Modesty

[HolyGuardianAngels]

I try to dress as modestly as possible, especially, at Mass or Adoration.

However, during the summer, around the house, I will where shorts and sleeveless tops.

I feel I am responsible for the thoughts arosed in men, if I dress provocativly. The lustful thoughts could lead to sin in my spiritual brother. I'd like to avoid a "millstone" around my neck.

It may take a litle bit of planning and a little more money, to by the proper clothes... but for me, it's worth it... I don't want to be an occasion of sin for any man.

 

[bostonlass]

I have a real funny story about something that happened to me at work along these same lines. Actually, it's NOT funny it was pretty embarrassing. I hesitate to tell it.

Do you remember the SNL skit where the women aliens came down, and they had an adaptation? Their eyes were on their breasts because that was where the men naturally looked when talking to them. LOL! It was hysterical.
Well actually, I thought it was at the time, it's actually pretty degrading to women. But the point was made.

Michelle

Oh my gosh that scene is hysterical and yes I remember it!!!! It's sad but all too true sometimes.

 

[bostonlass]

or it looks like nylons...I would think that a pantyline is more...errr...arousing to a man than not seeing anything

Actually I always know when a woman is wearing a thong because I can see the line above it. I haven't ever looked to see if a guy is wearing one though.......don't even know if they make them for guys.........hmmmmmmmmmm..........

 

[BillH]

Oh my gosh that scene is hysterical and yes I remember it!!!! It's sad but all too true sometimes.

/me chuckles uncomfortably.

I pray a lot that I might be able to kick this habit, but it happens almost automatically when I'm around women wearing low-cut tops. As soon as I realize I'm doing it, I shift upwards, but... I wish that I didn't even start.

 

[Atomagenesis]

You people shouldn't be discussing that vile (thongs) on this board, it is totally inappropriate.

This "Mary-like" modesty, which is the best, is what all women should strive for. When a woman dresses like Mary it shows me that she has Jesus completely in her heart. When women do not dress like Our Blessed Mother, it shows me they have a lack of respect for their bodies and a lack of care for a man's occassion of sin.

If a women wears a thong, to me it says that she has a problem with vanity because she needs a peice of floss to make an excuse that a guy is looking at her rear end and doesn't want to see her panty line. If a women was striving to be a saint and show holy modesty she would not care at all if her panty line was showing because she doesn't want men looking at her rear anyway.

You may not think that a skirt to your knee's with high heels is a big deal, and showing your arms all the way up to your shoulders is either, but you have no idea what you are doing to men, or maybe you do and don't care. But I think since we are all striving to be saints here that women especially should strive to dress like Our Blessed mother, who was the most pure woman ever to exist.

Pax Christi,

Malcolm

 

[Miss Shelby]

* BillH chuckles uncomfortably.

I pray a lot that I might be able to kick this habit, but it happens almost automatically when I'm around women wearing low-cut tops. As soon as I realize I'm doing it, I shift upwards, but... I wish that I didn't even start.

I'll throw caution to the wind and tell my story. If you get a few tee-hees out of it that's fine, it is kinda funny, but it's also thoroughly embarrassing. And since none of you actually can see me... who cares?

I was at work one day sitting at my desk and working on the computer. This co worker of mine sits down across from me and says 'mornin' Michelle' I glance up at him and notice that he's staring at my chest. (I had a cotton shirt on, I guess it was kinda form fitting, but NO cleavage or anything was showing).. I said 'mornin' Greg' and looked back at what I was doing on the computer. He said 'how are you' I glanced back and his eyes were STILL on my chest and I am pretty sure his mouth was hanging open, too. I said 'I'm fine, how are you' He said 'Oh I'm fine I got some breast last night'... I looked up compeltely shocked and I exclaimed 'WHAT?!' and that's when he came out of his catatonic state, shook his head FINALLY removing his eyes from my chest and sputtered 'uh, um.. I got some rest last night'... and then it wasn't too long before he just walked off in embarrassment.

I was mortified. I went to one of my female co workers and told her what happened. I told her NOT to tell anyone. She laughed, we both did, even though I was utterly embarrassed.

Later that day at lunchtime, after I had forgotten the whole incident, I walk into the lunch room and there are at least 6 people in there. And one of them, a male, says 'So, Michelle, did Greg get some rest last night?' Then everyone cracked up. SHE TOLD EVERYONE.

How's that for mortifying?

Michelle

 

[BillH]

Michelle -- On behalf of men everywhere, I apologize.

