Hey everyone. I'm fairly new to CF and have browsed here occasionally but haven't really been that active. I thought I might turn to the community here with you opinions and thoughts on my current situation. With my pastor on vacation and another member of my church, who is wise in the matters of relationships also on vacation, I really have nowhere else to turn right now. I pray I might be able to find something here.
EDIT: BTW, I didn't know where to post this because we aren't a couple but it different from an ordinary friendship in that we do things that you wouldn't normally do with someone else. I guess I wanted to see what couples thoughts were.
I was in a relationship with a girl at the beginning of my first school year at university. It was during our frosh week that I met her. She was a Protestant Christian and I was self-proclaimed Catholic who didn't have much faith left in God. It wasn't until later on that she began talking to me about what I really believe in. At the time I can see that I was proud of what I was and how I grew up. I then realized that pride stemmed from having no faith in God and was foolish of myself.
I starting attending church with her and I too came to know Christ. It was different this time around since I knew Christ but I didn't really know Him or have that relationship. To fast-track ahead in time a little bit, I'm greatful that God crossed our paths with each other. Originally, she had the choice of choosing York or OCAD and I had the choice of going away to school as an undeclared major or stay back home and work. At the time I wanted to leave Windsor and move away even if I didn't originally get accepted into my programs of choice at York.
We were together and then separated throughout the school year because as our relationship matured, we did too and a lot of things started came to our attention. We found that any time we spent with each other, we left God out of the picture. And I think when we began dating we included God into our relationship. Further down the road, we began to do less of this. We were more focused on ourselves and I don't know if that was selfish of me or us. We began praying less together than we used to when were started dating. There were even instances when unfortunately, make-out sessions went to far. We were always able to catch ourselves before it went to that. But the point was, the two of us together started straying away from the path. We then had a long talk and finally listen to God about what we knew had to happen. From then on we were now separated. We told ourselves this would be the last time and for some stupid reason, we still continued on with kissing when I know we shouldn't have.
I haven't explained everything in detail since I'm finding it difficult to try and convey everything on the internet and through words. We've been through so much together and although have fallen together at points in our relationship, God has also taught us so much more once we were apart from each other. Now, when I say we were apart from each other, I suppose I'm more so referring to the fact that we were no longer bf and gf. This is why our "friendship" or relationship is strange. Even though we aren't labelled as a couple anymore, I still feel like we somewhat are. We're still great friends. We still talk to each other and make ourselves accountable one to the other. I still think of her as my best friend and still love her so much. I sometimes think now that we're not together is it right for me to think about her a lot. I mean, the times we've shared together, the things which have allowed us to grow even more in the Lord, and I guess I'm just a little confuzzled. I don't know what to think sometimes.
During our time together and even now, we've had many discussions about marriage as well. Our age is an issue with the world because we're so young. We've had talks about it and in a way have been saving ourselves for each other on our wedding day.
That's the other thing.
We talk about a wedding and the problem we always seem to run into is time. When will God grant us this? And the thing we sometimes get carried away in is planning. We separate to focus our lives more to God because when we were together, we began lacking on that area of our lives. We really want to devote all of ourselves to God and to whatever He wants us to do with our lives. I guess we're stuck in between thinking about what I think God wants me to do, or what I want to happen and I wonder if I'm being selfish to think and plan ahead instead of waiting on Him.
Suprisingly, I've never been scared or even thought it was sort of wierd that we were both comfortable talking about marriage and what we would look for in our future husband/wife. I've found the woman of God that I want to marry but again this is what I want. I see so much of Christ living in her that it really does make me love her even more whenever I spend time with her. And I want to be the best husband I could ever be if we were ever to get married. We both know, we'd probably be poor if we were married and we both would accept it knowing that God would provide for us...
We still also hang out whenever we can. It's hard but also better that I'm about 400KM away from Toronto because it would eliminate the want to visit her whenever I wanted to. But I have been up a couple times this summer on our vacation trips to different places and events happening.
Oh, did I mention she's leaving Toronto this year? She'll be leaving for Thunderbay to attend the Great Commission School. After talking with her, she really felt that God opened this door for her so that she could know Him so much more. And I'm very happy that she's listened to His call to leave her home, family and friends and her church. We've been struggling with this as well because one of the guidelines at that school is that you are not allowed to spend time or be with the opposite sex alone. We talked and decided it's best that we would also incorporate this same guideline in our wierd relationship. We would maintain no contact with each other while she was away in Thunderbay and perhaps even after when she came back home. The two of us just to don't know what to do and how we should pick up where we left off at.
I've been learning that I need to trust in the Lord to tell me what I need to do with my life. I guess I had plans of going away to do missionary work, but that's what I wanted to do for God. It get's troubling when I get back into the planning train of thought of... when am I going to get to do this and when am I going to get to do that? Where does marriage fit in? Where does my career fit in? When I thought like that, it was like chaos. I've learned that I need to be calm and listening to His commands.
