Mother doesn't think I should be with my boyfriend

[Kinzie]

I am a 24 F recently graduated and living at home to save up money for my own apartment. My boyfriend and I dated for a little over 2 years at first and everything was going great, we are both Christians and never really had any problems in our relationship. However, we did break it off for a few reasons. I thought about going overseas to live and work for awhile and with graduation and a senior thesis stress we hadn't spoken much and our relationship was feeling weird. However, after we broke up we quickly realized that that was a mistake and so we started talking again and took things slow and now we're back together. We realized we should have worked through everything together, and I am no longer going overseas. So, we are now back together and very happy. However, my mom doesn't like that we are back together. She has talked to me and has told me that she likes my boyfriend and that we had a good relationship but she doesn't think he's the one for me. She's very opinionated about this. She tells me that God has told her that he's not the one and so she believes that we shouldn't be together. She'll also say things like "we bring the worst out in each other" but then uses examples like "if he's being lazy then I will also be lazy and not want to go out" but has no real examples beyond this, so it doesn't seem to actually be bad. However, when I talk to other family members and friends about everything (all of which are also Christians) they tell me they think it's great that we're back together. I've talked to my young adult group leader and he thinks its awesome that we found each other again. My mom is the only one that thinks otherwise. Not that it matters, but my mom is a traditional asian and so its always felt like its her way or the highway and other family members are too scared to argue with her so they'll always agree with her. However, when I go and talk to them then they'll say what they really think. I know she just wants the best for me and I can't say I think she's lying about God saying he's not the one. But I can't say I believe her either. I get a feeling that she internally just doesn't want me with him because of the whole "no one is good enough for my daughter" thing. I tell her that these other Christian figures in my life think it's great that we're back together and that they've prayed or we've prayed together about this. But she asks, if they pray about it everyday because she did and she prayed about it all the time, and she says it like its a competition or something. Since we started dating again she's backed off and isn't as opinionated as before but I know she feels the same way. But I do love and care about my mom so it would make me feel a lot better with her approval. Especially when my dad and aunts and other family members think its great. I have always listened to my mother my whole life on most things, so this is honestly one of the first things where I haven't just done what she says. So, I'm questioning if God is letting this happen to teach me to be my own person and make my own decisions whether they're right or wrong without my mother hovering over me. And to help me stand up to her (not in a bad way but I'm very timid and shy and won't usually stand up for myself and my mom is the hardest person to stand up to) and make me a stronger person. Or maybe my mom is possibly right and everyone else is wrong? I'd be more inclined to believe her if everyone else was saying the same thing but they aren't and I haven't had God tell me that he isn't the one, so she's the only one who thinks this. So, I was wanting some third party opinions possibly and see what everyone else thinks.

 

[sandman]

short and sweet
God will always tell the person involved (that would be you) First...
If you don't adhere to Gods admonishment "Then" he will work with others.

I don't like to disavow what someone (your mom) may be feeling...but as far as how God works... it's you or your BF first.

 

[Skye1300]

I am a 24 F recently graduated and living at home to save up money for my own apartment. My boyfriend and I dated for a little over 2 years at first and everything was going great, we are both Christians and never really had any problems in our relationship. However, we did break it off for a few reasons. I thought about going overseas to live and work for awhile and with graduation and a senior thesis stress we hadn't spoken much and our relationship was feeling weird. However, after we broke up we quickly realized that that was a mistake and so we started talking again and took things slow and now we're back together. We realized we should have worked through everything together, and I am no longer going overseas. So, we are now back together and very happy. However, my mom doesn't like that we are back together. She has talked to me and has told me that she likes my boyfriend and that we had a good relationship but she doesn't think he's the one for me. She's very opinionated about this. She tells me that God has told her that he's not the one and so she believes that we shouldn't be together. She'll also say things like "we bring the worst out in each other" but then uses examples like "if he's being lazy then I will also be lazy and not want to go out" but has no real examples beyond this, so it doesn't seem to actually be bad. However, when I talk to other family members and friends about everything (all of which are also Christians) they tell me they think it's great that we're back together. I've talked to my young adult group leader and he thinks its awesome that we found each other again. My mom is the only one that thinks otherwise. Not that it matters, but my mom is a traditional asian and so its always felt like its her way or the highway and other family members are too scared to argue with her so they'll always agree with her. However, when I go and talk to them then they'll say what they really think. I know she just wants the best for me and I can't say I think she's lying about God saying he's not the one. But I can't say I believe her either. I get a feeling that she internally just doesn't want me with him because of the whole "no one is good enough for my daughter" thing. I tell her that these other Christian figures in my life think it's great that we're back together and that they've prayed or we've prayed together about this. But she asks, if they pray about it everyday because she did and she prayed about it all the time, and she says it like its a competition or something. Since we started dating again she's backed off and isn't as opinionated as before but I know she feels the same way. But I do love and care about my mom so it would make me feel a lot better with her approval. Especially when my dad and aunts and other family members think its great. I have always listened to my mother my whole life on most things, so this is honestly one of the first things where I haven't just done what she says. So, I'm questioning if God is letting this happen to teach me to be my own person and make my own decisions whether they're right or wrong without my mother hovering over me. And to help me stand up to her (not in a bad way but I'm very timid and shy and won't usually stand up for myself and my mom is the hardest person to stand up to) and make me a stronger person. Or maybe my mom is possibly right and everyone else is wrong? I'd be more inclined to believe her if everyone else was saying the same thing but they aren't and I haven't had God tell me that he isn't the one, so she's the only one who thinks this. So, I was wanting some third party opinions possibly and see what everyone else thinks.

If you guys get along great and love each other, then stay together. Your mom can't live your life for you.