[moved] Need advice and prayer

[Nattyz]

@Jane_Doe

Thank you, what you said has helped in how I'm looking at it. I'm sorry as well for being overly defensive haha.

Yeah, it really is tough when it's pretty much impossible to reach her given the circumstances. Right now I'll try to just focus solely on prayer. Then when she's back, hopefully we can meet, catch up, sort things out, and see what can be done from there.
It's tough waiting, jumping whenever my phone buzzes, praying for her constantly and hoping she still wants to talk. But only time will tell... So I'll keep striving to keep my focus more on God until that time comes haha

 

[Nattyz]

@ToBeLoved

Thank you so much for your prayers, they really are appreciated.

I'm not very fond of this group myself, honestly. I thought they were really cool up until a month ago, when she started telling me all the strange, bizarre things she had learned with them. The fact that her mentors helped encourage it all... It's just disturbing to me.

But yes, I'll likewise be praying that she still wants to talk in February. I'm hoping I can at least open her eyes to all the context of what she's told me. Whether or not she wants to start thinking about it differently is her choice, but at the moment I still don't think she understands the volume of the choice she's making.
But for now, prayer is the best option, and I'll wait for her to be back from this school to talk it all out. I really just want to talk to her, see her and listen. I just miss her a ton.
Thank you for the prayers again, really. It means a lot

 

[Nattyz]

@Kenny'sID

For sure, thanks so much for praying.

Yeah, right now I'll keep my distance. She hasn't gotten the chance to read the messages I sent a while ago, I think I'll just give her space until she's back. Then I'll pick up on meeting her and contacting her, hopefully to figure this all out. Whether or not she comes to understand this all better, and maybe decide to question her teachers, well, time can only tell. But at least we can settle the dust in person, which I think is the right way. Until then, just need to keep praying.

Again, thanks to everyone for the support, advice, and prayer. It means a ton. Love you all and God bless.

 

[ewq1938]

 

[Jacob Deng]

Hey, so I'm new here. I posted in this thread because I didn't know where else to.

If you're reading this, thank you very much. I appreciate that you're willing to hear what I have to say. I've talked about this with many other people, but decided to present this to a new crowd.

So, here's what's going on:

First, this has to do with relationships. Hope you don't see to many posts about this, but this has been a very high and serious concern of mine.

I'll start by saying that I was in a very healthy relationship with this girl for over a year and a half. This wasn't a high school relationship or anything light, I can honestly say she's been my best friend. We're both over 19 now. We talked to each other about everything, prayed with each other, and for our relationship, and were always open to discuss Biblical ideas. Both of us are looking to be full-time missionaries.

Last August, she left for an out-of-country YWAM DTS, a sort of missionary training school. She would be gone for six months. We live about three hours apart, but I drove up there to send her off at the airport with her family. She really appreciated that.At the start of January, she left for her mission trip portion of the school. She'll be back home in February.

Over the course of her trip, I would call her, pray for her, and give her the encouragement and support she needed. Our timezones were different, but staying up extra late to make calls work didn't matter to me. I donated money for her mission portion to work, and she was extremely grateful.

Now, maybe a day after I had made that donation, she called me. She was in tears and told me of how she learned that "God doesn't want her to be in a relationship with me anymore".

I was shocked and freaking out, and I asked her what the reason was. She told me that God had told her the name of her future husband.

She told me this all right before leaving for her mission trip, so contacting her has been almost impossible. But I learned new things over the following weeks.

Apparently, the person "God" was telling her to marry turned out to be part of her YWAM team. Even further, this guy was being told the same thing (and he broke off a very committed girlfriend because of this, as well).

So, naturally, I wasn't happy. If breaking up was bad enough, the fact that another guy was involved sent me off the rails. I told her that she needed to check herself. That she might not be getting this all from God, that what she was saying sounded bizarre, and suspicious.

I asked her how God was telling them all this, and she told me that at first she thought she heard it as a voice in her head while she was worshipping in church.
Then, she explained to me this practice she would do with her mentors, called "Holy Spirit talks". This is where it gets weird.

Basically, according to her, these Holy Spirit talks are done with two people. Person 1 has a question, and will ask it to Person 2, with no context, so broken down into only a few words (such as "who and what?"). Person 2 then repeats these words to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives them an answer, which Person 2 will repeat to Person 1.

By doing this, she was able to "confirm" with her mentors that I was being too much of a distraction for her, and that she was supposed to marry her YWAM friend. Besides that, she's also mentioned to me how she's gotten involved in modern day prophecy, and praying in tongues. Both of these are things she felt uncomfortable with before she left. All this is telling me is that being at YWAM for so long has changed her views around in many ways.

