My Garbage Can

[Live4Jesus]

When I was first being saved, which was a very real experience... an experience... not just I walked into a church and got baptised... no actually I was given the Holy Spirit before I got baptised (omitting my catholic baptism here 'cause I do believe it was worthless) in water at a church...

But anyway.. I had all sorts of ideas about God, things I had learned growing up... things I had picked up along the way... mostly trash...

Trash i say... not because I let go of any of those ideas easily, no quite the opposite.. I held firm to them... because I knew nothing else... but then the Holy spirit started visiting me... I had decided one day finally, at about the age of 33... maybe 34... that I should answer this question that had been popping into my head for at least the previous 7 or 8 years, 'ask Jesus to teach you' it would whisper...

I had looked in so many books, read so much stuff,,, how could I get to God? So after all had failed thus far... because oh, I did believe in God, He had done a few things over my lifetime to me that left me in that state of no return, probably beginning at the age of 17 even... by the time I was 23-24 I did believe for sure for sure... I just couldn't get to the place where I could relate to Him...

One thing I had never really done, believe it or not, was read the bible... I read everything but that... I did have one christian friend a good few years who was teaching me a little bit... one day I got a bible a KJV... the next week I got down on my knees and I prayed.. 'Jesus please teach me'... I probably prayed all day... asking asking...

It was that evening or the very next day, he literally showed up... I couldn't see him but he was undoubtedly there, if not him someone invisible and awesome... like to shake the house with this invisible presence. of love and grace and peace.... I thought, and still do, that it was Jesus...there were angels too I am pretty sure.. he would say a couple little things to me while I was falling asleep... just a couple things I heard, like he was right next to me talking in my ear.. One thing He said was "I am going to teach you about evil."

No kidding he said that... I was had been involved in a lot of bad stuff I guess and He wanted to free me of it... and I think in order to do that he had to break it down and let me see it the way he saw it... for instance there were spirits around me that were not good, he let them attack me more than a few times... physical things would happen to me... marks on my body etc, one time I was like paralyzed in bed no kidding I could not move all day... really really wierd... He wanted me to know that this was not a joke, not a fairy tale, and that these things were very evil and very real... I finally got the message it took a good several weeks for me to get it though, during which time it was very confusing for me.. God, the devil... which who what? I was really dumb. I even on one day started yelling up at the sky telling God to leave me alone, it was all too much... but everywhere I went it was like He was there I knew he was there it felt... like about 7-8 feet above me everywhere I went... so strange... I said to Him, Everywhere I go there you are... I can't live like this!

Now keep in mind I had never really read the bible all my life, only as a kid I had read a childrens bible... I had just bought one yea, but had hardly gotten into it... when all this happened.. so I made a lot of mistakes, that if I had knew how to follow from the word I probably would not have made....

But He was starting to work here nonetheless, and I guess I was probably more like a wild animal than anything, regardless of my ivy league education,, in Jesus' presence I felt like an animal compared to him, because He is really something He is... like Life itself walking... I dont have words for it...

So finally I get the message that there are evil spirit tempting me daily.. Ok I get to the place where I can sort of discern them, and not listen... but the biggest problem of all.. for someone like me was my education... all the philosophy and ethics and stuff that I had learned... all that stuff would make me actually argue with God... Jesus.. I was so rational or so I thought.. so smart...

One day I hear Jesus say in my ear... I am going to get a garbage can... He was also working with me in my dreams at this point.. show me stuff.. say stuff.. so i would know later if something came up I had reference... and also to know that it really was him... some amazing stuff He did... I was healed of everything that had ever ailed me... on that first day I will never forget... how light and wonderful and free I felt, like God had touched me and I was brand new...

