My Actions

Angeleyes7715 said:

Did u not just read where I said I'm going to take her advice and go to the Dr. -__-.

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About non-hormonal birth control, right? Yup, I saw it.........and that's the least of the problems you need to deal with before getting married/having kids, etc......-__-

Angeleyes7715 said:

I don't want to break up with the guy btw. I'll go talk to a dr. About non hormonal bc And also try to take a step back and avoid sex. I don't have any big plans for my life and any plans I did have are already gone because life is pretty awful.

I'm sick of married people acting like they are better than everyone else though or like I'm a child because I've never been married.

It might be too late for me though for all I know I could already be pregnant. I just have to wait it out and take a pregnancy test. I started a new job that pays more so now I get to do the healthcare Mary go round again. This is the whole reason why I can't get mental healthcare in the first place. By the way I did go to counselors and try to get help. They over charge and don't care and try to throw drugs at you. Thank u US healthcare system. -__-.

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I don't think I'm better than you or think you are a child. I'm not THAT much older than you. I just think if you are set on having sex you need to have precautions in place or be prepared to totally care for a child. Sex is a responsibility no matter if you are married or not. i think it's better to wait until marriage, but if you aren't there's nothing anyone can tell you that you would listen to so you might as well try to prevent pregnancy. Being pregnant and then having a child will be a HUGE expense and require much more medical care for you and the child (monthly then weekly when pregnant and monthly for the baby after it is born for the first year), so if you hate the healthcare system, expense, and doctors it doesn't make much sense to leap into all that when it can be avoided. Also, if you need to work you are going to need quality childcare and that is super expensive too. If you are pregnant, you can't just think about your life anymore, you have to think about and provide for another little person who is TOTALLY dependent on you. Your wellbeing directly affects their well being. I know someone who is in prison currently for killing their baby b/c they did not get or could not get mental healthcare for themselves and they could not handle the baby. They hid how they were feeling from everyone; that is beyond sad, but it's sadder still that a totally innocent little baby had to suffer at their hands. Our actions can affect others. It is better to get help NOW , know what you can handle NOW, prevent pregnancy until you are better able to care for a child NOW; than to go down a path/leap in with both feet without thinking that could have a horrible ending and really would mess up your life.

Maybe you should volunteer somewhere; help others. I was single for a long time. I had many feelings that you express: what is my life for? am I just supposed to work and live alone, etc...? I felt pretty meaningless; I was a Christian and wanted to get married and have kids, but I was single and caught up in a career I really didn't like and was making me depressed. It really helped me to volunteer my time to help others. You meet nice people and it feels good to actually help other people or animals. People look forward to seeing you and you look forward to seeing them. It makes the focus on self and everything that isn't right go away for a little while. There are many places to volunteer for Christian organizations or for secular ones if you had rather.

Honey what's being done and said here is to help you see, what most of us have already seen, we are trying to save you from the pain we have felt. One good place to start would be asking God to show you your identity in HIM.

Lots of people never grow up and even in their 40's are still looking for their identity, meaning who they are, where they are going, what they are doing, my character is this, I stand for that, I will not tolerate this, I love that.......... and so on.

Find your identity in Christ, let Him lead you and quit trying to do it in your own strength, let HIM drive the car, let HIM show you how, when, where and what. Trust me, I would trade that age with you in a heartbeat and you'd see fire behind me, OH the things I would do differently, we just trying to help you, and I know you can't see it, but we do, we've seen it and were just trying to warn you.

The last thing you need to do is work in a spirit of rebellion, and it seems I hear a tad of that happening. Just let go and relax, take a deep breath and realize there's no ticking clock against you as you think there is, HE will give you the desires of your heart, ONCE you start living totally and completely for HIM.

Would you like us to tell you that you're doing the right thing, when it's obvious to most of us (based upon age and experience) that you're not?

Angeleyes7715 said:

My sister and everyone agrees that a man is not going to wait for sex until after marriage. They say that's unrealistic and honestly every guy I've ever dated has asked and usually I break up with men because they ask and I don't want to. With this guy I wanted to. You say find a spouse and marry like thats easy. Do you think o haven't tried? The guy usually goes no further in the relationship when I don't want to have sex. What are my dating options tinder? Okc? I don't go to a Catholic or Christian Church anymore I've been treated awful and had ministers preying on me so don't suggest I find a spouse in church. I've prayed to God for help constantly even when I wasn't having sex and I still never get help. A lot of what you say feels so easier said than done.

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None of it's easy. But some options end up more painful than others. Sex before marriage may be ubiquitous but it is not a good recipe nonetheless. Heartache lasts a long time.

Angeleyes7715 said:

Usually people my age have kids and get married and buy a house and then spend the rest of their days cogging away at work until they retire or die. Am I not supposed to be trying to get married? I'm not getting anywhere in my career. I'm stuck as a pharmacy tech at $18/hr in a call center type environment. Business is taking forever I'm not getting anywhere career wise shouldn't I just be happy with where I am and just get married and have kids like everyone else?

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You make it sound terrible but it's not as bad as it seems.

If you love the person you are marrying then it's good.