My Departure

[Kaai]

I have made a conscious decision to leave my family church. Why? On 1/23/2019 my father who is a deacon of the church violently attacked my mother and I. How can I listen to/watch a man pray, sing in choir, or volunteer in the church knowing what I know about him behind closed doors. It's as if both he and my mother carry holiness in their heart but with their mouth and actions doesn't match the word of Christ. I'm currently constructing a letter on leaving the church, not my faith nor God just the church. My parents aren't the only ones within the church who do and say one thing, and turn around and do another including the pastor. Am I taking things a bit to far by wanting to departure for the church? Since yesterday his actions have really consumed my thoughts for the day and being home around him takes my head to really dark places. What should I do?

 

[redleghunter]

I have made a conscious decision to leave my family church. Why? On 1/23/2019 my father who is a deacon of the church violently attacked my mother and I. How can I listen to/watch a man pray, sing in choir, or volunteer in the church knowing what I know about him behind closed doors. It's as if both he and my mother carry holiness in their heart but with their mouth and actions doesn't match the word of Christ. I'm currently constructing a letter on leaving the church, not my faith nor God just the church. My parents aren't the only ones within the church who do and say one thing, and turn around and do another including the pastor. Am I taking things a bit to far by wanting to departure for the church? Since yesterday his actions have really consumed my thoughts for the day and being home around him takes my head to really dark places. What should I do?

Take the letter directly to the pastor. Does he already know?

 

[Kaai]

Take the letter directly to the pastor. Does he already know?

*No he doesn't know yet, I'm in the process of preparing the letter.

 

[redleghunter]

*No he doesn't know yet, I'm in the process of preparing the letter.

If you can take it directly to him.

What’s important is you and your mother need to get to a safe home of another family member or friend.

 

[Kaai]

If you can take it directly to him.

What’s important is you and your mother need to get to a safe home of another family member or friend.

I will do exactly that.. As for my mother in her words "she's a grown woman, and doesn't need anybody to have her back."

 

[redleghunter]

I will do exactly that.. As for my mother in her words "she's a grown woman, and doesn't need anybody to have her back."

Understood.

I’m sorry you both are going through this and will pray for you, your mom and your dad.

 

[Kaai]

Thank you!

 

[Rescued One]

How horribly sad! I will also pray.

 

[mmsyther]

My first impression is that you aren't the one that should be leaving. Rather your attacker should be leaving as a matter of church discipline .

But honestly family situations like this are extremly difficult. I cant really relate to this degree of conflict but I know any family conflicts that I have are tough. Ideally Matthew 18 lays out how we are to confront those who sin seriously against us . But practically living the text out is difficult when the church your in isn't biblical. Also it's very difficult when it's a family member .Paul put members out of the church numerous times for blasphemy , adultery and serious sins. I believe extreme violence toward anyone Paul would have put that person out of church fellowship immediately . Of course, kicking a member out of church is meant for the persons good so that they will see the seriousness of their sin and repent and then will be allowed back into the church . Also, a professing Christian who commits these serious sins heavily brings down the name of Christ . All Christian's need to make it clear that we do not tolerate sin .

So just do what you think needs to be done because it sounds like your church isn't very biblical anyways . The letter is a good idea because you can communicate your thoughts better that way to the church .

I would encourage you to find someone in person to talk to as well . If no one comes to mind then pray that God would provide someone who could provide you with godly counsel .

 

[Kaai]

My first impression is that you aren't the one that should be leaving. Rather your attacker should be leaving as a matter of church discipline .

But honestly family situations like this are extremly difficult. I cant really relate to this degree of conflict but I know any family conflicts that I have are tough. Ideally Matthew 18 lays out how we are to confront those who sin seriously against us . But practically living the text out is difficult when the church your in isn't biblical. Also it's very difficult when it's a family member .Paul put members out of the church numerous times for blasphemy , adultery and serious sins. I believe extreme violence toward anyone Paul would have put that person out of church fellowship immediately . Of course, kicking a member out of church is meant for the persons good so that they will see the seriousness of their sin and repent and then will be allowed back into the church . Also, a professing Christian who commits these serious sins heavily brings down the name of Christ . All Christian's need to make it clear that we do not tolerate sin .

So just do what you think needs to be done because it sounds like your church isn't very biblical anyways . The letter is a good idea because you can communicate your thoughts better that way to the church .

I would encourage you to find someone in person to talk to as well . If no one comes to mind then pray that God would provide someone who could provide you with godly counsel .

Thank you dearly for your kind words.

 

[Kaai]

How horribly sad! I will also pray.

Thank you!

 

[sunshine100]

you and your family are in my prayers,and please you and your family stay safe.