Mood disorder

[DoubtingThomas29]

To whoever is out there,

I am having problems at work, it has only been for a little while, but hopefully it will get better. Thankfully at my job, I am not tissue paper to them, because I stay out of trouble, and they need a lot of help. Right now I am scheduled for 50 hours this week. So I know they need me, but I have difficulty doing certain duties quickly, and I work at a fastfood restaurant.

My supervisor has been getting on my nerves at work. I try to not get her mad at me, but I can't get certain duties done in a fast enough time, and she just gets frustrated with me, and I don't like that. I need to calm down about this, and just pray to Jesus, to enlighten me to be patient enough to get a job done right,even in the face of the problem of them not training me right, on anything. This place trained me how to make french fries and that is it. I get yelled at a lot, and put down sometimes. Jesus give me the strength to get through this so I can get home and meditate, and invision being on a nice beach in Rhode Island, right off the atlantic, where it is nice and peaceful.

I hope you don't mind that I talked about Jesus, while infact being an atheist really, but even I have to have a higher power at times to get me through the day. To me my higher power is not entirely real to me, but at times I can pretend so strongly, and imagine so well, that he almost seems real, for the moment.

How about you? Do you have imaginary friends you like to talk to, and imagine conversations with them at work during stressful times? Or do you just talk to Jesus and that is it for you? You could have some imaginary friends if you wanted too, or imagine the spirit of a dead relative with you during some crisis. Active imaginations are your friend, I know I got one, I just need to use it a little more,and I probably will be using it tomorrow, and in memory of my good Christian friends, I justmight be imagining Jesus by my side getting me through tomorrow. Flipping burgers, wrapping sandwiches, and cleaning. I know I can do it.

Sincerely yours,

A Doubting Thomas

 

[Akathist]

Thomas, I hope that you are able to calm your thoughts so that you can focus on the task that you are working on. Relaxation like visualizing yourself on a beach or something can be very helpful to calm down, but it might distract you from focusing on your current work.

Learning to be in the here and now and really focus on the immediate task is not an easy thing to do but with practice it can be an excellent coping skill to help you in many other areas of your life in addition to work.

I suggest that you think about the steps you need to take to do a task. Think about what is the very next thing you need to do then as you are doing it focus on what you are doing and think also of what you will need to do next.

So often allowing our minds to wander around to other things can lead to lack of concentration and poor work performance. Learning to control your thoughts is one of the best keys to success in life.

I never mind anyone talking about Christ. He loves you very much and I am sure He is there with you as he is never apart from you!

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Thank you Akathist for your kind thoughts.

I just can't stand being yelled at by my boss, man I hate that, it is unnatural how much it upsets me. I get so angry I think I am going to pass out and hit the floor and have a seizure. I am going to tell her, if she thinks she is going to start yelling at us again, like she did yesterday, she has got another thing coming, I will have to tolerate it if she decides to do that, but you know what I will do? I will cover my ears and close my eyes and wait for her to quit yelling at me. Heh it is an eccentric thing to do, but I will not put up with that any more. That will get her to stop yelling at me, she'll think I am crazy, and say to her self "oh yeah, I remember now because he told me, he is bipolar, I can't yell at him, and then it will get better, she'll stop.

I am trying like hell to not make her mad. I really am, and if I get that lobby done at 11:15 PM, we will get out of the restaurant at 12:30 AM, I just know it.

There is another thing that can be done to make my job easier, and I will bring it up to her attention, and then everything will be fine. So, help me, all terrestial forces of nature.

Sincerely yours,

A doubting Thomas

 

[angelkiss]

Hi Thomas! It's really good to meet you. I've been away for a while and am glad you're here.
I know EXACTLY what you're talking about!! I've had a hard time working in the public due to flying off the handle so suddenly.
Though never being fired, I have lost control of myself numerous times and never cared who was around when I did. I'd end up taking it for about a month, then I'd quit and go to another. The longest I held down a job was a little over a year. (Afore my illness struck full force.) After that, it was a month here, a month there. I can't handle the pressure and am VERY quick to blow my top! Thus, leaving me here at home, taking care of my many animals....(which are a good coping skill for me)
I'm not much help when it comes to giving a solution to this problem, but I can say that we are here for you and you're in our prayers.
Good luck, and please keep us informed.
s and es!!

