More Than One Way To Worship?

[WebHeadedHero]

Hi,

I have a question concerning my Christianity and my new girlfriend. She seems to think that, since my relationship with God is different from her's, I am either not strong in my faith or that I am not being a good Christian.

I will elaborate on why my girlfriend thinks this but, firstly, I take offense to her doubting me since I have always considered myself to be a Christian. I am baptized, confirmed, I'm waiting until marriage to have sex (unlike her), I went to church and bible school every week until I was 18 (currently 22), I could go on all day but in attempt to keep this brief I'll stop there. The point is I fully believe myself to be a Christian. I believe in God, Jesus, I've read the bible, but one thing I do not do is pray.

Prayer has never been helpful to me. I know God is there to listen if I need him but I've discovered that, when it comes to my experiences, God has given me all the tools I need to solve any problem I encounter and that all I have to do is use those tools to fix it. Those tools can be my health, my friends, my family, anything but I just don't get any relief from asking God to do it for me.

It would be an understatement to say that I have been through some rough times in the past but each of those times were only improved when I got off my knees, stopped praying, and used the tools God gave me to fix my problems. I don't believe this is the "one way" to fix things or that if you don't do what I do that you're "wrong" but this method works best for me.

Also, I don't go to church regularly due to the options in my area being either extremely modern or extremely conservative (To clarify I don't think either option is bad but they're just not for me). All I want is something in the middle but I just can't seem to find it. I do go to the very modern church with my girlfriend when she asks but, after growing up in a very traditional church, I feel uncomfortable during the service and I don't care for the preacher's sermons or message.

My girlfriend thinks I'm wrong for doing these things. She tells me that I need to be closer to God even though I'm very happy with my current relationship with him. I know it bothers her that I am not the kind of Christian who takes notes in their bible and always has a Christian Rock Spotify playlist ready to go like she does (which I both admire and accept her for) but that's just not my way of staying close to God. I've tried explaining that everyone is different but I just don't think she agrees. In her mind there is one right way to do it and a million wrong ways.

What can I do to help her understand? And tank you for taking the time to help.

 

[RobertMerton]

Prayer is important. Even Jesus prayed.

As for your situation, what do you desire? To know God more? Or to keep him as a mutual facebook friend?

 

[Vandy]

You spent an astounding amount of time listing off all the things that you do and don't do in life which supposedly supports your claim that you are a Christian. What you did not mention was the gospel of Jesus Christ and a new identity of being an adopted son of God. Being a Christian is not about you doing the right things. It is about you having had a personal encounter with the God of the universe, and about him leaving his mark on you. Has that happened to you? I'm not impressed by your human feats. If God is not changing you more into his likeness, then it is certain that you do not yet know him.

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test! ~1 Cor 13:5

 

[MaryEllenG]

Faith is incredibly personal. Personally, I think that as long as you have a relationship with God that is meaningful and close from your perspective, it's no one else's business. I understand that she might not understand, but I would just remind her that you determine your own faith and that your relationship is between you and Him.

 

[Dave-W]

Faith is incredibly personal.

It is not supposed to be. That is a modern western invention.

 

[Jamminontha1]

Hi,

I have a question concerning my Christianity and my new girlfriend. She seems to think that, since my relationship with God is different from her's, I am either not strong in my faith or that I am not being a good Christian.

I will elaborate on why my girlfriend thinks this but, firstly, I take offense to her doubting me since I have always considered myself to be a Christian. I am baptized, confirmed, I'm waiting until marriage to have sex (unlike her), I went to church and bible school every week until I was 18 (currently 22), I could go on all day but in attempt to keep this brief I'll stop there. The point is I fully believe myself to be a Christian. I believe in God, Jesus, I've read the bible, but one thing I do not do is pray.

Prayer has never been helpful to me. I know God is there to listen if I need him but I've discovered that, when it comes to my experiences, God has given me all the tools I need to solve any problem I encounter and that all I have to do is use those tools to fix it. Those tools can be my health, my friends, my family, anything but I just don't get any relief from asking God to do it for me.

It would be an understatement to say that I have been through some rough times in the past but each of those times were only improved when I got off my knees, stopped praying, and used the tools God gave me to fix my problems. I don't believe this is the "one way" to fix things or that if you don't do what I do that you're "wrong" but this method works best for me.

Also, I don't go to church regularly due to the options in my area being either extremely modern or extremely conservative (To clarify I don't think either option is bad but they're just not for me). All I want is something in the middle but I just can't seem to find it. I do go to the very modern church with my girlfriend when she asks but, after growing up in a very traditional church, I feel uncomfortable during the service and I don't care for the preacher's sermons or message.

My girlfriend thinks I'm wrong for doing these things. She tells me that I need to be closer to God even though I'm very happy with my current relationship with him. I know it bothers her that I am not the kind of Christian who takes notes in their bible and always has a Christian Rock Spotify playlist ready to go like she does (which I both admire and accept her for) but that's just not my way of staying close to God. I've tried explaining that everyone is different but I just don't think she agrees. In her mind there is one right way to do it and a million wrong ways.

What can I do to help her understand? And tank you for taking the time to help.

I hated prayer and thought it was pointless until my church had a 21 days of prayer challenge. It completely changed my relationship with God from some supreme giant being who controls my salvation to a Father who cares about my heart.

I think the thing that I didn't realize about prayer was that I was treating God like a boss instead of speaking to him "face-to-face." Once I started to tell God openly and honestly about every aspect of my life, even the parts I didn't like, I grew on a dramatic scale.

Try it out. God won't disappoint you. What's the point of going to your Father's house, reading his books, but never speaking to him? It's pretty awkward at first to start off, just like any friendship, but just wait and see. It will become habitual to pray soon enough.