It's bizarre. It can't be backed up by the bible. It's something I never heard of before, and yet she's completely sold on it.

So here's the notes I have:
-She broke up with me because God told her the name of her future husband.
-This "future husband" turned out to be on her team.
-This guy was being told the same thing.
-Everyone else on her team helped her "confirm" it and just so happened to all be thinking the same thing.

It sounds very suspicious on how conveniant it all worked. My thoughts right now is that she is either A: Using God as an excuse to get with a different guy, B: Fully believing this is all from God without taking much time to pray and think about it on her own, or C: a mix of both.

I've been trying to learn more. I hope to meet with her in person once she's back, so we can discuss it in person, even though she's not planning on thinking twice about it. She's been ignoring me this last week and doesn't seem to want to talk to me anymore, but I believe she's just waiting for her mission trip to end before talking to me again.

So, here's my concerns:

First, that she's using God to back her on breaking up and getting with another guy. She firmly believes it, but I don't. I don't think God would be telling her things like this. I don't think He would have us go through all that we did together just to have her replace me with someone else. It's like some kind of modern day prophecy. I've seen many people be under the impression that God told them to marry someone, and it never works out. I don't want to see her get hurt by this.

Second, these "Holy Spirit talks". The fact that her mentors encouraged her to do this is beyond crazy. I have no idea what's going on over there, but I know this strange practice is wrong. It's not in the bible, no church leader I've spoken to has even heard of it before. And even IF it was a thing, I don't think it would focus on relationships.

Third, this is a complete change of character for her. Her personality with me has gone from sweet and caring to cold and immature. She cuts me off when I try to talk to her, and logs off whenever I show a shred of disagreement.

I was really good to her I thought, I can't think of anything I really did wrong in the relationship. The fact that another guy is with her right now, in a completely different country, is a harsh thought. The fact that she tries to ignore me now, and gets mad at me for being concerned, is depressing. I don't think God speaks to people in the way shes described, and I don't think she's in the right mind about this. I don't believe we can get answers from the Holy Spirit whenever we feel like it, and I especially don't think God focuses on relationship advice. But she's treating all this like she's making a giant sacrifice. She's told me it's the only way she can follow God's plan for her, which just sounds like an excuse at this point.

So, I need prayer. I am praying myself, but I need more people to be as well.

She's hurt me beyond measure by this. But I want to keep discussing this with her before she's sure. It doesn't sound right to me, or anyone else I've talked to about it. It certainly doesn't sound like something from God.

She needs prayer, I need prayer. I need help distancing myself from her. I need wisdom in how I talk with her and how I handle this situation.

I don't have any hope for our relationship anymore. It's over. But I do think she's being misled in her thinking, and needs to pray on it more. Especially when she's home and away from the influence of this overseas team.

Am I wrong for how I'm thinking about this? I can't accept that she's solely doing this for God, I'm not even sure how true that statement is. Thank you for reading all this.

What are your thoughts?

My thoughts on this is, do not let this reach your heart brother!, for now look at this scripture,

After Jesus had told his disciple that he had to go through a lot and then die on the cross to then rise again on the third day, this was Peter's response.
Matthew 16:23 "Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. “Far be it from You, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to You!” But Jesus turned and said to Peter,“Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me. For you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.”

So then, even though Peter was with Jesus, it didn't stop satan from sending his message across to Jesus, to try and stop him from doing one of the things he came to do.

do not let this get to your heart.

**After meditating on this info**
For what reason would God want to pain you?, he is love, the stuff these people are teaching her is clearly false teaching, and sounds more like a ritual from the way they do the "Holy spirit talk", just hold on... why would God want... dude think about this, the holy spirit lives with us and is in us, we can ask him and he can answer anything we desire to know, because he is here in place of Jesus, John 16:13"However, when the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak what He hears,and He will declare to you what is to come."
If the other person is a christian, why would they need to ask the holy spirit that lives "in another body" their 'questions' instead of directly asking the holy spirit whom (assuming they are real born-again Christians) lives in them already?!, no look at this!, God knows our heart, now if you're not asking things that come from your heart but from another heart... you don't even know the heart your interceding for, who knows it could be a wicked heart?, i doubt the holy spirit would take part in this kind of thing, so if any of us here is to do anything, it would be to pray for her.

If Jesus was here instead of the holy spirit, these people are basically asking someone (let's say a disciple of Jesus) to ask Jesus on their behalf a question... this is all weird, we have to be careful, there are other spirits out there 1 John 4:3 "and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming, and is already in the world at this time."