Anyway, the garbage can... he says I am going to get a garbage can,,, and this is in the night, I am lying in bed trying so hard to sleep. I have a litlle kid now, a a baby in the house... and theres all this yakkity yak going on in my brain, like my mind is racing but half the time the thoughts are not my own... maybe some of it was Jesus yea,, but for sure a lot of it was the devil....who did try to play God as well... hes not real good at it though, he has a hard time sticking to being that guy you read about in the bible,,, he the devil, runs off course expecting you to follow him, but I didn't not too much... but I would talk back to it now and then... and sometimes it would say stuff (sounds schizo, probably close But I was otherwise in control just these stupid voices, thoughts, never had 'em before either not like that anyway) that was absolutely hilarious or so I thought and I would think it was Jesus,,, then I would hear Jesus in there... saying uh uh garbage can... and this went on for a couple days at night... the stupid voices, my educated answers, the devil butting in... then uh uh garbage can... and he would make like this little picture in my head kerplunk that idea in the garbage can it would go... till finally I got to where I knew which voice he (Jesus) was in there (because how can the Holy spirit get into an unclean person, which I was very much so, and that person hear him?) and then afterwhile, a few weeks I wake up one morn, i hear his voice and he says 'I am going to excorcise you today." No kidding. Excor what?

It was the strangest experience of my life, but it was incredible... I could literally feel stuff being pulled out of my head (I had had a stuffy head sort of for years, y'know, just felt stuffy sometimes, that got rid of it forever BTW) out of my abdomen, he everywhere... he worked and worked with me, i was trying all the time to be obedient, just sometimes would listen to the wrong voice, maybe my own ideas.... and but it was His plan for me to listen to him.... so that went on quite a while the excorcising stuff.... off and on... few weeks at least.

At some point I was pretty clean and pretty clear headed. one day standing in the back of a church, a little church of God down in FL I lived in Florida at the time... this great big wind started coming at me and entered me via my mouth real strange believe me... but apparently not strange in this church not a single person blinked...and it was loud, quite apparent... and then I heard in my ear... The Holy Spirit... thats all he said... and after that wow do I have life or what? I was never the same after that... and it is for real he has been here now close to seven years maybe a tad longer... and I am never short of breath oh no far from it... like He BREATHS for me this awesome full lifegiving breath...deep... not natural, up from the belly he will toss even hiccups! I do not get hiccups anymore, well I get one then whooosh out it goes... I mean no kidding that IS the Holy spirit that is how he is here anyway I know there are other gifts, but what He did here... its undeniable, and daily proving hes still here,,, I am never sick but for a sniflfle or little headache now and then probably my own doing,,, and especialy he gets going at church and stuff, its true the Holy spirit is a person... he takes you, he leads you, you have to be open to listening to him, he isn't going to fight, he'll just sit there quiet on days when I am moving the wrong way,,,, then of course i miss him, so I learn a lot from trial and error I guess... but so much stuff he did.. perfect to whats written in the bible BTW Gods perfect word,..., He has never veered from the word... and when He wants to be real awesome He can... he is God on that level... He has literally protected me like a shield around me one time a bottle exploded in a fire I was burning (some stuff out a shed) I was about 4 feet from it, I felt the glass go right around me not even a scratch,,, he protects my daughter too.. not sure hes in ther like that yet though... plus all the stuff I don't see... no spirits round here no more thats a fact, this house is so quiet!

The most important thing being that what held me back the most, was everything I had learned previously to being shown myself the way he sees me... including what was in me that I had no clue about previously... all that learned stuff I had to put it behind in order to move forward with him... because there is absolutely no way I could have predicted what or how he would do or teach me the things he did... and all my hard earned preconcieved ideas were nothing but a major stumbling block to getting right with God.

I had to throw them away and just look to Jesus... and have faith. Using only the bible as my roadmap. That the way he asked me to be with him. Just look to me, the bible is your roadmap He said. And he has proven Himself over and over agian here, perfect, the living word. The living God.

 

[SpiritPsalmist]

Live4Jesus,

You have a unique way of expressing what the Holy Spirit does in you. I enjoyed reading your testimony very much.

