molested

[lordsfootprints]

Hey, I really need some good Christian advice. That is why I joined the forum. I have recently been going through some problems. You see when I was in 4th grade I got sexually molested. I have tried to forget about it, and move on. But it lives with me everyday. I cant face everyday things that come up, such as if I see something provocative on t.v. or in person I freak out! I cant handle it. I get all sick to my stomach and almost ill. Well I have learned to try to control those feelings, to forget what happened to me, but just a few weeks ago, a family friend was charged for doing the same thing to small children. Finding that out brought up all the feelings that I had had , I keep having flashbacks of what happened to me when I was molested, and I have not been able to control my feelings of when I see provocative images on t.v. or in person. I am brought to tears almost every time, and get irreversibly depressed. I am also having problems forgiving the family friend for molesting the children. I want to be like Christ and forgive, but I just cant seem to, partly because I know that he did SO wrong, and that I once was molested. I don't know how I should feel, and I don't know how to handle what I am feeling. I have tried to talk to friends, and family, and have been through councouling, and I have prayed. But nothing has seemed to help. I don't know what to do, but it's ruining my life. Can anyone help?

 

[Gracie710]

Wow, it seems to really be haunting you. I can certainly offer some advice based on my own experiences.

It is a thing that you must walk through with the Lord. When you have that rush of sickness, grief, and fear, it's called being *triggered* in the "lingo." This is part of post-traumatic stress disorder. Anything that reminds you of what happened trips a mechanism in your mind that brings the shame, fear, and pain falling back on you. It's especially hard when you find out someone that you know is a perpetrator. It's kind of like, everyone can look okay on the surface, but how do you know who you can really trust?

I can say that it is very possible to heal and lead a full and productive life even in the midst of the pain. If you are experiencing depression and a lot of physical symptoms, and you are having a hard time functioning, please consider an antidepressant medication. They can help you deal with what happened to you until you no longer need them.

All I can say is trust the Lord and walk with Him. I have experienced Him so closely through my healing, and it has helped me to begin to bring healing to others.

Hope that helps.

 

[lordsfootprints]

thanks for your advice. It's nice to finally hear from someone that actually understands what is going on. Thank you so much! God Bless!

anymore help anyone can gie would we greatly appreciated

 

[2scoops]

I have a friend who was molested at the age 15, she is now 26. She has been through similar situations as yourself. She has now in the last couple of weeks told me that she was able to forgive this guy. She told me the next time she sees him, she will tell him that she forgives him and will witness to him. She told me that since she has forgiven him, it is like a weight has been lifted off of her. I believe forgiveness is key to your healing. Satan tells you you cannot forgive, but he is the father of lies. Jesus tells us that we can do ALL things through Him. He may not be able to forgive your molestor by yourself, but you definetly can through Christ. God said to give Him all of our cares because he cares for us. He ialso did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. We also know that ALL things workout for the good for those who love the Lord. Jesus also wants to take those things from us that hurt us, His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Your best bet, is to turn this over to the Lord. If your not sure you know how to or can't do it, then ask Jesus to show you. The bible says if you pray believing, then He says you will receive it. Lean on Jesus and you cannot go wrong, I promise you. God bless you.

 

[Stephanida]

Sweetie......first of all I want to give you a nice safe hug. You are very strong to have survived this long. First, hun get back in councelling!!! You seem to need it! There is no shame in asking for help. Go to the mental health clinic in your community and when you fill out the form about you, ask for a christian counceller if it will help you. That is what I have. A wonderful caring therapist who is also a devout christian. Sweetie it sounds as if you have PTSD, Post Tramautic Stress Disorder. I have it too. I was abused when I was in grade 6 just a little older than you were. I was molested and beaten for 5 years. Don't give up ever! You are doing so well to just be hanging on. It feels like you are in your own private hell right now I know and I know you are triggered a lot right now. I totally understand that. I have huge trouble with that. I can't promise it goes away, because to be honest with you, I don't know that. I can promise it gets better. A little by little and you won't even notice it getting better until one day you see one of your usual triggers and you don't feel as sick to your stomach as you used to. If you ever want to talk pm me. I have been in your shoes and still am. I still get horrible triggers. Horrible time with the things that trigger me, still feel sick to my stomach sometimes when I see some things. You aren't alone no matter how often you feel like that. Remember deceptive Satan is working against you. Trying to isolate you and depress you. Don't let him! You are the Lord's child and He loves you.

 

[Godsgirl481]

I was sexually abused from the age of 7 to 18. I have a really hard time with this as well. I freak out about the simplest of things....and feel as though I will never get better. I totally understand....hugs to you

 

[Johnnz]

Don't worry about the forgiveness thing yet. Get a few issues sorted out first.

You must face waht happened and its effects on you.Talking with a good counsellor can help, especially if they can also help you relate those experiences back to Christ. You can pour it all out to God, but without support from real people that can get a bit overwhelming for some people.

When you get a "flashback" just quietly pray "Lord Jesus, come into that area of my life and heal any hurts, soothe the pain and renew me from within. Thank you". Over a period of time you will begin to notice differences, but again I would advise getting wise support.

John
NZ