and a part of me feels cheated, I don't want to be unequally yoked because I feel that verse isnt a suggestion but a command, for Gods glory, and mine and my future spouses benefit
but I notice that women in particular within the church are happy to settle, my female friend has got engaged to an unbeliever and I feel cheated, maybe I should marry an unbeliever aswell? surely it can't be so bad if alot of people are disregarding that verse?
IMO you should carefully read and pray about 2 Cor. 6:14. People who live after the flesh (because they aren't born of God) can cause lots of trouble. For such a significant change of life, don't you think you ought to seek God's direction? If not, are you prepared to take on a whole new set of problems, sins, and obstacles to happiness?
My pastor wrote a very wise list of principles concerning this situation:
Titled: How to Fall into the Arms of God's Right Man or Woman for You
1. You both must be connected to God (believers in Christ)
2. You must be in agreement on core values associated with a life relationship:
A. What you believe about God
B. What you believe about people
C. What you believe about things
3. You must be on your way to becoming emotionally healthy (how you respond to crisis)
4. You must be in agreement about 4 structures of authority:
parents, church leaders, government, employers
5. You must allow a time frame that fosters knowledge about the other person
6. You must be free from marital attachments (not going through divorce)
7. You must focus on inner appearance (integrity)
8. You must follow 3 instructions:
A. Stop hunting - lose the angst about finding a mate
B. Affirm the truth you can be successful in every area as a single
C. Ask God to bring you the mate you wish (and trust Him for it)
9. You must sacrifice your right to have a mate (put God first)
10. You must move forward with no fear (confidence about God's will in your relationship)
Whatever you do, communicate well.