It reminds me of an old song that was recorded by 2nd Chapter of Acts . . .one line in the song said: you can go to your college, you can go to your schools, but if you ain't got Jesus, you're an educated fool.

How true. I have heard many well educated people say pretty much the same as you. Education is not bad, but when the education keeps one from receiving what the Bible teaches, it is worthless.

Thanks for sharing.

Quaffer

 

[SpiritPsalmist]

 I think I'll be remembering the garbage can for some time. . .I know I have stuff to put in it. 

 

[Live4Jesus]

Its really hard to put into words at all what He did here... it goes far against most of everything I was ever taught by the world...

Probably why Jesus says, 'if you want to follow me then give away/give up everything you've got..'

Everything. Not just the physical objects, the ideas too...

Hes a real good rebuilder... the best even.

 

[sbbqb7n16]

This is a song that came to mind when I read your post...

KNOWING YOU (ALL I ONCE HELD DEAR)
All I once held dear, built my life upon,
all this world reveres and wars to own.
All I once thought gain I have counted loss,
spent and worthless now compared to this.
Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You,
there is no greater thing.
You're my all,You're the best,You're my joy, my righteousness,
and I love You Lord.
Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
to be found in You, and known as Yours.
To possess by faith what I could not earn,
all surpassing gift of righteousness
Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You,
there is no greater thing,
You're my all,You're the best,You're my joy, my righteousness,
and I love You Lord.
Oh, to know the power of Your risen life
and to know You in Your sufferings.
To become like You in Your death, my Lord,
so with You to live and never die,
Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You,
there is no greater thing,
You're my all,You're the best,You're my joy, my righteousness,
and I love You Lord.

 

[SpiritPsalmist]

 Live4Jesus,

I think you said everything just fine.  It's difficult to be "religiously correct" when you've had such a profound experience with the Holy Spirit. 

He's offended my mind several times.  I don't understand why we have such a difficult time with that when we see Jesus being offinsive to the mind all throughout the Gospels. 

Here's a prophetic word that was written in the syllibus for a Worship seminar by Kent Henry that I attended.  I think you will enjoy it.

Be blessed!

PS it's on my next post, it was too long. 

 

 

[SpiritPsalmist]

The Eye of the Needle/The Gate of Worship



I stood among the sons of men, strong and tall. My heart was filled with enthusiasm. My life was given to the purposes of God.

Upon that day, I said to the Lord, “I will do mighty exploits in the name of my God.” The Lord came unto me and He said, “What is it, son of man, that thou wouldst have?” I said, “Lord, if I could only be among those who play sweetly upon an instrument and who sing well in the house of the Lord, then I would do great things for my God.”

The Lord came to me and He gave unto me the desire of my heart. He stood me among the sons of men. He let me play and He let me sing. I saw the day when the hearts of men were moved by that thing that the Lord had given unto me. After hearts of men were moved, I stood back and I said to myself, “Now I will be content for I have been able to move the hearts of men.” But in my secret hour I bowed my head before my God and said, “Lord, Thou hast given me what I asked for but my heart is heavy. I have a longing for something more.”

He came again unto me in the night season. He asked me again, “Son of man, ask Me again the thing that thou wouldst have of Me.” I said, “Lord, I see men bowed by burdens low. I see hearts that are broken. I see sadness and discouragement . Oh, give me the power of the spoken word that I might speak the word and their hearts will be delivered.” The Lord came unto me and said, “Son of man, I have given thee the things which thou hast desired.” With great joy, I marched before the people of God.

In my youth and in my enthusiasm, I spoke the Word and men were delivered. I spoke the Word and their hearts were made whole. I knew what was to bind the broken hearted and to pour in the oil of joy for mourning. While men were praising Him and glorifying His name, I went back to my secret chamber. I bowed my head in sorrow. I said, “Oh, my God, my God. I am not satisfied.” He came again unto me and He said, “Son of man, what is it that thou again desireth of Me?” And I said, “Oh my God, give me power in my hands that as Thou didst do, I might lay my hands upon the sick and see healing flow.” He said unto me, “It is done as thou has commanded.”

