'nt got a spouse to share intimate things in life with. And forget about sex. If the spouse is watching porn He or she will not have sex with You, that is also very common. Rule nr 1 no wandering eye. Rule nr 2. Pray for your future wife.
Rule nr. 3 Let her find You. Be open but do not get known as the womanchaser.

I think you replied to the wrong post.

 

[Robert Richborough]

Good evening everyone. I wanted to post this in the married couples forum but it wont let me.
Here's the thing: my girlfriend just broke up with me after 7 years of relationship. We both are christians but we've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years now because I had to leave for college. At first She said she left me because I'm not a spiritual leader, I admit her faith is strong than mine, and she spend more time reading the Bible than I do. Now she said that God told her to leave me to Him, she said that I was first in her life and God second, and she had to break up with me to give God first place, and I must do the same thing too. What I don't understand is that she doesn't want me back,she says she still loves me but God she is not taking me back, she's not waiting for anyone, but she has to be ready if God gives hee another man, because if ahe loves God the way she supposes to, she will be able to love another man. And she aaid that she knows that God has a bettee woman for me. I wanna truat her, i tried too but none of thia makes since to me. I wanna let go but I can't. I still wanna think that she loves me but part of me thinks that maybe it's because I love her too much. I'd love to know what to do, if she's telling the truth, if I need to move on, and if so how to do that since I love her so much.
I desperately need help.

No offence to her , but she is certain ? she has this grand mission from God ? alarm bells always ring in my head when God says to leave other Christians and people you love that its not God (could be) but often we like to think we are very special and have this mission from God, is not always the case.

 

[Robert Richborough]

You sound much too needy. Girls won't find that an attractive feature. My $0.002 for what it's worth. But why did you want to post it in the Married Couples forum ? 'Jumping the gun' like that sounds like presumption - not from arrogance, but pretty much the opposite : from fear of loss.

If she was on such a holy mission, I doubt she'd be casting a guy off as "Needy" and using God as an excuse, she owes him a good explanation.

 

[Roseonathorn]

Did I? Am I not allowed to post anything here? I had a situation once in my life where my husband was not yet my husband as well. I have also had a over the phone relationship with Him with only textmessages. I know how a woman can react when a man says He is into porn or tempted and I hope He gets His things sorted out with His girlfriend. He seems very sad right now.

 

[Truth Never Dies]

The OP didnt mention porn at all? the only person to mention porn was you..

 

[Roseonathorn]

My mom was also a poorly paid evangelist when she met dad, an divorced man who had tried to get His wife and kids back for months to no awail. He was a christian but the church wanted her to be a travelling evangelist rather than marrying. She decided to marry and quit travelling. Church can sometimes want to decide too much in peoples lives because the people that serve there could sometimes end up quitting or move away if they marry someone of their choice rather than of the churches choice.

 

[Roseonathorn]

OP does not quite understand why the girl " took off" after 7 years. Usually when that happens it is one of the common in christian ministry, porn, church does not approve of the relationship between the two or she has fallen out of love. She says she is not good enough for Him and I do not feel peace over it but perhaps it is the truth.

 

[Robert Richborough]

Dahblain can I ask has God told you anything about her decision ? what is it he says to you ? ask him why she is doing this, and ask him why she says these things, be careful to take it slow, and keep asking. What she could say may have truth, it may not though. Then once you get your answer from God, go with 100% faith to God, and humbly tell her what God tells you, remember she has freedom if she continues to go down the path she goes down even if you think it is not Gods will, that is her choice if God tells you to walk away walk away, but do so with 100% faith in God and you and your relationship, don't let her tell you her faith is stronger and therefor she is always right, but be gentle and humble in your response.

 

[paul becke]

If she was on such a holy mission, I doubt she'd be casting a guy off as "Needy" and using God as an excuse, she owes him a good explanation.

I'm inclined to agree with you. I like your post #12, too. However, as regards her personal motivation, I personally think it far more likely that she is using God as an excuse, in the belief that it would be letting him down gently ; she can avoid criticising him or saying that she has met someone else she prefers, as might be the case.

 

[rockytopva]

Father I pray blessings on this request and for the direction of this life in Jesus name I pray. Also taking these needs before God in prayer on the bbnradio.org Family Altar program... BBN Program Schedule

 

[Truth Never Dies]

Father I pray blessings on this request and for the direction of this life in Jesus name I pray. Also taking these needs before God in prayer on the bbnradio.org Family Altar program... BBN Program Schedule

must you constantly plug yort radio station?, looks really tacky to do it in prayer requests.