My GF struggles a lot with sexual desire - An unusual problem...

[LotsOfQuestions]

Hi, I'm quite new to this, and am very impressed with your dedication and ability to resist temptation like this!

I would definately suggest talking to her about it, and ensuring that she understands that you are serious. But also ensure that she knows that it does not make you love her, or be attracted to her any less.

I just wanted to say that there are so many other ways for you to share special time together and feel intimate without having to have sex. Things such as candle-lit baths and tissue-paper cut out hearts under the duvet for her to discover - not to mention massage and just presenting her with little suprises to keep the relationship interesting.

It sounds although your girlfriend would like to take the relationship to another level to prove her devotion and love to you - but you need to show her that that next step does not have to be sexual.

Good luck, you're already doing so well.

 

[Kembomani]

this is always a difficult situation. I agree with others the best you can do is try and limit the amount of close contact. There are others ways you can improve her confidence in herself. Complements is a start.

 

[xDenax]

It's to the point now that I really am starting to not be interested in dating at all, because I can't meet a christian girl who doesn't have problems in this area.

So..you want one that doesn't like sex and will never be intimate with you after you are married? I'm not seeing the problem here. She is a normal girl with normal feelings. It's not wrong to want to have sex with the person you love. Her hormones are working. That's a good thing! And I agree with BeyondAshes. If you want to marry her..then marry her and give her all the sex she wants. If you don't want to marry her then let her go so she can find someone who does. I firmly believe if you are going to be a couple who waits for marriage then you can't drag out your courtships. It's ridiculous. It's torturous and I don't think it leads to anything positive.

 

[leothelioness]

There is nothing unusual about this. Women are sexual creatures as well. Sexual desire is normal and should not be considered a problem.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Hi First off, I'm a girl...and I don't think that what you are describing is "unusual". Lol.

Does she have low self esteem? It sort of sounds like that she feels that if you aren't physical with her then you don't really love her or perhaps you find her unattractive. This often stems from an unhealthy self esteem. And if she has had sex in her past relationships, then that certainly could make it even more so. Does she struggle with jealousy?

I think we all have to work at managing our desires. Keeping up clear boundaries is important, and I commend you for being strong in all of this. Because it can't be easy for you to be put in these situations as well.