C
Choosetobelieve
Guest
I believe there may be a few people on this Forum who will read this Testamony with out rolling their eyes back in their heads and say "That poor guy needs Physiological help as I think he is one french fry short of a happy meal (then again I could be wrong, I often am)
Before I get into the heart of the message let me give you a brief background as we have never met one another. I was born in Grand Rapids Mich. where my parents were members of a Dutch Reformed Church, As you may or not know that denomination is big on righteous works but seem to be a little short on salvation by GRACE through Faith and also beleive on the Doctrine of Predestination which teaches that only certian called persons are Predestioned to be saved. Well when I became a teen ager I therefore assumed I was not worthy to be one of those accepted so why not do my own thing and try my best to enjoy this world ( without hurting anyone intentionally in the process) as this world is all I'll ever have.
I enlisted in the Navy and served for three years in active waters during WW2. After the war I was married to a fine women for close to 62 years until she died in 2011.
In 1958 my wife and I decided to accept Christ, made a confession of our faith and were baptized, I can't speak for my wife but I honestly felt that my life had changed but the minister of the Baptist church we joined had some very legalistic ideas I couldn't entertain such as not watching anything on TV except the news and religious programs as anything else helped those sinners in Hollywood and was against Gods will, Than to top that off I had a two pack a day smoking habit at the time, so taking all this in account I felt I didn't measure up to what I believed a Christian should be so I finally through up my hands and said "Sorry Lord but I just can't cut it" and stopped going to church.
We now jump ahead to 1965 and a job in Huntsville,AL. working for N.A.S.A.as a subcontractor for 12 years I have always had an inferiority complex that I have had to deal with as well as a perfectionist problem an as my work delt with working with the Goverment engineers who had ten times my intellect I became very depressed and a nervious wreck.
Well on the evening of January 9,1977 I went to bed as usual around 10:00 and lie their in bed trying to think of a way I could end my life and make it look like an accident so my wife and daughter could collect my insurance which paid double endemity in case of accidental death.
I told God that all my life I was never sure He existed ,that I was told as long as I could remember that He did, but if He didn't and that He was only someone who I chose to believe did, then I wanted to get off this merry-go-roung called earth. I finally fell of to sleep, awoke the next morning and started to shave in preperation for work at about 6:30 A.M. on Jan.10,1977---I was about halfway through shaving and THATS WHEN IT HAPPENED.
SUDDENLY I FELT A VERY WARM FEELING IN MY CHEST THAT SPRED OUT MY ARMS AND DOWN MY LEGS, THE LIGHTS ABOVE THE MIRROR APPEARED TO BE BRIGHTER LIKE IF YOU WOULD EXCHANGE A SIXTY WATT BULB WITH ONE A HUNDRED AND FIFTY, I FELT YOUNGER AND VERY LIGHT LIKE AS IF I JUMPED UP I WOULD FLOAT DOWN LIKE A BALLOON. BIBLE VERSUS I MEMORIZED AS A CHILD KEPT RACING THROUGH MY HEAD AS TEARS RAN DOWN MY CHEEKS, I STOPPED SHAVING AND WITH LATHER STILL ON MY FACE WALKED OUTSIDE, THE SKY LOOKED MUCH BLUER, THE GRASS GREENER AND THE AIR SMELLED LIKE MY MOTHERS CLOTHES DID WHEN SHE WOULD TAKE THEM OFF THE LINE. AND I HAD THAT PEACE THAT CAN'T BE DISCRIBED IN WORDS,THERE IS NO WAY I CAN EXPLAIN IT BUT I HAD LOVE FOR EVERY THING AND EVERY ONE ,I BELEIVE IF HITLER HAD WALKED UP TO ME I WOULD HAVE LOVED HIM.
I woke up my wife and told her something I don't understand just happened to me that I can't explain but I sure don't want to loose it.....
but I did exactly 9 days later and I begged God (who I now truly believe exists) not to take the wonderful feeling away but it slowly left However in it's place it left me with a BURNING desire to study (not just read) the bible and books pertaining to the bible.
After all the years that have past sence this old man now 87 had that experence I still have a strong desire to study GODS word although it is not as strong as it was at that time and I never had an experance like that again. I can only assume and thats all it is , that GOD took the feeling away so I could learn to....Live by FAITH and not by FEELINGS.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL....RAY
P.S. In no way am I finding fault with the beliefs of the Dutch Reformed denomination or the beliefs of the particular minister of the Baptist church I attended as I leave all that in GOD'S hands I have only stated the facts as I personally understood them an as they applied to me.
