My best friend was killed

[hardcoreGL1229]

I got a call around 3 am and my best friend's mom told me my best friend had just been killed. He was driving home and another car hit him, the car ran a red light, the impact of the vehicle killed him right away. I've known him for 15 years. I can't seem to stop crying. I don't know what to do. My heart physically hurts, it feels so heavy. I still can't grasp the fact that he is gone. I just saw him last night. We hung out for hours, and now I will never see him again.

 

[MsAnne]

I am so very sorry. There is little I can say, so I will simply hold you up today and ask for comfort.

 

[Kimberlyann]

I know how you feel, my brother was killed in February. He was hit by a 18 wheeler. I couldn't stop crying for several days, I even cry in my sleep and when I dream. I wouldn't be able to make it if I didn't have Jesus in my life. He has brought me comfort. My advice to you is to just cling to Jesus. He will get you through this. I will pray for you.

 

[hardcoreGL1229]

Ok so the funeral was Friday...and it was bad. I fell to my knees half way to his casket and just starting sobbing. It took me a good while to calm down, but eventually I was able to walk up there. I don't think there was a second I wasn't crying.

Right after the funeral I just starting driving. I got on the interstate and just drove. I had a lot of time to think. I cried for a good bit, and I let a lot of my frustration out.

I'm not crying as much, but I feel extremely shaky. I don't feel stable, and my heart is racing. I can't even hold a piece of paper without it falling out of my hand. I haven't had a lot of sleep either. I guess it's just the aftermath of everything.

 

[Kimberlyann]

I feel your pain. It felt like I was in hell through the funeral. I hated it so bad. I wanted to be alone in my grief. It wasn't until after the funeral that I felt like I could start grieving. The pain will ease up. You just have to give it time. And try to get some sleep.

I pray that our Lord Jesus will bless and comfort you.

 

[Nachtjager]

I've recently had a very similar traumatic loss because of a drunk driver. In your first post you said something which caught my attention. Remember, provided that your friend was saved, and I pray he was, your seperation from him is not permanent. You WILL see him again, and in a glorified body. And you will never be able to be parted from him again. Think of this tragedy as a temporary state, I'm dealing with my personal loss in much the same way. Our lives on this planet are but a moment in time compared to an eternity in Heaven. Hold to your faith, cherish the memories, and remember, everything happens for a reason; everything. Nothing, no death, no tragedy, no illness, is allowed to occur without God's will. It may not make any sense to us for something like this to occur, and it may seem utterly unfair, but rest assured, there was a reason. Praying for ya', take care and God bless.

 

[newyorknewyork]

I'm am so sorry for your deep painful loss.

I wish I could comfort you, but Jesus will!

praying for you and thinking of you during this difficult time.. I lost my Dad 2 years ago. Believe it or not, there is a way through this intense grief. It does get easier.

Let Jesus carry you during this time... many hugs, tsuriyel

 

[I_Heart_Jesus777]

I'm so sorry, I dont know what to say but what everyone else has sad. Trust in Jesus, cling to Him, He will make the pain go away, and remember one day you will see him in heaven, and will spend forever with him.

 

[Angelwarrioress]

I got a call around 3 am and my best friend's mom told me my best friend had just been killed. He was driving home and another car hit him, the car ran a red light, the impact of the vehicle killed him right away. I've known him for 15 years. I can't seem to stop crying. I don't know what to do. My heart physically hurts, it feels so heavy. I still can't grasp the fact that he is gone. I just saw him last night. We hung out for hours, and now I will never see him again.

I know you are hurting right now. I lost my 15 year old brother 10 years ago. I will pray for God to comfort you at this time. It hurts for us, but just remember your friend is in the prescence of Jesus and is in paradise and one day we all will be reunited, to never evr have to suffer hurt, ever again.

 

[hockeywifeca]

So very sorry for your loss. What a horrible shock!

 

[Mling]

I had a similar experience almost two years ago. She wasn't my best friend of 15 years, but, for the time I knew her, I deeply respected and loved her, and consider her, quite possibly the most inspirational person I know.

I can't know if your grief is similar to mine, but what disturbed me most through my grieving was the sense of having completely lost my bearings, and having no idea what I was experiencing or where it would lead. In case you are feeling similarly, here are a few things I experienced. I hope it helps.

For a long time, I was very afraid of healing because I thought if I wasn't still upset, I'd be "ok' with her death and I didn't want to be. I'm not. A senseless death will always be senseless, and I can't imagine you will ever be "ok" with it. It sounds strange, but that realization was very comforting to me--that I could, in time, be at peace without degrading what had happened to her.

No matter what anybody who didn't know him says, it is absolutely normal to suddenly remember and miss him years later. America likes to get move through things quickly, and grief, in particular, interferes with the idea of "getting to the bottom line" and working effeceintly. Don't worry about it. You can't "get over" 15 years of friendship in 6 months, and I don't know why anybody would want to. If, a year from now, you find an old T-shirt you borrowed from him and start crying, and somebody says you should have "moved on" by now, and maybe you need counseling, ignore them. They don't know what they're talking about. He will always be a part of you, and, at times, his absence will come to the fore and become particularly painful, even when you've mostly healed.

Eventually, you will feel better.

a while ago, somebody on another forum I visit posted about the death of some famous person I hadn't heard of. Somebody responded with "how happy that she lived." I couldn't fully understand that until my friend had died. I realized that I had assumed she would live to middle age or so (she had a disease that made a full 3 score and 10 unlikely), but nobody had ever promised that. She had gotten 23 years, and I got to share in some of them. There's no reason to try to "distract" yourself from mourning, but, once you are able, it can help to think in terms of celebrating his life.

And talk to people. I was surprised by how much sharing the experience helped.

Wish you well.