my fiance deleted his facebook account...should I be concerned?

[Javanwarbler]

My fiance knows a lot of people and has a lot of friends, both male and female but more female than male. He liked to keep in touch via facebook and email and had a FB account since it started. But partly because of me asking who certain women were that posted to him and then because he said he didn't really need facebook, my fiance recently deleted his account. He said it was just easier to do that and it wasn't all that important to him and that his life doesn't revolve around it.
I don't think he should have done that because I'm afraid he may regret it later or say to people he got rid of it because of a 'naggy' spouse to be wondering who so and so is. I feel he didn't need to make such a sweeping action as to getting rid of the whole thing.

Anyway, I would value people's input here about the situation and if I should be concerned or not of something wrong here or hidden going on. I'm naturally a pretty insecure person as it is and I definitely need to work on that within myself but I'd like some objective insight!

 

[tacdon]

Who knows why he deleted it. Maybe, he was flirting with some of the women on there and decided he needed to stop.

 

[SiyoNqoba]

I think he probably deleted his account because he felt he didn't need it anymore. His life doesn't revolve around Facebook, and he just found it easier to delete it. Just like he said.

Why are you worried about it? Has he proven himself to be untrustworthy?

Honestly, Facebook isn't really that big a deal. People delete their Facebook accounts all the time. If he regrets deleting it, he can reactivate his account. That happens all the time too. People aren't going to think it's because you were nagging him, they're not even going to give it a second thought.

I'm glad you've acknowledged that you struggle with insecurity. If I may be so bold, that's what is glaringly obvious here. Your fiance loves you, and I could be wrong, but there really doesn't seem like you have to worry about him deleting his Facebook

 

[Javanwarbler]

Who knows why he deleted it. Maybe, he was flirting with some of the women on there and decided he needed to stop.

Hopefully no flirting going on but yeah, there could be any reason! The good thing would be him recognizing something like flirting could hurt our relationship

 

[Javanwarbler]

I think he probably deleted his account because he felt he didn't need it anymore. His life doesn't revolve around Facebook, and he just found it easier to delete it. Just like he said.
yeah, this is what i'm hoping for and that he won't regret it later!

Why are you worried about it? Has he proven himself to be untrustworthy?

So far I dont' think so. I haven't seen any evidence. Though he is a bit of a ladies man and quite flirty in nature. He calls virtually all women he meets and are his friends 'honey' and 'baby.' He also had an inappropriate picture of him in an album with his arm around a classmate lady (he went to his high school reunion last summer) and his hand was quite near her chest. One of his facebook friends even made a comment about it like 'whoa there dude!"

Honestly, Facebook isn't really that big a deal. People delete their Facebook accounts all the time. If he regrets deleting it, he can reactivate his account. That happens all the time too. People aren't going to think it's because you were nagging him, they're not even going to give it a second thought.
I was wondering how easy it is to reactivate it. I would imagine he'd have to start all over friending 200+ people again! I just thought his friends would ask him because he just deleted it just like that and I'm pretty sure he said he was on facebook since it started some years ago. So he's a longtime member
I'm glad you've acknowledged that you struggle with insecurity. If I may be so bold, that's what is glaringly obvious here. Your fiance loves you, and I could be wrong, but there really doesn't seem like you have to worry about him deleting his Facebook

He does and tells me every day several times! He knows I've gotten some of my insecurities from past relationships with the guy 'looking for better fruit' and then me getting dumped.

Thank you for your input here, Siyo! It has helped me gain some needed healthy prospective about it and reminded me to again look at what i can change in myself!

 

[akmom]

The biggest problem with deleting a Facebook account is all the photos and tags that you lose. I won't let my husband delete his simply because I like to be able to run a search for photos of him when I need one. I make a lot of photo collages for relatives, and it's way easier than sifting through every album. Plus it's like my final backup for photos. I'd be upset about a deleted Facebook account for that reason alone!

 

[JojotheBeloved]

Facebook is not that relevant to a lot of people. My fiancé hasn't used his FB in almost a year. He should probably delete it. As to your fiancé, I wouldn't worry about it. Guys are typically pretty blunt about their motives. If he told you he didn't care about it anymore, than he probably doesn't care about it anymore. If he had female friends and knows you're insecure about that, than he probably did not delete it to hide something from you - it is more likely that if that has anything to do with his motives at all, that he probably deleted it so as to stop letting those other women be as privy to his life so as to give you more prerogative, maybe in the hope that you could be more secure in your relationship with him. But more than likely, it's just the reason he said it was and you're probably blowing things out of proportion in your head.

 

[Nikki103]

I think it's a positive thing that he deleted it. Social Media can often be toxic in a relationship. If there was something going on through FB that made him uncomfortable, it's a good sign that he got rid of it and is casting that away. I wouldn't worry about him thinking you are naggy. I think a lot of women deal with the same insecurities and if he has any male friends who are married, they are surely experiencing it too.

 

[Ken Rank]

Who knows why he deleted it. Maybe, he was flirting with some of the women on there and decided he needed to stop.

Why even float that idea? It is just as possible this is a stand up guy who realized that there is more to life than Facebook and if the woman he loves and wants to marry was uncomfortable with all the female friends, it was for the better. I would lean there instead of assume the worst in somebody.

 

[SeventyTimes7]

My fiance knows a lot of people and has a lot of friends, both male and female but more female than male. He liked to keep in touch via facebook and email and had a FB account since it started. But partly because of me asking who certain women were that posted to him and then because he said he didn't really need facebook, my fiance recently deleted his account. He said it was just easier to do that and it wasn't all that important to him and that his life doesn't revolve around it.
I don't think he should have done that because I'm afraid he may regret it later or say to people he got rid of it because of a 'naggy' spouse to be wondering who so and so is. I feel he didn't need to make such a sweeping action as to getting rid of the whole thing.

Anyway, I would value people's input here about the situation and if I should be concerned or not of something wrong here or hidden going on. I'm naturally a pretty insecure person as it is and I definitely need to work on that within myself but I'd like some objective insight!

I am a male in a long distance relationship.
Facebook has always been a problem I must be honest, also in my relationship, but in my case the one with many contacts was my girlfriend and there were also men poking her with sexy comments, so I must be honest I got crazy a couple of times because of this.
The funny thing was which my girlfriend wanted to force me to erase facebook while she could keep to have her hundreds of men on facebook.
There was a day which I've erased my facebook cause her mom got a tumor and I didn't want to fight anymore for facebook cause of feeling sad to look at comments of other men on her FB and to concentrate only on her needs. With the time my girlfriend started also to respect me, and to put high privacy on facebook and to cast away pervert friends or disrespectful one.
Now we deal well with it as long as we respect each other our needs and as long as we don't allow other people to enter in our relationship to ruin it.
I believe which you can use facebook and also your partner, but disturbing people should be cast away from contacts of both.
Then if the partner is disrespectful he/she can be disrespectful also without facebook.

 

[Deidre32]

Why even float that idea? It is just as possible this is a stand up guy who realized that there is more to life than Facebook and if the woman he loves and wants to marry was uncomfortable with all the female friends, it was for the better. I would lean there instead of assume the worst in somebody.

This!!

I wouldn't worry about it, although I can see why you are. I just got engaged last night, to a former flame and we both have the same friends, pretty much. But, FB has the propensity to cause problems, so maybe he just felt it was time to let it go. Maybe discuss it with him, let him know your feelings as you are telling us.