Before I get into the heart of the message let me give you a brief background as we have never met one another. I was born in Grand Rapids Mich. where my parents were members of a Dutch Reformed Church, As you may or not know that denomination is big on righteous works but seem to be a little short on salvation by GRACE through Faith and also beleive on the Doctrine of Predestination which teaches that only certian called persons are Predestioned to be saved. Well when I became a teen ager I therefore assumed I was not worthy to be one of those accepted so why not do my own thing and try my best to enjoy this world ( without hurting anyone intentionally in the process) as this world is all I'll ever have.
I enlisted in the Navy and served for three years in active waters during WW2. After the war I was married to a fine women for close to 62 years until she died in 2011.
In 1958 my wife and I decided to accept Christ, made a confession of our faith and were baptized, I can't speak for my wife but I honestly felt that my life had changed but the minister of the Baptist church we joined had some very legalistic ideas I couldn't entertain such as not watching anything on TV except the news and religious programs as anything else helped those sinners in Hollywood and was against Gods will, Than to top that off I had a two pack a day smoking habit at the time, so taking all this in account I felt I didn't measure up to what I believed a Christian should be so I finally through up my hands and said "Sorry Lord but I just can't cut it" and stopped going to church.
We now jump ahead to 1965 and a job in Huntsville,AL. working for N.A.S.A.as a subcontractor for 12 years I have always had an inferiority complex that I have had to deal with as well as a perfectionist problem an as my work delt with working with the Goverment engineers who had ten times my intellect I became very depressed and a nervious wreck.
Well on the evening of January 9,1977 I went to bed as usual around 10:00 and lie their in bed trying to think of a way I could end my life and make it look like an accident so my wife and daughter could collect my insurance which paid double endemity in case of accidental death.
I told God that all my life I was never sure He existed ,that I was told as long as I could remember that He did, but if He didn't and that He was only someone who I chose to believe did, then I wanted to get off this merry-go-roung called earth. I finally fell of to sleep, awoke the next morning and started to shave in preperation for work at about 6:30 A.M. on Jan.10,1977---I was about halfway through shaving and THATS WHEN IT HAPPENED.
SUDDENLY I FELT A VERY WARM FEELING IN MY CHEST THAT SPRED OUT MY ARMS AND DOWN MY LEGS, THE LIGHTS ABOVE THE MIRROR APPEARED TO BE BRIGHTER LIKE IF YOU WOULD EXCHANGE A SIXTY WATT BULB WITH ONE A HUNDRED AND FIFTY, I FELT YOUNGER AND VERY LIGHT LIKE AS IF I JUMPED UP I WOULD FLOAT DOWN LIKE A BALLOON. BIBLE VERSUS I MEMORIZED AS A CHILD KEPT RACING THROUGH MY HEAD AS TEARS RAN DOWN MY CHEEKS, I STOPPED SHAVING AND WITH LATHER STILL ON MY FACE WALKED OUTSIDE, THE SKY LOOKED MUCH BLUER, THE GRASS GREENER AND THE AIR SMELLED LIKE MY MOTHERS CLOTHES DID WHEN SHE WOULD TAKE THEM OFF THE LINE. AND I HAD THAT PEACE THAT CAN'T BE DISCRIBED IN WORDS,THERE IS NO WAY I CAN EXPLAIN IT BUT I HAD LOVE FOR EVERY THING AND EVERY ONE ,I BELEIVE IF HITLER HAD WALKED UP TO ME I WOULD HAVE LOVED HIM.
I woke up my wife and told her something I don't understand just happened to me that I can't explain but I sure don't want to loose it.....
but I did exactly 9 days later and I begged God (who I now truly believe exists) not to take the wonderful feeling away but it slowly left However in it's place it left me with a BURNING desire to study (not just read) the bible and books pertaining to the bible.
After all the years that have past sence this old man now 87 had that experence I still have a strong desire to study GODS word although it is not as strong as it was at that time and I never had an experance like that again. I can only assume and thats all it is , that GOD took the feeling away so I could learn to....Live by FAITH and not by FEELINGS.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL....RAY
P.S. In no way am I finding fault with the beliefs of the Dutch Reformed denomination or the beliefs of the particular minister of the Baptist church I attended as I leave all that in GOD'S hands I have only stated the facts as I personally understood them an as they applied to me.
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