My co-workers hate me

*sigh* I'm just going to keep going and not take it personally. I refuse to gossip with them. I refuse to complain and "vent". I don't want to vent at work because it leads to dissatisfaction. The narcissism at my office is off the charts. And I find I become narcissistic and gossipy and vile just like them. No matter how many times I ask for forgiveness from God, I wake up and do it all over again! One of my co-workers and I have not spoken in about 4 months (she's the "queen bee" of the office). She is as vile as can be. My other co-workers survive at the office by being friends with her. Every day is a chess game. I drew a line in the sand by not behaving their way. Now I'm definitely the odd man out.

I understand sister. I witness to acouple of my co-workers on the evils of yoga and it's origins(one of them said they are born again). The way they reacted was anything but encouraging. So I can relate.. All a believer can do is stand their ground and not give in. Or make the others feel comfortable in their sin. We are called to be salt and light. Doing whats right isn't the easiest thing in this fallen world..Thats why we just have to depend on our Lord Jesus Christ for our strength.

Ephesians 6:10-18 is one of many verses that will help us in our walk.

Ephesians 6:10-18

King James Version (KJV)

10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

Thom79 said:

I understand sister. I witness to acouple of my co-workers on the evils of yoga and it's origins(one of them said they are born again).

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Hmm... my wife's MS support group (they are all born again Christians) is having a Yoga instructor come in next week to teach those suffering from MS a good no impact way to exercise in order to keep limber and healthy.

I understand that many Christians feel that Yoga is evil, but if all you're doing is the exercises, then there should be no harm.

I know that for people with MS, Yoga is the best form of exercise.

Are you saying that if you're Christian and have MS that you should just give up on Yoga because of it's origins?

Life2Christ said:

*sigh* I'm just going to keep going and not take it personally. I refuse to gossip with them. I refuse to complain and "vent". I don't want to vent at work because it leads to dissatisfaction. The narcissism at my office is off the charts. And I find I become narcissistic and gossipy and vile just like them. No matter how many times I ask for forgiveness from God, I wake up and do it all over again! One of my co-workers and I have not spoken in about 4 months (she's the "queen bee" of the office). She is as vile as can be. My other co-workers survive at the office by being friends with her. Every day is a chess game. I drew a line in the sand by not behaving their way. Now I'm definitely the odd man out.

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Bring in some donuts or treat them to a pizza and when they ask what is the occassion,
just tell them that you appreciate them and want to do something nice for them.

Don't let their sinful behavior keep you from being a loving and caring person.

Don't let the devil drive you so far away from them that you cannot
interact with them and share the gospel or your testimony with them.

The devil will try to get you to become so offended by them that
you will withdraw yourself from their lives and leave them in the dark with him.

Jesus said to love your enemies and
TO DO GOOD TO THOSE WHO SPITEFULLY USE YOU.

Put a stopper in the devils mouth by doing something good without expecting
anyone to thank you or change their mind but simply because you are expressing
God's love and care to them, even if they do not deserve it.

Such acts of kindness do make a difference and the situation
at work can be altered for some as they see that even though
you do not do as they do, you still care for them and are willing to show it.

ps
Don't look at your coworkers as enemies but see them as lost and in darkness
and so they need someone like you to pray for them and to forgive them
and to be ready to share the truth of the gospel and your testamony when
God gives you and opportunity.

I can tell you this as a fact.
When you pray for those that are your enemies or those that despitefully use you
or even those that love to gossip and engage in wrongful actions, God
will change the situation and God will give you opportunities to share
His love and good news to those who need it most...lost sinners.

Remember, Jesus came for people just like the ones you work with.

Jesus would have went to their homes and had dinner with them
and he would have shared the good news with them.

Jesus loves.....

Be like Jesus....

Hate the sin that leads them away from God.
Hate the devil's power over their live and the way he blinds them
but love them and desire that they would be saved and ask God to
give you influence in their lives
so that you can point them to Christ.

Life2Christ said:

*sigh* I'm just going to keep going and not take it personally. I refuse to gossip with them. I refuse to complain and "vent". I don't want to vent at work because it leads to dissatisfaction. The narcissism at my office is off the charts. And I find I become narcissistic and gossipy and vile just like them. No matter how many times I ask for forgiveness from God, I wake up and do it all over again! One of my co-workers and I have not spoken in about 4 months (she's the "queen bee" of the office). She is as vile as can be. My other co-workers survive at the office by being friends with her. Every day is a chess game. I drew a line in the sand by not behaving their way. Now I'm definitely the odd man out.

