My boyfriend won't discuss the breakup

[Heartofsilver]

Hello everyone,

Months ago I had a psychiatric episode which soon resulted a domino effect of my family being very misunderstanding and abusive towards me which I have already discussed in a previous post. I broke up with my boyfriend due to mental issues at the time and soon got back with him. Sometime after this, I freaked out and started yelling empty threats to my dad for not allowing me to leave their house while on the phone with my boyfriend. Him and his family were so appalled at what I said amongst other difficulties ie me feeling suicidal,having verbal lack of self-control, that he eventually broke up with me for a short time. We soon got back together after I finally was taken home from my parent's house. I have been doing better with getting on medication, going through therapy/group therapy, and getting a much needed break from school.

When I first discussed the break up with my boyfriend he said nothing. A bit later I had another psychiatric episode and was experiencing mental issues again. I let go of him and school again. We soon got back together again and I felt fears of him leaving me again during a difficult time and asked why he had broken up with me the last time. He kept making up excuses to why he left me while I was having memory issue after the episode. Looking back he lied, telling me that it was because of his medication. He also told me that he left me because he feared that he had become my sole support, which that one may be true at the time, but it still hurts and I'm wondering if he was lying about that, too.

Recently when I asked him or mentioned the time that he broke up with me months ago, he is now denying that it ever happened and even went as far as trying to find evidence that it never happened.

I'm not understanding why he was possibly lying and now completely denying that it ever happened. I was thinking that it would be healthy for the both of us to discuss it at some point, but he has shown me that the few times that I tried talking to him about it, he completely refuses to really discuss it.

 

[Andrew77]

Hello everyone,

Months ago I had a psychiatric episode which soon resulted a domino effect of my family being very misunderstanding and abusive towards me which I have already discussed in a previous post. I broke up with my boyfriend due to mental issues at the time and soon got back with him. Sometime after this, I freaked out and started yelling empty threats to my dad for not allowing me to leave their house while on the phone with my boyfriend. Him and his family were so appalled at what I said amongst other difficulties ie me feeling suicidal,having verbal lack of self-control, that he eventually broke up with me for a short time. We soon got back together after I finally was taken home from my parent's house. I have been doing better with getting on medication, going through therapy/group therapy, and getting a much needed break from school.

When I first discussed the break up with my boyfriend he said nothing. A bit later I had another psychiatric episode and was experiencing mental issues again. I let go of him and school again. We soon got back together again and I felt fears of him leaving me again during a difficult time and asked why he had broken up with me the last time. He kept making up excuses to why he left me while I was having memory issue after the episode. Looking back he lied, telling me that it was because of his medication. He also told me that he left me because he feared that he had become my sole support, which that one may be true at the time, but it still hurts and I'm wondering if he was lying about that, too.

Recently when I asked him or mentioned the time that he broke up with me months ago, he is now denying that it ever happened and even went as far as trying to find evidence that it never happened.

I'm not understanding why he was possibly lying and now completely denying that it ever happened. I was thinking that it would be healthy for the both of us to discuss it at some point, but he has shown me that the few times that I tried talking to him about it, he completely refuses to really discuss it.

Two things I'll respond to. And these are the only two bits of advice I have.

1. Never bring up a past problem. Forgive, and let it go. You should never bring up a past break up ever.

If a women keeps bring up something I did in the past, like a past break up, I'll fix that by breaking up again, and this time permanently.

Just saying. I don't put up with someone constantly re-living all my failures. I relive my own failures enough on my own. I don't need you to hold it over me.

2. You said "I said amongst other difficulties ie me feeling suicidal,having verbal lack of self-control"

Straight up. Everything else you do, I might be able to find a way to deal with. But losing control of your mouth, will destroy everything.

Words hurt. Proverbs 18:21 says "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."
You can beat me with a stick for an hour, and it won't hurt as much as the things you say.

If you want any relationship with anyone anywhere to last.... you had better control your tongue. This is your fight, your battle to win. You must defeat and control your own tongue.