Hello beautiful,
This sounds like a complicated and confusing situation which you are in. I just want you to know that Jesus Christ absolutely loves you. In all of your struggles, confusions and doubts, He is with you. He is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6).
“Jesus said, "I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. No one gets to the Father apart from me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him. You've even seen him”
- John 14:6-7 (MSG)
Did you know that in the quran, only Jesus Christ is a miracle worker and healer? – He stands out as unique. Not even mohammad could do the miracles which Jesus Christ could, and why? – Because, as recorded accurately in The Bible, Jesus Christ is God and exists at the very heart of God, and therefore He is able to perform miracles by the power of God. He stands out as unique.
I recently read a book called ‘The Torn Veil’, which is about a girl who followed islam closely and who really believed in the quran. She was a cripple, and went to Mecca, fully expectant that allah was going to heal her – but she was not healed. It was some time after this, that she found herself, for the first time in her life, praying honestly; not with the set prayers of islam, but praying personally to God – This led to her having a miraculous vision of Jesus Christ, in which He healed her and told her that He was God. She discovered her passion was Jesus – that He offers a personal relationship which islam cannot. Only Jesus Christ can really, truly satisfy the soul.
Also, The Bible tells us to guard our hearts:
“Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.”
- Proverbs 4:23 (AMP)
I heard an amazing talk at Church once which spoke about how we need to be careful what we surround ourselves with – because the things which we watch and listen to and read, affect our perceptions and emotions (Matthew 6:22-23 speaks about our eye being a light to our body).
Now, the enemy has never had an original idea in his entire existence. What the enemy often does is this – he takes the beautiful, gracious, amazing truths of God, and he twists them, or tries to get us to add to them, or take away from them in our minds, to distract us from the truth and to take us away from the amazing revelation of the grace and the love of God through Jesus Christ, Who is the glory of God. The enemy is a liar and a thief, and seeks to devour us Christians, and “pull the wool over our eyes” because he hates that we can have a personal relationship with God. the enemy hates that God wants to lavish His love onto us and create us in a pure heart through Jesus Christ. he is jealous that we, God’s heirs, are His masterpieces, created anew in Christ Jesuss.
“Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.
8Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour.”
- Peter 5:7-8 (AMP)
The Bible also tells us that the enemy is “the father of lies”. Therefore, we need to guard our hearts from that which is not the truth.
What I am saying is that the enemy has set out to deceive us through things such as the quran, by trying to imitate the beautiful truths of God (which are recorded in The Holy Bible), which the heart responds to and longs for. Did you know that The Bible says that the enemy can appear as an angel of light? – “And it is no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light” – 2 Corinthians 11:14 (AMP).
So if you wonder why you feel this strange attraction to islam, that is why. The enemy likes to appear as an ‘angel of light’, but he isn’t one, as you know. Only Jesus Christ has a heart of light, grace, love and truth. Only Jesus Christ is holy, holy, holy purity and perfection.
The enemy is also probably working overtime to try and hide the heart of The Bible, and the spiritual truths contained in The Bible, from you. Keep praying and asking The Holy Spirit to breathe life onto His Word for you, so that you can have a revelation of the heart of it. Remember, God’s Truth are spiritual, so they are understood as The Holy Spirit reveals His Word to us. If we try and reason and rationalise out His Word, without His Spirit, then we’ll just get confused! (Well that has been my experience!)
Jesus Christ is Lord and He is perfect love. God, The God of Christianity, is love. The allah of islam cannot compare.
Now, I imagine that you want to keep your faith in Jesus Christ as Lord, that you want to discover Him as your First Love again, and that is why you keep coming back to His Word, hoping to find the truth – so I would encourage you for a few weeks, to try and ignore your thoughts about islam. Stop searching for islam, because it will keep you in a state of confusion and satan will try and tempt you through it.
Instead, focus with eyes of faith, upon Jesus Christ, the lover of your heart and your creator. He has more to offer you – living waters to quench your thirst! He wants to breathe life onto The Bible for you, and He wants to bless you so that you can see the beauty of a life with Him, as His child, once again.
Each day, spend a little bit of time at the feet of Jesus Christ, receiving from Him, and not from islam. Keep doing that, and keep putting on worship music that can connect you with the heart of Jesus Christ (if you need any tips of how to re-connected with God, just email me!). The Bible tells us that we love because Jesus Christ first loved us. So sweetheart, remain in that love and see how Jesus Christ begins to heal your perceptions and calm your worries.
Allow the peace which Jesus Christ gives, to guide you into all truth, and try not to rationalise your way out of the revelation of His truth. Sometimes, we can’t see the full picture – we can’t see the answers to all of our questions. Sometimes, we’ve got to live by faith and not by sight, and we’ve got to trust even when our emotions don’t correspond. Step out of the boat, take a leap of faith, and Jesus Christ will pour His love and peace into your heart.
“14And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony].
15And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].
16Let the word [spoken by] Christ (the Messiah) have its home [in your hearts and minds] and dwell in you in [all its] richness, as you teach and admonish and train one another in all insight and intelligence and wisdom [in spiritual things, and as you sing] psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, making melody to God with [His] grace in your hearts.
17And whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus and in [dependence upon] His Person, giving praise to God the Father through Him”
- Colossians 3:14-17 (AMP)
“and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
- Philippians 4:7 (NKJV)
I find that The Message Bible really can help to connect people with the heart of God. So if you are struggling, maybe check that out (You can check it out on Biblegateway . com) ?