 

[Truthfrees]

Hey, so I'm new here. I posted in this thread because I didn't know where else to.

If you're reading this, thank you very much. I appreciate that you're willing to hear what I have to say. I've talked about this with many other people, but decided to present this to a new crowd.

So, here's what's going on:

First, this has to do with relationships. Hope you don't see to many posts about this, but this has been a very high and serious concern of mine.

I'll start by saying that I was in a very healthy relationship with this girl for over a year and a half. This wasn't a high school relationship or anything light, I can honestly say she's been my best friend. We're both over 19 now. We talked to each other about everything, prayed with each other, and for our relationship, and were always open to discuss Biblical ideas. Both of us are looking to be full-time missionaries.

Last August, she left for an out-of-country YWAM DTS, a sort of missionary training school. She would be gone for six months. We live about three hours apart, but I drove up there to send her off at the airport with her family. She really appreciated that.At the start of January, she left for her mission trip portion of the school. She'll be back home in February.

Over the course of her trip, I would call her, pray for her, and give her the encouragement and support she needed. Our timezones were different, but staying up extra late to make calls work didn't matter to me. I donated money for her mission portion to work, and she was extremely grateful.

Now, maybe a day after I had made that donation, she called me. She was in tears and told me of how she learned that "God doesn't want her to be in a relationship with me anymore".

I was shocked and freaking out, and I asked her what the reason was. She told me that God had told her the name of her future husband.

She told me this all right before leaving for her mission trip, so contacting her has been almost impossible. But I learned new things over the following weeks.

Apparently, the person "God" was telling her to marry turned out to be part of her YWAM team. Even further, this guy was being told the same thing (and he broke off a very committed girlfriend because of this, as well).

So, naturally, I wasn't happy. If breaking up was bad enough, the fact that another guy was involved sent me off the rails. I told her that she needed to check herself. That she might not be getting this all from God, that what she was saying sounded bizarre, and suspicious.

I asked her how God was telling them all this, and she told me that at first she thought she heard it as a voice in her head while she was worshipping in church.
Then, she explained to me this practice she would do with her mentors, called "Holy Spirit talks". This is where it gets weird.

Basically, according to her, these Holy Spirit talks are done with two people. Person 1 has a question, and will ask it to Person 2, with no context, so broken down into only a few words (such as "who and what?"). Person 2 then repeats these words to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives them an answer, which Person 2 will repeat to Person 1.

By doing this, she was able to "confirm" with her mentors that I was being too much of a distraction for her, and that she was supposed to marry her YWAM friend. Besides that, she's also mentioned to me how she's gotten involved in modern day prophecy, and praying in tongues. Both of these are things she felt uncomfortable with before she left. All this is telling me is that being at YWAM for so long has changed her views around in many ways.

It's bizarre. It can't be backed up by the bible. It's something I never heard of before, and yet she's completely sold on it.

So here's the notes I have:
-She broke up with me because God told her the name of her future husband.
-This "future husband" turned out to be on her team.
-This guy was being told the same thing.
-Everyone else on her team helped her "confirm" it and just so happened to all be thinking the same thing.

It sounds very suspicious on how conveniant it all worked. My thoughts right now is that she is either A: Using God as an excuse to get with a different guy, B: Fully believing this is all from God without taking much time to pray and think about it on her own, or C: a mix of both.

I've been trying to learn more. I hope to meet with her in person once she's back, so we can discuss it in person, even though she's not planning on thinking twice about it. She's been ignoring me this last week and doesn't seem to want to talk to me anymore, but I believe she's just waiting for her mission trip to end before talking to me again.

So, here's my concerns:

First, that she's using God to back her on breaking up and getting with another guy. She firmly believes it, but I don't. I don't think God would be telling her things like this. I don't think He would have us go through all that we did together just to have her replace me with someone else. It's like some kind of modern day prophecy. I've seen many people be under the impression that God told them to marry someone, and it never works out. I don't want to see her get hurt by this.

Second, these "Holy Spirit talks". The fact that her mentors encouraged her to do this is beyond crazy. I have no idea what's going on over there, but I know this strange practice is wrong. It's not in the bible, no church leader I've spoken to has even heard of it before. And even IF it was a thing, I don't think it would focus on relationships.

Third, this is a complete change of character for her. Her personality with me has gone from sweet and caring to cold and immature. She cuts me off when I try to talk to her, and logs off whenever I show a shred of disagreement.

