More Unwanted Thoughts

[Hermit7]

Just today things have been a little hard. Usually as the week wears on, it becames harder and harder to ignore these intrusive thoughts.

Just this past day or two, the following has happened to me:

1.) I was waking up in the morning and the thought came into my mind that somehow I felt myself saying "Yes" to in my mind. It was that if I slept at a certain position I would be giving up my salvation. I eventually turned over to that position, because I thought I made a provision for it (asking God to ignore these things). But then I realized that maybe I didn't so I turned back and now I'm afraid to ever sleep in that position.

2.) I was in the middle of doing a task at work. I then felt the thought coming into my mind that I would rather give up my salvation than skip over this task and not do it. I tried to convince myself that the thought didn't "count" or that God will ignore such a thought and I went ahead and did it. By I couldn't complete it, because I was afraid that maybe it did "count".

3.) I had a thought that if I ever bought groceries than old bargains that I put to rest in the past would suddenly be valid again and I would be back into the bondage of possibly losing my salvation because of other things.

All in all, I'm afraid of all these things and it really sucks.

-Hermit

 

[babegirl111]

Dont let this OCD stuff get you down. I know its extremeley tough but you have to try and fight the anxiety as hard as you can. Ignore the thoughts or better yet replace them with positive thoughts. All theses thoughts, losing your salvation is nothing but your OCD trying to get you down. Dont give up....praying for you!!

 

[dusk26]

That sounds tough. I also have those intruding thoughts and I always have to switch up my rituals according to what the OCD "says". I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

 

[Riverz]

i wrote this the other day, and want to share it with you, I am learning to live and be Christ like with OCD

Come Here. I have something to tell you.
Its the way I walk with God,
The way I talk with God,
The way I get all awkward with God
That let's me control, capture,
to take Hold...in a way
that thought that intrudes on me...in a way
that come in and out without asking...in a way
that distract me and keep me busy...in a way
Thoughts that never used to leave
the way I would like them to leave...
Quietly.
No, no no... LEAVING LOUDLY!!!
Always Making a scene...for EVeryone to see.

Leaving marks, marring up his masterpiece
Like a Shining, leaving a Trail
To Be Followed by Anything that is AFTER me.

Not anymore...I don't need to flee.
I was made for Greater...in a way
Just THIS WAY...This is how I am meant to be

I BELIEVE he has EMPOWERED me
To cause these thoughts to become more insight to see what could be
rather than whats to become of me.

And IF I AM to be OCD
Then let me be obsessed in He.
He that made me this way.
And Let my compulsions be In He,be Compelled by the things HE puts in me
and in the way of me.

Let He that is Perfect bring Order to this disorder.
Let He that is Perfect be perfect in me, To Perfect Me,
to Show me how to be JUST LIKE HE!

- Rebecca Bowman Dickerson 3-2012