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Thank you Angle Kiss,

I hate to say it but, I know that I could wind up becoming disabled in the future. I really hope it doesn't happen because I want to work, but if my mood keeps getting destabled like that because people are getting under my skin, or flat out insulting me, then I'll collect disability, and have my medical all paid for.

I think though I could try being an entrepenuer with tutoring people in mathematics, or other sciences. Honestly I want to become a math teacher for high school. However even with that I really hope I can do it. If I can't because the students, just insist to not behave in class, then, I know I will be out of a job, andI will be collecting disability. Sadly, because I really wanted to make more money than what disability pays, but if I just can't do that, then I'll have to accept that.

How about you? Do you collect disability? I know you basically can't raise a family on disability, but I think with government assistance a person can support themselves.

Sincerely,

Thomas

 

[Alive again]

Thomas, glad to see you here posting. I have seen you posying now and then. I am like you any confrontation can be a trigger for me into anger or anxiety and decompensate me quickly. It is a huge challenge, esp in the workplace. I have been blessed in that my meds have helped control the anger for me in addition to some hard work in therapy, but boy do I still get the anxiety, and it is still hard to keep the anger at bay.

I am not currently working, but am in the process of returning to work and probably will be back in the workforce in early April. What you have is one of my biggest concerns. It is a shame that some industries do not do a better job training their people and esp their managers. Yelling is never a motivator for anybody. But you cannot change your manager, only yourself. You have gotten some excellent suggestions and thoughts here and it sounds as if you are planning on speaking up for yourself. Remember to do this as respectfully as possible, even though your manager has not treated you with respect.

I am glad to hear you are working with the coping skills you have and seeking new ones. That is indeed what life is all about for everyone, bp or not, or challenges are just different in living with this chronic illness called bp.

 

[BigToe]

*hugs* I don't really have much to say that would really help you. But I want you to know I care and will listen to anything you have to say.

 

[Jeshu]

Hi Thomas

One thing I would like to stretch is that living on social security is not ideal either. First of all the payments are very low, second of all it is hard to get back into the workforce, and thirdly in general it is harder to fight depression, especially if your are on your own at home.

I would advise you to keep your calm at work (if at all possible) and look for another job.

Gerry

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Hello Everyone,

Thank you for your comments and reading what I had to say. I work too many hours and wish I could get out more, but I need the money, so I just can't say no to all those hours.

I am doing better now because my boss hasn't yelled at me for a few days, and it feels great. However, I think I am getting better at my job so there just might be less of a chance to be yelled at by her.

I am actually planning on going into a new field, I am trying to get out of the fast food restaurant and get into teaching. I feel that I would not have this kind of problem with the children, because I would be put into a position of authority, and the children will know they have to listen to the teacher.

Honestly I have substitute taught before, my biggest problem with that job though is following the written instructions. Too many times I have either wanted to just kind of teach them some basic ideas of mine, or just kind of not follow the rules the teacher had laid out for the class. Rules are important to follow, and this time when I go to class, I will have to get there early and read how the instructor runs the class.

I do enjoy teaching Band, Gym, and alternative education students. I have to admit though if a teacher leaves me with nothing to do, I will be sure to tell the assistant principle this and probably have to start talking about the big bang theory and stellar evolution.

Sincerely,

Thomas

 

[angelkiss]

Hello again Thomas
It is good to know that you are doing better!
Hopefully the pressures will continue to subside and your job will be a little more enjoyable.

In regards to your above question: I am not currently on disability. I started the process several years ago, but got in one of my episodes around the time of appealing and dropped it! Sometimes I wish I would've continued for my meds run between $500-$700 a month atween the 3.
We're all pulling for you!!

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Having to pay $500 to $700 a month for medication, should be illeagal. That is all I am going to say about that though, because then my post will be taken down.