I was really good to her I thought, I can't think of anything I really did wrong in the relationship. The fact that another guy is with her right now, in a completely different country, is a harsh thought. The fact that she tries to ignore me now, and gets mad at me for being concerned, is depressing. I don't think God speaks to people in the way shes described, and I don't think she's in the right mind about this. I don't believe we can get answers from the Holy Spirit whenever we feel like it, and I especially don't think God focuses on relationship advice. But she's treating all this like she's making a giant sacrifice. She's told me it's the only way she can follow God's plan for her, which just sounds like an excuse at this point.

So, I need prayer. I am praying myself, but I need more people to be as well.

She's hurt me beyond measure by this. But I want to keep discussing this with her before she's sure. It doesn't sound right to me, or anyone else I've talked to about it. It certainly doesn't sound like something from God.

She needs prayer, I need prayer. I need help distancing myself from her. I need wisdom in how I talk with her and how I handle this situation.

I don't have any hope for our relationship anymore. It's over. But I do think she's being misled in her thinking, and needs to pray on it more. Especially when she's home and away from the influence of this overseas team.

Am I wrong for how I'm thinking about this? I can't accept that she's solely doing this for God, I'm not even sure how true that statement is. Thank you for reading all this.

What are your thoughts?

Wow!

Quite the story!

Praying for her to see the truth!

It's hard to disconnect from someone who breaks it off suddenly like that, with no chance of closure for you!

I'm praying that God will help you disconnect your heart from her, and reconnect those parts to God, until God sorts this out and heals you from this cruel betrayal!

Many people don't know how to be up-front and honest about their feelings!

Her feelings have changed toward you.

I agree with you that it is probably over.

She did not respect you enough to treat you more honorably.

If you can honestly face how badly she treated you, without getting angry/bitter, realizing God saved you from a girl who would have done this kind of thing to you sometime in the future, you may be able to get over her faster.

Relationships are really delicate and difficult!

How can you ever know someone's true feelings toward you?

One way is watching how the person treats you in all kinds of circumstances!

The girl God has for you will be faithful forever to you!

You will be the most wonderful/exciting/interesting person she has ever met!

She will want you and stand by you forever because God has put it in her heart to do that!

You had a faithful heart toward her, only because you did not know her true feelings toward you!

Her present actions disclose her true deep feelings about you!

Use these newly revealed facts to disconnect your heart from someone who was being dishonest with you and probably using you as a convenient social support!

Don't be afraid of future relationships!

It's not easy discovering who God has picked out for you.

She isn't the one obviously!

But there is a faithful girl out there who will think you are above all the rest!

It happens to all of us eventually, if we patiently pursue God's perfect match for us!

If we get in a hurry and pick the convenient match, we will have troubles/heartache/surprises!

Forgive her for mistreating you horribly.

Forgive yourself for not realizing her true motives toward you.

Thank God for saving you from a wrong relationship!

Seek Him for a right relationship with a better quality person!

One mistake care-givers make is they pick people to care for.

That is fine as a ministry, but bad as a relationship!

A relationship needs to be mutually loving/respectful/caring/committed.

Look for those qualities in your next relationship.

Watch your own heart to see what you really feel for a girl, and watch and pray for God to show you what a girl feels for you!

Praying for you!

You are an awesome example of a Christian man!

God Bless you abundantly!

Your friend, TF

 

[CGL1023]

Hey, so I'm new here. I posted in this thread because I didn't know where else to.

If you're reading this, thank you very much. I appreciate that you're willing to hear what I have to say. I've talked about this with many other people, but decided to present this to a new crowd.

So, here's what's going on:

First, this has to do with relationships. Hope you don't see to many posts about this, but this has been a very high and serious concern of mine.

I'll start by saying that I was in a very healthy relationship with this girl for over a year and a half. This wasn't a high school relationship or anything light, I can honestly say she's been my best friend. We're both over 19 now. We talked to each other about everything, prayed with each other, and for our relationship, and were always open to discuss Biblical ideas. Both of us are looking to be full-time missionaries.

Last August, she left for an out-of-country YWAM DTS, a sort of missionary training school. She would be gone for six months. We live about three hours apart, but I drove up there to send her off at the airport with her family. She really appreciated that.At the start of January, she left for her mission trip portion of the school. She'll be back home in February.

Over the course of her trip, I would call her, pray for her, and give her the encouragement and support she needed. Our timezones were different, but staying up extra late to make calls work didn't matter to me. I donated money for her mission portion to work, and she was extremely grateful.

Now, maybe a day after I had made that donation, she called me. She was in tears and told me of how she learned that "God doesn't want her to be in a relationship with me anymore".

