My Dysfunctional Family

[TheAristocrat]

I live with my grandmother. She was with the same man (not my actual grandfather), for twenty-five years. About five years ago, he started molesting my cousin. She is my age, but was only 14 at the time. This went on until my cousin was 17, and told us about their relationship. My grandmother kicked him out, and we pressed charges against him. Now this man has lung cancer and probably only has a year to live. The trial keeps getting postponed, so he will probably die before he has to go to prison. He was living on a third story apartment, and is now too weak to get up all those steps. My grandma says she is doing the "humanitarian" thing by letting him move back in with us. My aunts and uncles think my grandma has lost her mind. I hardly know this guy, but I think we should forgive him. He has no friends or family, and nobody should have to die alone. But child molestation is probably the worst thing you could do, next to killing someone. I am very confused about the whole situation.

 

[madison1101]

I live with my grandmother. She was with the same man (not my actual grandfather), for twenty-five years. About five years ago, he started molesting my cousin. She is my age, but was only 14 at the time. This went on until my cousin was 17, and told us about their relationship. My grandmother kicked him out, and we pressed charges against him. Now this man has lung cancer and probably only has a year to live. The trial keeps getting postponed, so he will probably die before he has to go to prison. He was living on a third story apartment, and is now too weak to get up all those steps. My grandma says she is doing the "humanitarian" thing by letting him move back in with us. My aunts and uncles think my grandma has lost her mind. I hardly know this guy, but I think we should forgive him. He has no friends or family, and nobody should have to die alone. But child molestation is probably the worst thing you could do, next to killing someone. I am very confused about the whole situation.

I think there has to be some alternative to this. Contact the local agency on aging in your area and see if the social worker there can help you find an alternative place for this man to live. Maybe an assisted living home or some place like that. He should not be back in your grandmother's. It is unfair to your cousin.

has your cousin gotten therapy to help her deal with the molestation? She really should get help.

 

[goldenviolet]

agree with madison 100%...
contact senior services.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing indeed, and as long as he's alive there's the possibility of reconciliation. Once he passes it becomes much harder. This is maybe something you could mention to your cousin.

I'm not sure it's a good idea to have him move back in. You didn't mention if your cousin lives at your grandmother's, but in either case it could upset her very much. If your grandmother has been able to forgive him, that's great, but in order for him to move back I really think your cousin should've made peace with him too.

Remember to pray to God. Only with His help can this situation have a happy ending. I'll be praying too.