God healed the sick. I went to the nations of the earth and I saw the sick raised from their sick beds. I saw pain and suffering go away. I was rejoicing as I went to my secret place. I bowed my head before my God. I said, “Now, my God, I will be satisfied for Thou hast given me that which I have desired.” No sooner had the words come out of my mouth when the heart within me began to ache and cry. I said, “God, I do not understand this. Again my heart is sad.” I said, “Lord, will Thou just one more time give me the thing I ask of Thee?”

He said, “It is done.” I said, “God, I desire to go against principalities and powers, the powers of the wickedness of this world and spiritual darkness in high places.” He said, “Surely I give it unto thee. Now go.” So I went and the Lord allowed me to go into dens of iniquity and holes and dives where men hide from the light because of the sin and evil that is upon them. There was a day when I saw demons cry out at the very presence of the power of God that rested.

Then I went back to my secret place broken. I said, “God, I have asked Thee for all that I desire and still my heart is not satisfied. Nor do I feel that I have touched the thing that Thou hast called me to. In my youth I had expended myself with all the things that my heart had desired.”

Then one more time a gracious and loving God visited me in the night season. He said, “Now – what is it that thou dost desire?” In brokenness of heart, I bowed before Him and said, “God, only that thing which Thou dost desire to give unto me.”

He came unto me and said, “Come with Me and I will take you on a journey.” He took me past my friends. H took me past those with whom I had come into the house of the Lord. He took me into a desolate place. He caused me to go into a place alone in the wilderness. I said, “Oh my God, Thou hast cut me off from those I love. What art Thou doing unto me?” He said, “I take thee to the place where all men must come if their heart’s-cry is to be fulfilled.”

At a certain hour, I bowed before a gate that is called, “The Eye of the Needle.” There before the Eye of the Needle I heard the voice of the Lord say, “Bow low.” I bowed low. He said, “No, lower.” So I bowed lower. He said, “Yet lower. Thou dost not go low enough.” So I went as low as I could go.

But I had upon my back my books of learning. I had with me my instruments of music. I had with me my gifts and abilities. He said unto me, “Thou hast too much, thou canst not go through this gate.” I said, “God, Thou hast given me these books. Thou hast given me these abilities.” He said, “Drop them, or thou dost not go.” So I dropped them. I went through a very small gate that is called “the eye of the needle.” As I went through this gate, I heard the voice of the Lord say, “Now rise to the other side.” As I rose, a very strange thing happened to me. For lo, the gate which was so small that I must lay aside everything was so wide I could not fill it. As I stood in the presence of the Lord I said, “God, what is this thing that Thou hast done unto me for my soul is now satisfied

He said, “Thou hast come through the gate of worship. Now come up to the circle of the earth and I will show thee a great mystery. I will reveal unto thee the thing that I am doing among the sons of men.” The Spirit of the Lord caught me away. He took me to the circle of the earth, higher than the eagle flies, beyond where the clouds can rumble, beyond where the sun shines or the moon finds her path. There at the throne of my God, He said, “Look down upon My people.”

I saw strange things. I saw my companions gathered around a very small gates. I saw them wringing their hands and crying. They were saying to one another, “God hath given us these instruments of war. This sword is my sword and I will work against the enemy. I will bring the enemy down. I cannot go through this gated, for, if I go through this gated, I must put down my sword. God had called me to be a warrior and therefore, I will not do it!”