 

[HisLittleOne]

You may not think that a skirt to your knee's with high heels is a big deal, and showing your arms all the way up to your shoulders is either, but you have no idea what you are doing to men, or maybe you do and don't care.

Personally, I think if a girl is wearing a skirt to her knees or a sleeveless shirt (not a tank top or speghetti straps, but just a regular sleeveless shirt) and a guy is having lustful thoughts about her, then there's something wrong with the GUY, not the girl. I'm all for dressing modestly, but a guy has to be able to control himself. I think sleeveless shirts and knee-length skirts are borderline and wouldn't go farther than that, but still...

 

[bostonlass]

OH my gosh Michelle that is so funny!!! I would have been so embarassed!!! I think embarassment has been my motivation to wear big shirts, though. I never knew how much men focus on women's bodies before since I don't focus on men's bodies. I had a similar wake up call and ever since then I don't wear shirts at work that are clingy.

 

[epiclesis]

knee length skirts are not bad. sleeveless shirts are not bad if they're not trying to show anything off.

do you think shorts are bad?

 

[Miss Shelby]

It wasn't all that clingy, but ever since then I either wear a sweater over or something a little bigger, which can make me look frumpy sometimes, but I don't care.


Michelle

 

[Miss Shelby]

Michelle -- On behalf of men everywhere, I apologize.

Thank you. I will accept that on the behalf of all men.

Michelle

 

[Ave Maria]

When you say "how far is too far"...do you mean in terms of modest clothing or immodest clothing?

I mean in terms of immodest clothing. Sorry, I should have kept that clear from the beginning.

 

[Ave Maria]

knee length skirts are not bad. sleeveless shirts are not bad if they're not trying to show anything off.

do you think shorts are bad?

Personally, I won't wear a sleeveless shirt unless I'm not going anywhere. And anymore, wearing anything but pants is really rare for me too. But the pants isn't for modesty, it's because I feel more comfortable in pants.

 

[bigsierra]

From http://www.catholicmodesty.com

St. Padre Pio and Modesty

*From: PROPHET OF THE PEOPLE by
Dorothy Gaudiose published by Alba House

Padre Pio wouldn't tolerate low-necked dresses or short, tight skirts, and he forbade his spiritual daughters to wear transparent stokings. Each year his severity increased. He stubbornly dismissed them from his confessional, even before they set foot inside, if he judged them to be improperly dressed. On some mornings he drove away one after another, until he ended up hearing very few confessions. His brothers observed these drastic purges with a certain uneasiness and decided to fasten a sign on the church door;

“By Padre Pio’s explicit wish, women must enter the confessional wearing skirts AT LEAST 8 INCHES BELOW THE KNEE. It is forbidden to borrow longer dresses in church and to wear them to confession.”

Let us avoid the slightest danger of offending God in this area or of being an occasion of temptation for our neighbor. May the fashions of the world not be the model for our attire, but rather the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Saints. Let us follow the Standards of Modesty in Dress, and remember the words of Our Lady to blessed Jacinta Marto of Fatima ………..

,.…”the sins which bring most souls to hell are the sins of the flesh. Certain fashions are going to be introduced which will offend Our Lord very much…the Church has no fashions; Our Lord is always the same…”

Standards of Modesty in Dress
Imprimatur dated Sept.24, 1956
“A dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat; which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows; and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees. Furthermore, dresses of transparent materials are improper.”
The Cardinal Vicar of Pius XII

 

[Globalnomad]

You people shouldn't be discussing that vile (thongs) on this board, it is totally inappropriate.

This "Mary-like" modesty, which is the best, is what all women should strive for. When a woman dresses like Mary it shows me that she has Jesus completely in her heart. When women do not dress like Our Blessed Mother, it shows me they have a lack of respect for their bodies and a lack of care for a man's occassion of sin.

If a women wears a thong, to me it says that she has a problem with vanity because she needs a peice of floss to make an excuse that a guy is looking at her rear end and doesn't want to see her panty line. If a women was striving to be a saint and show holy modesty she would not care at all if her panty line was showing because she doesn't want men looking at her rear anyway.

You may not think that a skirt to your knee's with high heels is a big deal, and showing your arms all the way up to your shoulders is either, but you have no idea what you are doing to men, or maybe you do and don't care. But I think since we are all striving to be saints here that women especially should strive to dress like Our Blessed mother, who was the most pure woman ever to exist.

Pax Christi,

Malcolm

Malcolm, puhleeze! As "HisLittleOne" said, there is a point at which it is the guy's problem, not the girl's. In a Western society, if a man is troubled by knees and sleeveless blouses, the problem is with him, not the girl. We'll take the blame when we show too much midriff, or wear skintight clothes or miniskirts or too much décolleté. Not before that.

