(Moved) A question for wives

[Debbie_S]

Do you find it difficult to 'obey' your husband in line with Scripture? A controversial question, I know. It's something I have struggled with over three years of marriage.

 

[Tolworth John]

Why do people Always take this command out of contex.

May I surgest that you ask your husband how he feels about loving you, wait for ir, as Christ loved the church?

Are you happy being loved sacrifically by your husband?
If he loves you that much is any ' command' he gives really going to be difficult to obey?

 

[Debbie_S]

Anything in the Bible can be taken out of context and, in my repeated experience, people do this all the time. It seems like people find verses to support the point they want to make, and then anything else becomes 'symbolic'. It's so hard to make sense out of the whole thing or to find any real objectivity because there are so many interpretations. People are continually cherry picking the bits they like and ignoring the verses that don't fit with their worldview. That's one reason I've struggles do hard with continuing in the faith. I can't find the 'right' interpretation of the Bible - if indeed there is a right one. And I've known a lot of people who can't just blindly conform to what their leaders have said. I'm one of them.

 

[snoochface]

Anything in the Bible can be taken out of context and, in my repeated experience, people do this all the time. It seems like people find verses to support the point they want to make, and then anything else becomes 'symbolic'. It's so hard to make sense out of the whole thing or to find any real objectivity because there are so many interpretations. People are continually cherry picking the bits they like and ignoring the verses that don't fit with their worldview. That's one reason I've struggles do hard with continuing in the faith. I can't find the 'right' interpretation of the Bible - if indeed there is a right one. And I've known a lot of people who can't just blindly conform to what their leaders have said. I'm one of them.

The "right" translation of the Bible is the one that is shown to you by the Holy Spirit as you read God's word, meditate on what you are reading, and pray for the Holy Spirit to give you understanding. Translations do not change the meaning of God's word.

 

[Tolworth John]

who can't just blindly conform to what their leaders have said. I'm one of them.

That is correct as we are told to test the spirits, to test the message being preached to us to see that it comforms to what scripture says.

Eph 5: 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church – 30 for we are members of his body. 31 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ 32 This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Read the whole passage and you will see why I asked about a husband having a sacrifical love for his wife.

It is not a case of, ' I'm the husband, and the wife is my willing servant.' but rather a case of two people working together.

The husband is no more superior to the wife than God the Father is superior to Jesus.

 

[Tolworth John]

Don't be afraid to chalenge a preacher.
We used to have among us a retired missionary who would pull up our minister on any biblical inacuracies or questionable theological statements. This was always done quitely and respectfully.

A tale from the past, Duncan Campbell a scotish revial preacher in the 1930s and 40's tells of his upbringing that male pride often took a beating when questions of scripture were referred to mother.

Be that quite source of knowledge in the church and in your family.

 

[Chichi Perez]

Do you find it difficult to 'obey' your husband in line with Scripture? A controversial question, I know. It's something I have struggled with over three years of marriage.

It takes a lot of swallowing my pride and ego sometimes, personally speaking. Nothing makes me more like Christ than these types of struggles though along with many other commands of the bible. I don't think the bible says to "obey" your husband. Ultimately we obey the Word and hopefully our husbands are in line with it. But, if my husband told me to sin I would have to say no. So, it doesn't really say to "obey" him, but to RESPECT him. this does include things like letting him make household decisions and not overstepping his authority in that sense. It also means not belittling him or arguing with him or being condescending in anyway. I think of it like trying to treat him like I would treat my boss. I wouldn't argue with my boss, I would respect their thoughts and decisions as valuable. It helps me to always remember that I submit to my husband and respect him so that I am in obedience to GOD and GOD's commands and GOD's wat. It is completely irrelevant whether my husband "deserves" respect. He could be completely unworthy of respect (in our own eyes_ sometimes but nobody is perfect and we are to ALWAYS submit to him whether or not we THINK he deserves it because Jesus died on the cross for us so that we can have eternal life. He is worthy of our obedience and submission to Him and His commands. In the same light, God does not command husbands to love their wives when they deserve it. It says to love their wife. In my experiences, life and marriage as gotten a LOT easier and peaceful for everyone when I quit disobeying God and stop getting in His way. God makes it this way so that we can be happier and do things the way they are meant to be. We come from man, not man from woman. Husbands are our authority. It takes time and patience and probably a million mistakes, but I really encourage all wives reading this to really focus on how to respect their husbands because if we don't, they will shut down and we will run our marriages to the ground. Theres my two cents. Im sorry this was so long. lol

 

[Bumble Bee]

According to 1 Peter 3, men are also to respect their wives because women are their equal under God.

 

[Paidiske]

I see the Scriptural ideal as one of mutual submission and love, not hierarchical domination and obedience.

 

[Enilorac]

My husband never expected me to "obey" him. That wasn't his style. He said if he wanted something to obey him, he'd have a dog. I loved him beyond reason and he loved me even more. We were partners in life, we lived out our vows...better/worse, richer/poorer, sickness/health until his death did part us 3 years ago. 14 days from now should be our 24th wedding anniversary. We made it to just shy of 21 years.

 

[Aldebaran]

 

[Debbie_S]

Thank you for much thought provoking input has given me much to consider. Sorry I have been a while getting back

 

[stevevw]

Do you find it difficult to 'obey' your husband in line with Scripture? A controversial question, I know. It's something I have struggled with over three years of marriage.

I think there is one law that sums all the laws, well two really. The first is to love God with all your heart. The second is to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Neighbor has no distinction regarding gender or race.