And I heard another one say, “Me? Lay down my instruments of music? Lay down all that God has given unto me, just to go through that silly little gate, to be nothing but a bare man who comes out on the other side stripped of everything? I cannot do this thing!” I saw them as they stood aside in their pride, afraid to bow themselves before a very small gate. Then I saw again, as the Lord brought me closer to the gate, I saw a man bow low, laying down everything that he had. As he came through the very wide gate on the other side, his instruments of music were there. His sword was there. His books were there. The power was there.

The Word of the Lord came to me, “Go now and tell this people before you, I have given unto this people extreme talents and much ability. I have called you who are instrumentalist to play. But I say unto you this night, if you do not come through the very small gated, which is the gate of worship, and bow low and lay before Me thine instruments, thy talents, thy ability, thy vision and thy power, thou shalt always be among those who will only be able to minister to the hearts of men and bless the hearts of men. But there is a gate open in the Church in this hour which is a very small gate. Through that gate only men who are worshippers will go. These men will lay their talents before their God. These men will say, ‘God, we will be worshippers.’ Through that wide gate they will come, and as they come through that wide gate - hear again the Word of the Lord – they will arise again on the other side, not to minister unto men, but to minister unto their God.

“I have brought this people together this night to make unto you a choice. You can minister unto men and I will cause you to sway the hearts of men with your talent. Or, you can go through a very small gate and while making new worshippers, you will minister unto the King.”

 

[ZiSunka]

I had a lot of stuff to throw away, too, and after 14 years, I still find things to put in the trash can every now and then.

 

[Blade]

Wow that was GREAT. Thank you.. I think God is so simple. My mom just told me a dream she had where she was in this house with all this garbage. And the lord told her lets go. She keep saying I need to take this garbage. The lord said don't worry about it someone else will clean it up.

 

[Live4Jesus]

Nice words you guys...

One really important thing to get rid of was television... I was never a real tv freak to begin with... so that was an easy thing here... but like at my parents house it'll blast all day... a lot of people live like that... Tv... the profanity, the lewdness, the stupidty, even on commercials... the visuals... all that stuff gets kind of recorded in your brain... and of top of that, its not an atmosphere thats inviting to God.

We don't watch tv here... my daughter has a movie pass, she can watch some stuff on vcr... we watch teaching tapes and stuff like that... but no cable, and even no local stations...

so that we don't have to listen to reruns in our heads later... and so that nothing will pop up out of the blue to offend Him.

We like having Jesus here. So no tv.

 

[Terri]

Thanks for sharing Live4Jesus!  God has certainly had his hand on you. 

God mostly speaks to me through His Word.  The only time he ever spoke directly to me was when I was about to commit suicide.

 

[Live4Jesus]

um hmm..yep been there too....

its the devil talking don't you think? tempting you to do that? To destroy the work that the Lord would complete in you?

 

[Terri]

Originally posted by Live4Jesus
um hmm..yep been there too....

its the devil talking don't you think? tempting you to do that? To destroy the work that the Lord would complete in you?

 

Definitely the devil!

I knew the Lord, but I knew absolutely nothing about spiritual warfare--almost cost me my life.

Praise God-- after that he showed me how to use the Sword of The Spirit.  Wow what a difference!

 

 

[Live4Jesus]

Originally posted by Terri
 

Definitely the devil!

I knew the Lord, but I knew absolutely nothing about spiritual warfare--almost cost me my life.

Praise God-- after that he showed me how to use the Sword of The Spirit.  Wow what a difference!

 

Me too exactly! ... use the word.. straight from the bible, the devil flees from it... it's when you bend and twist the word, man I noticed that... he'll sit there and get you going all day only to a destructive end... stick to the bible it is a sword indeed...

I know why too BTW, becauuse God WILL back up and uphold his word, He won't do that for any principles but His own... gotta walk with Him, He isn't real inclined to follow after me and my ideas I will guarantee you that, more likely to show me the vain ends of them is all... even if that means I get a little hurt just to be sure I don't walk my way that direction again,, He has done it to me... chastening, I do appreciate it lots. Sounds like you went through that too and came out listening real good at the end as well.... His way is the best... I try to keep up!!!