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Is this work, or high school?

Get another job.

Life2Christ said:

*sigh* I'm just going to keep going and not take it personally. I refuse to gossip with them. I refuse to complain and "vent". I don't want to vent at work because it leads to dissatisfaction. The narcissism at my office is off the charts. And I find I become narcissistic and gossipy and vile just like them. No matter how many times I ask for forgiveness from God, I wake up and do it all over again! One of my co-workers and I have not spoken in about 4 months (she's the "queen bee" of the office). She is as vile as can be. My other co-workers survive at the office by being friends with her. Every day is a chess game. I drew a line in the sand by not behaving their way. Now I'm definitely the odd man out.

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Have you considered about finding another job?

Pray that your environment will become a lot friendlier than it is right now. Maybe it's time to open this issue up with a manager, but do it with discretion.

I'll pray for you. It sounds like you're having a really rough time. Though it wasn't at work, I've been put in tough spots like this before with false accusations and gossips. But don't fear and don't fret. If I had realized that God was always with me, then I wouldn't have done regrettable things back then.

When I still lived and worked in NC...all the factory job
settings(I worked at) were like what you are describing...even the other
Christians who worked at the same places that I did
would "play along" with the Queen Bees...the longest I lasted
at a factory job was nearly 3 years and it was grueling!

It didn't matter what I did or tried to do it was "torn up"...bringing in stuff for
my co-workers didn't work because they knew I was a Christian and
they viewed my attempts as trying to suck up to them... the straw that broke
the camel's back was this one: I was to collect money for our boss's Christmas
present, everyone gave and at the end of the day I had a total of $10 bucks...most of it was in small change! My co-workers all looked smug as I had counted the money in front of them. The Queen Bee instructed me to be "generous" as a Christian should be and get our boss lady a really nice present and a Christmas card.

I put in $5 dollars and that made it possible to buy our boss lady a gift set of leather gloves that came with a pretty scarf. There wasn't any money left for the card, so I purchased a nice Hallmark Christmas card out of my own pocket.
I wrapped up the gift and took it and the card (others had to sign it) to work...I brought all the receipts with me and when they all started complaining about the "cheap gift" I purchased, I showed them the receipts and reminded them of what they had given only came to ten dollars.

The Queen Bee sailed into me and said I must not of given anything!
I showed her the receipt for the purchase of the gloves & scarf set and the receipt for the purchase of the Hallmark greeting card... add it up I said to her, you will see I put in more money than any of you.
I wasted my breath on them...all they could talk about was how cheap I was etc... I resigned from celebrating their type of Christmas after that.

I was so happy when our slumping economy got better and other jobs became available...I will always remember my last day there-- I walked out of that factory feeling as though I'd won the lottery lol!

If you would like to share her contact information with me I would be more than happy to have a little chat. Or you can just tell her zeener from Christian Forums told you that under her petty behavior is a scared little girl worried sick about getting old and being alone, and dying, but it's time get over it, because we all have to go through those doors eventually, so shut up already, suck it up and make the best of it and let's just get along while we're young and healthy enough to appreciate what we have.

Its the 'queen bees' that always have insecurity issues deep down. See when everyone deserts her, she will feel like a little lost child.
Don not join in their vile and gossips. Definitely don't.
Be friendly with them when need be, but do not join them in doing anything that is contrary to the will of God.
If everyone is against you for following the Lord's will, so be it. You will come out victorious than they. If they treat you as an outcast or as weird for not joining in their gossips, gladly accept it as their own immaturity and ignorance.
Its an office/work place not a school yard. I cannot believe people still act this way towards others. Don't let others get you down. You deserve to live freely and be happy to go to work every mroning, not feel like you are going to the lion's dungeon.
Keep your strength intact, and The Lord will help you.

Ark100 said:

I cannot believe people still act this way towards others.

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Thanks to everyone who responded, I got some really good ideas and perspectives from everyone's contribution. I thought the above quote was interesting. The Queen Bee I'm describing is over 40 years old. I don't think it matters how old you are, if you don't have a relationship with God you are going to be spinning your wheels forever. One of the other "bees" in the colony is older than her by a decade. I just think that once you break free of negative behaviors (something I'm still struggling with) and have a relationship with God, you are really free. Doesn't matter at what age you begin.

unfortunately, we cannot control the petty behavior of those around us. i agree with the advice that you will probably be better off finding another job. time to start looking ... today! good luck.

gideon123