Try googling FreeMedications on the Internet and tell me what you find. Or try this web page

www.FreeMedicineFoundation.com

They might be able to tell you how to quit paying so much money for medication, and dont be afraid to file Bankruptcy if it get's that bad. Don't let bankruptcy be your last option. Unfortunately, bankruptcies don't get you free medication, but that web site might. Also, there is 1-800-50-MERCK.

Sincerely,

Thomas

 

[berry2000]

I agree with Thomas. That is way too much money and there must be a loophole. If you want maybe some of us here on the internet can help you figure out a way to get the med's cheaper. Like thomas said there are all kinds of programs and sometimes it is just too overwhelming to handle yourself. If you want you can PM me the meds and I"ll try to look into it. I am sure others would be willing to do the same for you angelkiss!

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Hello everyone,

Things are not perfect, but they are getting better. I am trying to stay out of childish arguents at work, and use the managers more to help me deal with people there. So, I might just stick it out throught the summer and then work some where else, like at a hotel or delivering pizzas. I might just try doing that sooner, but we will see.

Sincerely,

Thomas

 

[soundsalive]

hang in there thomas.

Sometimes I think disibility is in my future as well...
I wanted to go into music education myself...but in high school my mood problems started, and I never did follow through with a college audition.

 

[goldenviolet]

most med manufactor companies will have a sliding scale or free medicine program. most mental health clinics carry some type of literature or applications. call your local crisis line for referal; or physician. if you need help researching your area; pm staff for program ideas.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

I am going to quit my job and get another one, this is too stressful, I can't take it. I don't even know if I can last the two weeks there to give them the two weeks notice.

About those health clinics, it really would mean a lot to me if this post was not taken down. Please moderators, if you could just let me post and say how screwed up the health care system is, it would mean a lot to me.

I was going through a transition period with my health insurance. So I had no way to buy my medications for four weeks. I had to twist the arm of a nurse figuratively speaking until she gave me some free samples. Go to a hospital and get a coupon for meds that was only good for a two weeks supply a coupon that I could only get once a year or something outrageous like that.

Remember that phone number 1-800-4PPA-Now
I tried using their program, but because I live with my parents, they included their income and said "no we will not give you medication, because you make too much money working at McDonald's." While I am in bankruptcy mind you.

I harresed a nurse for like twenty minutes just bothering her to do something for me, point me in a right direction tell me of a voucher program something, but to no avail. My parents could not pay for the medications and she was bascally telling me "to go crazy, lose your job, and live in the street, then we will give you medicine."

I love my country, but I don't understand why it does not do more for the mentally ill?

Well that is about all I wanted to say about that, again please don't take my post down. I think I am staying in the rules, and besides, what mentally ill consumer doesn't have to complain about paying for medication in america. We may be the land of opportunity, and there are all kinds of jobs here to have, but it could do more for it's mentally ill, and other people with other medical problems.

Any ways, happy Easter everybody. It'll get better if we vote for people who want to make like health insurance, and health care affordable and possible for all it's citizens. Go vote.

Sincerely,

Thomas

 

[soundsalive]

Our healthcare systems needs to be reformed I agree.
Along with our very competitive economy...

 

[angelkiss]

Sorry I haven't responded for a while.
Yes, I also agree about the healthcare. It's stinks!!
I saw my therapist yesterday and she did up one of my meds til I get my new insurance. As my Seroquel is also for mood swings, she was able to give me samples out of her office to hold me over. I am now on 100-150 mgs during the day and 200-400 mgs at night. I hope to get my insurance soon for I really don't want to be on such a high dosage meanings Seroquel is apt to cause diabetes.
In the mean time I am going to check out the site that Thomas provided and berry, I thank you also for your help.
Thomas, I hope things will continue to get better for you. I know that it's been hard have'n to work under stressful conditions. Try and stay strong, I'm sure something better will come along soon.
s and es!!
Hope everyone had a good Easter!!

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

I have been away for a while but I wanted to wish you christians a happy belated Easter I hope you dont mind if it is a little late.

Sincerely,

Thomas

 

[sherr33]

Seroquel seems to help me with my BP. I am more BP 2 and it really helps me. I agree that medicine is so expensive. They need to do something.