 

[Live4Jesus]

KNOWING YOU (ALL I ONCE HELD DEAR)
All I once held dear, built my life upon,
all this world reveres and wars to own.
All I once thought gain I have counted loss,
spent and worthless now compared to this.
Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You,
there is no greater thing.
You're my all,You're the best,You're my joy, my righteousness,
and I love You Lord.
Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
to be found in You, and known as Yours.
To possess by faith what I could not earn,
all surpassing gift of righteousness
Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You,
there is no greater thing,
You're my all,You're the best,You're my joy, my righteousness,
and I love You Lord.
Oh, to know the power of Your risen life
and to know You in Your sufferings.
To become like You in Your death, my Lord,
so with You to live and never die,
Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You,
there is no greater thing,
You're my all,You're the best,You're my joy, my righteousness,
and I love You Lord.

I swiped that from sbbqb7n16 it was too pretty to let die.

And Quaffer! What is it you Know?!

That is something that is right on. I need to print that for my daughter when she's older. I should keep a little book of really nice stuff like that I was thinking... for the grandkids yet to come...

 

[Andrew]

wow, getting rid of the TV. that;s a tough one for me. not that I'm a TV addict. but I know what you mean. a lot of time, when I plonk myself down to watch the TV, i end up wasting a lot of time and just watching stupid programmes that glorify worldly things like sex, adultery etc. and sometimes I'm stumbled.

but i wont get rid of the TV cos i believe it can be a blessing eg watchin teaching tapes, VCDs of my Pastors sermons, Christian movies like 10 Commandments, Benhur etc. Also, I like a good movie once in a while.

What I did get rid off after my old self died were all these Harley posters i had in my office. one day, i just got up, ripped them all off the wall and into the bin. I also sold my Harley -- something i really treasured and 'worshipped'! (part of the reason being i needed the money to get married too -- another thing which God showed me to do -- ie grow up take responsibility and stop making use of people).

i also gave up on worldy music and gave all my pop music CDs away. God then introduced me to Hillsongs, and then a church that likes to sing Hillsong songs.

I dont quite believe in giving this and that up to be more holy -- cos then it becomes a religious/everything-is-dirty thing. i believe its more like when God comes in more and more, those desires for those things just die, and so you want to give them up. not becos you HAVE TO.

 

[Caedmon]

Originally posted by Andrew
What I did get rid off after my old self died were all these Harley posters i had in my office. one day, i just got up, ripped them all off the wall and into the bin. I also sold my Harley -- something i really treasured and 'worshipped'! (part of the reason being i needed the money to get married too -- another thing which God showed me to do -- ie grow up take responsibility and stop making use of people).

You DO know that that's sacrilege, don't you?

I dont quite believe in giving this and that up to be more holy -- cos then it becomes a religious/everything-is-dirty thing. i believe its more like when God comes in more and more, those desires for those things just die, and so you want to give them up. not becos you HAVE TO.

Exactly... I don't want someone walking up to me and saying, "If you don't get rid of that rock & roll, you're not a good Christian!", or, "If you don't stop playing those videogames, you're NOT a Christian!".

Oh weh...

 

[Live4Jesus]

Originally posted by humblejoe


You DO know that that's sacrilege, don't you?



Exactly... I don't want someone walking up to me and saying, "If you don't get rid of that rock & roll, you're not a good Christian!", or, "If you don't stop playing those videogames, you're NOT a Christian!".

Oh weh...

When I got saved, one thing He asked was that i either sell or give away all my new wave cdroms. I had hundreds, literally. I think about 250+- some.

Some I sold for the money, some I gave away, and others He actually told me to throw in the garbage that they weren't fit for human consumption period.

We just listen to Christian music now, we like it better anyway. Makes us feel good inside and out and if there are any of God's angels hanging round, well maybe they're groovin too..