Mary? Of course she must have been pure and modest in her heart, but we have NO idea how she dressed, in relation to her society's customs. Did she hitch up her dress to uncover her knees when she went to the lake to wash clothes? Did she roll up her sleeves to above her elbow when she kneaded bread? Did she let some hair show under her headdscarf? Those are all the equivalent of today's questions about sleeveless dresses and pantylines.

Oh, about thongs and pantylines. I'd be naive if I took the position that guys shoudn't look at my rear anyway. And a pantyline is going to draw MORE attention to it, not less. (Besides, I think it looks ugly and careless when I see it on other women. Why would I want other women to think the same when they look at me?)

 

[Globalnomad]

Sorry guys, I feel a bit passionate about this subject, living, as I said, in a Muslim country. When you see on a daily basis, how some women are made to dress - heavy black cloaks and wimples on hot, humid days, and sometimes even the dreaded face-veil - under the excuse of not tempting men (who consequently spend their days ogling those who are NOT dressed like that), you do become angry.

I'll never forget the little girl of eight or ten who was looking at my kids on the beach some years ago and crying, because she wanted to go into the water with them and learn to swim, but she had to sit there in her black shift and headscarf. I took her into the water, all dressed, and taught her a few movements, but it was impossible, of course, her clothes made her sink.

 

[Globalnomad]

From http://www.catholicmodesty.com

St. Padre Pio and Modesty

*From: PROPHET OF THE PEOPLE by
Dorothy Gaudiose published by Alba House

Padre Pio wouldn't tolerate low-necked dresses or short, tight skirts, and he forbade his spiritual daughters to wear transparent stokings. Each year his severity increased. He stubbornly dismissed them from his confessional, even before they set foot inside, if he judged them to be improperly dressed. On some mornings he drove away one after another, until he ended up hearing very few confessions. His brothers observed these drastic purges with a certain uneasiness and decided to fasten a sign on the church door;

“By Padre Pio’s explicit wish, women must enter the confessional wearing skirts AT LEAST 8 INCHES BELOW THE KNEE. It is forbidden to borrow longer dresses in church and to wear them to confession.”

Padre Pio was born a hundred years ago in one of the most conservative rural areas of southern Italy, and lived there all his life. And the dress-code mentioned in this text is for going to church, not for everyday life.

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

Padre Pio was born a hundred years ago in one of the most conservative rural areas of southern Italy, and lived there all his life. And the dress-code mentioned in this text is for going to church, not for everyday life.

You, interestingly left out the words from Our Blessed Mother at Fatima from your quote:
”

the sins which bring most souls to hell are the sins of the flesh. Certain fashions are going to be introduced which will offend Our Lord very much…the Church has no fashions; Our Lord is always the same…”

Ever heard the story of St, Maria Goretti? She did not just roll over and allow herself to be sexually assaulted- because it wasn't her fault--she defended her purity to her death-rather than be raped-and in any way participate in another's sin.. We should defend our purity and that of others heroically. If that means being veiled, so be it. Life here is but a blink of an eye, suffering here nothing to the fires of purgation that will come.

I just don't see the point in arguinging for an allowance for immodesty. And I assure you that none of my clothes are tight enough to reveal a panty line- while still being pretty and stylish.. I also think when I am dressed femininly, that men look not at my behind, but at me as a person--As many of our brothers on this board have stated.

We cannot pretend that we are all islands, living in a vacuum-- we are the Mystical Body- and just as I wouldn't put my hand into the fire, nor shall I endanger another in the Body of Christ.

This is not about what "I" want- because "I" do not exist outside of the Body of Christ. We are relational beings- created in the imagine and likeness of the Triune God.

 

[bostonlass]

knee length skirts are not bad. sleeveless shirts are not bad if they're not trying to show anything off.

do you think shorts are bad?

I said that I wear skirts in the summer.....well that's to work. I wear shorts when I'm not at work, as well as sundresses and skirts.

Bottom line, I don't wear anything outside the house that would make me feel like I'm putting myself on display. In the summer when everyone is wearing shorts and a t-shirt I don't stick out like a sore thumb so I don't think that's putting myself on display.....then again my shorts are not the type that are wicked short either though. I think to look at me, one would know that I"m obviously not trying to incite any lustful thoughts since I have no time whatsoever to put makeup on and I rarely do anything to my hair other than put a brush through it...............of course this is all to my mother's great dismay and is probably the reason I haven't had a date in over 6 months! lol.