My ERP

[dabro]

See most of you know that I deal with a obsession that I'm dead and at the Final and last Judgement.



ERP...... So I died in my sins. I gave into all sorts of lust of the flesh. I never gave God a second chance and He didn't either. I was green deathly green like the pale horseman came and was above me overshadowing me. Now I'm waiting for God the Mighty and Rightous to condemn me to Hell. Where I will forever be tormented. I don't even get a chance to breath as I am cast into the lake of fire. God showed no mercy on me. My depraved mind was more importent than God's will. My only wish is to warn others that they will never want to come to this horrible torment. But even that I'm not givin because it would sooth my mind. Even tho I see everything as it is. My heart is in Hell forever to be tormented. for ever and ever.

 

[dabro]

GO OKC Thunder! lol back to the point. Most of you would say it's so hard to live with the possiblity of not knowing if there is a God or not. or I accept that Hell is my destination and there is nothing I can do about it. But, this reverses the way our OCD has had when it creats an endless maze of ?'s and answers. Trust me. What I wrote hurt but didn't hurt as bad as if I where just starting the therapy. It's a tough way to look at things. To my biggest fear to stand before a wrathful God at this very moment and be thrown in Hell. OUCH!. But that is what needs to be done to give our armor thickness and refine us.

 

[strelok0017]

If you believe in Jesus you are saved. No works can make you an unsaved person. I know this might seem silly, especially in the light of my own struggles too, but we must labor to learn how to trust to the Lord Jesus. I know what you are going through is probably tough, but God loves you and wants good for you. Our struggles can be very hard pressing. I know what random thoughts feel like... Especially guilt over stuff that we don't do. I had my share of those. The reality in Jesus is what will hold us. He loves us.

 

[gracealone]

Brave Man!!
I know that was tough to do.
ERP means being willing to stare straight into the face of the OCD beast without flinching. That often means writing out the worst case scenario of what it would be like if our obsessional theme were to be true. This is a desensitization process. The OCD can't throw any thing worse at us because we're already willing to enter into the worse case scenario ourselves. It's like standing up to a really scary bully and saying go ahead hit me right in the face, or lighting a back burn against a wildfire. You burn up all the fuel yourself so there's nothing left over for the OCD.
Good job Dabro! I totally understand why you are doing this. I've done it myself and it doesn't feel good at all but over time your brain will begin to let go of the fear. It was also very courageous of you to share an example of your exposure exercise with us.
Praying for you.
Mitzi

See most of you know that I deal with a obsession that I'm dead and at the Final and last Judgement.



ERP...... So I died in my sins. I gave into all sorts of lust of the flesh. I never gave God a second chance and He didn't either. I was green deathly green like the pale horseman came and was above me overshadowing me. Now I'm waiting for God the Mighty and Rightous to condemn me to Hell. Where I will forever be tormented. I don't even get a chance to breath as I am cast into the lake of fire. God showed no mercy on me. My depraved mind was more importent than God's will. My only wish is to warn others that they will never want to come to this horrible torment. But even that I'm not givin because it would sooth my mind. Even tho I see everything as it is. My heart is in Hell forever to be tormented. for ever and ever.

 

[dabro]

Now I'm just having a rough time. Just found out my stepmother died of cancer and my dad is all torn up about it. It has been on my mind most of the day and I just can't shake it. She is Born Again and I know she's with the Lord so this should be a time of celebration but instead I'm grieving. I look at all the trials I put my step mother thru when I lived with her and I hold on to this guilt. My dad is the same way. He wishes he could just change time and make up for all the mistakes he's made. Not a very good week for me.

 

[dabro]

Ok, God is at the door on His thrown. I'm at His left hand and I don't even get time to explaine. Everything that I did was selfish and it was more importent then anything else. Now He's says depart from me ye wicked for I never knew you. As I turn around I know I will be in pool of fire forever. This is justifaction for what Christ did on the cross and my arrogance not to turn to Him cost me everything.

 

[gracealone]

Hi Dabro,
I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll pray for your family during this time of grieving. These stressful/painful times typically make our OCD act up. That makes it doubly hard for you. Stay the course...
Mitzi

Now I'm just having a rough time. Just found out my stepmother died of cancer and my dad is all torn up about it. It has been on my mind most of the day and I just can't shake it. She is Born Again and I know she's with the Lord so this should be a time of celebration but instead I'm grieving. I look at all the trials I put my step mother thru when I lived with her and I hold on to this guilt. My dad is the same way. He wishes he could just change time and make up for all the mistakes he's made. Not a very good week for me.

 

[dabro]

When your OCD catches you off gaurd. Don't attend to the thought by answering it in your mind. Just let it sit there. It maybe a day a week or month until you feel yourself being untangled from the OCD but it gets there over time. Also And SSRI would help. I wouldn't go without it. Also a benzo AS NEEDED. so you don't build up a tolerance to it. Best wishes to you all.