I was shocked and freaking out, and I asked her what the reason was. She told me that God had told her the name of her future husband.

She told me this all right before leaving for her mission trip, so contacting her has been almost impossible. But I learned new things over the following weeks.

Apparently, the person "God" was telling her to marry turned out to be part of her YWAM team. Even further, this guy was being told the same thing (and he broke off a very committed girlfriend because of this, as well).

So, naturally, I wasn't happy. If breaking up was bad enough, the fact that another guy was involved sent me off the rails. I told her that she needed to check herself. That she might not be getting this all from God, that what she was saying sounded bizarre, and suspicious.

I asked her how God was telling them all this, and she told me that at first she thought she heard it as a voice in her head while she was worshipping in church.
Then, she explained to me this practice she would do with her mentors, called "Holy Spirit talks". This is where it gets weird.

Basically, according to her, these Holy Spirit talks are done with two people. Person 1 has a question, and will ask it to Person 2, with no context, so broken down into only a few words (such as "who and what?"). Person 2 then repeats these words to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives them an answer, which Person 2 will repeat to Person 1.

By doing this, she was able to "confirm" with her mentors that I was being too much of a distraction for her, and that she was supposed to marry her YWAM friend. Besides that, she's also mentioned to me how she's gotten involved in modern day prophecy, and praying in tongues. Both of these are things she felt uncomfortable with before she left. All this is telling me is that being at YWAM for so long has changed her views around in many ways.

It's bizarre. It can't be backed up by the bible. It's something I never heard of before, and yet she's completely sold on it.

So here's the notes I have:
-She broke up with me because God told her the name of her future husband.
-This "future husband" turned out to be on her team.
-This guy was being told the same thing.
-Everyone else on her team helped her "confirm" it and just so happened to all be thinking the same thing.

It sounds very suspicious on how conveniant it all worked. My thoughts right now is that she is either A: Using God as an excuse to get with a different guy, B: Fully believing this is all from God without taking much time to pray and think about it on her own, or C: a mix of both.

I've been trying to learn more. I hope to meet with her in person once she's back, so we can discuss it in person, even though she's not planning on thinking twice about it. She's been ignoring me this last week and doesn't seem to want to talk to me anymore, but I believe she's just waiting for her mission trip to end before talking to me again.

So, here's my concerns:

First, that she's using God to back her on breaking up and getting with another guy. She firmly believes it, but I don't. I don't think God would be telling her things like this. I don't think He would have us go through all that we did together just to have her replace me with someone else. It's like some kind of modern day prophecy. I've seen many people be under the impression that God told them to marry someone, and it never works out. I don't want to see her get hurt by this.

Second, these "Holy Spirit talks". The fact that her mentors encouraged her to do this is beyond crazy. I have no idea what's going on over there, but I know this strange practice is wrong. It's not in the bible, no church leader I've spoken to has even heard of it before. And even IF it was a thing, I don't think it would focus on relationships.

Third, this is a complete change of character for her. Her personality with me has gone from sweet and caring to cold and immature. She cuts me off when I try to talk to her, and logs off whenever I show a shred of disagreement.

I was really good to her I thought, I can't think of anything I really did wrong in the relationship. The fact that another guy is with her right now, in a completely different country, is a harsh thought. The fact that she tries to ignore me now, and gets mad at me for being concerned, is depressing. I don't think God speaks to people in the way shes described, and I don't think she's in the right mind about this. I don't believe we can get answers from the Holy Spirit whenever we feel like it, and I especially don't think God focuses on relationship advice. But she's treating all this like she's making a giant sacrifice. She's told me it's the only way she can follow God's plan for her, which just sounds like an excuse at this point.

So, I need prayer. I am praying myself, but I need more people to be as well.

She's hurt me beyond measure by this. But I want to keep discussing this with her before she's sure. It doesn't sound right to me, or anyone else I've talked to about it. It certainly doesn't sound like something from God.

She needs prayer, I need prayer. I need help distancing myself from her. I need wisdom in how I talk with her and how I handle this situation.

I don't have any hope for our relationship anymore. It's over. But I do think she's being misled in her thinking, and needs to pray on it more. Especially when she's home and away from the influence of this overseas team.

Am I wrong for how I'm thinking about this? I can't accept that she's solely doing this for God, I'm not even sure how true that statement is. Thank you for reading all this.

What are your thoughts?

The only thing I can think is to let her go, even if she is confused, deluded or completely led astray. If this can happen once, it can happen again and that next time could be when it can't be undone.