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Ethics & Morality
[Moved from Singles]A questions specificly for the women in this forum
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<blockquote data-quote="Waddler" data-source="post: 66219980" data-attributes="member: 356011"><p>This is going to sound harsh, but I assure you, it's just friendly advice that has helped me:</p><p></p><p>1. Move your computer into an area where it will be more public, if you live with others. If that means you have to take the door off your bedroom, do that. If you live by yourself, find a Brother in Christ you can be accountable to, and look into accountability software that will keep your Brother apprised of your Internet activity. Programs like that are free and available at XXXChurch.com.</p><p></p><p>2. If you need to and can do so, get rid of your Internet access. Forget social media, forums, and the like; just cancel the service and get rid of it. Most inappropriate content goes through the Internet.</p><p></p><p>3. Don't fall into the trap of trying to keep track of the days since you looked at inappropriate content. That will make you think more about inappropriate content, and you are more liable to crack.</p><p></p><p>4. Be wary and vigilant if joining a men's group for support. They can be a great resource, but almost every group I've joined (especially online) has at least one guy for whom the groups are a fetish. In other words, if someone approaches you in an accountability group and seems overly interested in your specifics (types of inappropriate content, frequency you look at it, whether or not you touch, etc.), tell him (as politely as possible) that you don't discuss such things with anyone except your therapist. The same goes for if he tries to tell you his specifics, even if he seems to be "pouring out his soul." Tell him you don't want to hear it, because it will be a stumbling block to you. Feel free to interrupt him, again as politely as possible. Whatever you do, don't give in to his questions, and--after the group meeting or whenever it's easiest--alert the group leader in private about the member. Do not accuse him of being a fetishist, but state what he did and why you found it suspicious. Let the leader take it from there.</p><p></p><p>5. Find a therapist or counselor, preferably one recommended by your pastor. Attend meetings with the person. Do not miss meetings for inexcusable reasons (sleeping in, not feeling like going, etc.). Essentially, unless a shark jumped out of your toilet and bit your legs off, you don't have a reason not to go.</p><p></p><p>Your significant other would be hard-pressed to accuse you of not trying if you have done these things.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Waddler, post: 66219980, member: 356011"] This is going to sound harsh, but I assure you, it's just friendly advice that has helped me: 1. Move your computer into an area where it will be more public, if you live with others. If that means you have to take the door off your bedroom, do that. If you live by yourself, find a Brother in Christ you can be accountable to, and look into accountability software that will keep your Brother apprised of your Internet activity. Programs like that are free and available at XXXChurch.com. 2. If you need to and can do so, get rid of your Internet access. Forget social media, forums, and the like; just cancel the service and get rid of it. Most inappropriate content goes through the Internet. 3. Don't fall into the trap of trying to keep track of the days since you looked at inappropriate content. That will make you think more about inappropriate content, and you are more liable to crack. 4. Be wary and vigilant if joining a men's group for support. They can be a great resource, but almost every group I've joined (especially online) has at least one guy for whom the groups are a fetish. In other words, if someone approaches you in an accountability group and seems overly interested in your specifics (types of inappropriate content, frequency you look at it, whether or not you touch, etc.), tell him (as politely as possible) that you don't discuss such things with anyone except your therapist. The same goes for if he tries to tell you his specifics, even if he seems to be "pouring out his soul." Tell him you don't want to hear it, because it will be a stumbling block to you. Feel free to interrupt him, again as politely as possible. Whatever you do, don't give in to his questions, and--after the group meeting or whenever it's easiest--alert the group leader in private about the member. Do not accuse him of being a fetishist, but state what he did and why you found it suspicious. Let the leader take it from there. 5. Find a therapist or counselor, preferably one recommended by your pastor. Attend meetings with the person. Do not miss meetings for inexcusable reasons (sleeping in, not feeling like going, etc.). Essentially, unless a shark jumped out of your toilet and bit your legs off, you don't have a reason not to go. Your significant other would be hard-pressed to accuse you of not trying if you have done these things. [/QUOTE]
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