I'm not even sure if this has made any sense to you. I'm just a little lost on why I feel this way and wondering if it's all selfish of me to think like this. To have these thoughts of one day being together.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say here... has anyone ever been in a situation like this?
EDIT: BTW, I didn't know where to post this because we aren't a couple but it different from an ordinary friendship in that we do things that you wouldn't normally do with someone else. I guess I wanted to see what couples thoughts were.
I was in a relationship with a girl at the beginning of my first school year at university. It was during our frosh week that I met her. She was a Protestant Christian and I was self-proclaimed Catholic who didn't have much faith left in God. It wasn't until later on that she began talking to me about what I really believe in. At the time I can see that I was proud of what I was and how I grew up. I then realized that pride stemmed from having no faith in God and was foolish of myself.
I starting attending church with her and I too came to know Christ. It was different this time around since I knew Christ but I didn't really know Him or have that relationship. To fast-track ahead in time a little bit, I'm greatful that God crossed our paths with each other. Originally, she had the choice of choosing York or OCAD and I had the choice of going away to school as an undeclared major or stay back home and work. At the time I wanted to leave Windsor and move away even if I didn't originally get accepted into my programs of choice at York.
We were together and then separated throughout the school year because as our relationship matured, we did too and a lot of things started came to our attention. We found that any time we spent with each other, we left God out of the picture. And I think when we began dating we included God into our relationship. Further down the road, we began to do less of this. We were more focused on ourselves and I don't know if that was selfish of me or us. We began praying less together than we used to when were started dating. There were even instances when unfortunately, make-out sessions went to far. We were always able to catch ourselves before it went to that. But the point was, the two of us together started straying away from the path. We then had a long talk and finally listen to God about what we knew had to happen. From then on we were now separated. We told ourselves this would be the last time and for some stupid reason, we still continued on with kissing when I know we shouldn't have.
I haven't explained everything in detail since I'm finding it difficult to try and convey everything on the internet and through words. We've been through so much together and although have fallen together at points in our relationship, God has also taught us so much more once we were apart from each other. Now, when I say we were apart from each other, I suppose I'm more so referring to the fact that we were no longer bf and gf. This is why our "friendship" or relationship is strange. Even though we aren't labelled as a couple anymore, I still feel like we somewhat are. We're still great friends. We still talk to each other and make ourselves accountable one to the other. I still think of her as my best friend and still love her so much. I sometimes think now that we're not together is it right for me to think about her a lot. I mean, the times we've shared together, the things which have allowed us to grow even more in the Lord, and I guess I'm just a little confuzzled. I don't know what to think sometimes.
During our time together and even now, we've had many discussions about marriage as well. Our age is an issue with the world because we're so young. We've had talks about it and in a way have been saving ourselves for each other on our wedding day.
That's the other thing.
We talk about a wedding and the problem we always seem to run into is time. When will God grant us this? And the thing we sometimes get carried away in is planning. We separate to focus our lives more to God because when we were together, we began lacking on that area of our lives. We really want to devote all of ourselves to God and to whatever He wants us to do with our lives. I guess we're stuck in between thinking about what I think God wants me to do, or what I want to happen and I wonder if I'm being selfish to think and plan ahead instead of waiting on Him.
Suprisingly, I've never been scared or even thought it was sort of wierd that we were both comfortable talking about marriage and what we would look for in our future husband/wife. I've found the woman of God that I want to marry but again this is what I want. I see so much of Christ living in her that it really does make me love her even more whenever I spend time with her. And I want to be the best husband I could ever be if we were ever to get married. We both know, we'd probably be poor if we were married and we both would accept it knowing that God would provide for us...
We still also hang out whenever we can. It's hard but also better that I'm about 400KM away from Toronto because it would eliminate the want to visit her whenever I wanted to. But I have been up a couple times this summer on our vacation trips to different places and events happening.
Oh, did I mention she's leaving Toronto this year? She'll be leaving for Thunderbay to attend the Great Commission School. After talking with her, she really felt that God opened this door for her so that she could know Him so much more. And I'm very happy that she's listened to His call to leave her home, family and friends and her church. We've been struggling with this as well because one of the guidelines at that school is that you are not allowed to spend time or be with the opposite sex alone. We talked and decided it's best that we would also incorporate this same guideline in our wierd relationship. We would maintain no contact with each other while she was away in Thunderbay and perhaps even after when she came back home. The two of us just to don't know what to do and how we should pick up where we left off at.
I've been learning that I need to trust in the Lord to tell me what I need to do with my life. I guess I had plans of going away to do missionary work, but that's what I wanted to do for God. It get's troubling when I get back into the planning train of thought of... when am I going to get to do this and when am I going to get to do that? Where does marriage fit in? Where does my career fit in? When I thought like that, it was like chaos. I've learned that I need to be calm and listening to His commands.
I'm not even sure if this has made any sense to you. I'm just a little lost on why I feel this way and wondering if it's all selfish of me to think like this. To have these thoughts of one day being together.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say here... has anyone ever been in a situation like this?
