Modesty survey results

[colleen]

I encourage everyone to read the results of this survey. 1,600 Christian guys took the time to take this very extensive survey, and I think we owe it to them to look at the results. I learned a lot!

http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse

 

[colleen]

I hope the guys take a look as well, because I'd like to see if they agree with the conclusions.

 

[MikeK]

Bizarre stuff, where did they get these guys? 25% of men feel that shoes with heels higher than 2" are a "stumbling block"? 25% think that a one piece swimming suit is immodest? Over 35% feel that seeing a bit of a swimsuit covered by clothing is a "stumbling block"?

Some guys must stumble pretty easily. Personally, I think it's these guys who have the problem, not the girls. There is certainly nothing immodest about wearing clothing over a swimsuit, even if <gasp!> a bit of the strp shows under your colar.

 

[faerieevaH]

There are a few things you have to keep in mind in interpreting this survey.
First of all (which we can immediately see in their own data), a disproportionate amount of the young men who replied have been homeschooled. Since homeschooling is often done for religious reasons, one can assume that in this survey the young men come from families where certain religious norms are much more emphasised.

Secondly, a lot of 'publicity' or invitation to partake in this survey comes from people who write or read modesty inspired blogs. I would be very interested in a repeat of this survey, interesting as it is, by general canvassing in the street, even if we would filter only christians as a result. For example, a few months ago at a pro life rally, I met the Bikers for Christ group. I would be surprised if the general results would be the same.

 

[skatepixie]

I agree with Mike on this one. I mean, if a guy has trouble with even that level, the problem is with him and his lack of self-control.

Esp with the swimsuit thing. Around here (southern california), a lot of girls throw a shirt and pants on over a swimsuit when they leave the beach. If you have a hard time with it, you would have a hard time anywhere you go.

The bra strap thing is crazy too, if it falls down, its a stumbling block, if you slide it up, it is then too...what's a girl to do?

 

[skatepixie]

The homeschooling thing makes sense. A lot of those guys have so rarely been around women their own age that they aren't "used to" seeing them. I think that's a "stumbling block."

 

[Rising_Suns]

I hope the guys take a look as well, because I'd like to see if they agree with the conclusions.

Interesting survery Colleen. I think it helps to show just how often guys struggle with temptation--even christian guys.

It would be helpful if more christian women could see these types of surveys.

-Davide

 

[colleen]

I see what you are saying Eva, and I do think it would be interesting to repeat the survey with random guys. At the same time I fully plan to take these guys words to heart. I dress modestly for God, but also to keep my fellow brothers from falling. If they took the time to be honest about what makes them stumble then isn't it my duty as a sister in Christ to lesson that struggle?

 

[colleen]

Just in case anyone doesn't know you have to click on the question to get the survey results.

 

[faerieevaH]

Of course, but on the other hand, I do think that I already know most of what I think is reasonable to expect from a woman and already do that. While I do wish to help my brothers, I will also not dress up in a one colour sack cloth because of the 10 percent in that survey that think a floral design short draws too much attention to the bust....

While I most certainly agree that we women should not seek a mans lust and should try to avoid provoking it, at certain stages in their life, some men may get excited by seeing a shiny rounded doorknob .... I'm not going to change these either to avoid being a stumbling block. If we started doign that, we avoid giving men the oportunity to grow in maturity.

 

[MikeK]

For the record, back when I might have been prone to stumbling it was just about always inspired by a girl who I thought was particularily beautiful. I don't recall her manner of dress turning me on very much. Granted, I suppose I prefered a skimpy bikini to a tarp-type swimsuit, but I never recall stumbling because of such. Beautiful girls always attracted me regardless of what they were wearing, and likewise, girls that didn't take such good care of themselves or have what I would describe as great looks wouldn't have caused me to stumble regardless of what they were or were not wearing. Beautiful women were always sexy no matter what they wore, and ugly girls were always ugly no matter what they wore. I would immagine women feel the same about men. Brad Pitt is sexy in swim trunks, and he's sexy in a tux. Michael Moore is probably not sexy to most women in either.

 

[skatepixie]

Yeah, I figured it was like that, Mike, because it definatly is that way for women when it come to men.

The other question is when does it cross the line over into lust/stumbling? How much is feeling attraction and when does that become a sinful lust? Surely, feeling a physical attraction is alright...

 

[Tigg]

Wow! I think these fella's have problems basically. Some questions and the answers were all right but gracious!! Don't blame me for problems you have...just saying...get a grip I recommend because of some of the answers I read.

Yes, I would like to hear the men here on this forum and what they think basically.

-Peace-

Edit: Get a grip might just be the wrong phrase. (Keeping hands to yourself kinda thing.) So, control yourself would be a better phrase. Lol...

 

[colleen]

There is a difference between attraction and lust. I think what Mike said applies to attraction. When numerous men tell me that deep v neck tops or two piece swimsuits make their minds wondere what else is there than I don't want to wear those things. I think you guys are being unfair to those who took the survey. With the high heels for example most of them said the shoes weren't a problem as long as the woman wasn't using them as an excuse to walk seductively. They also said they appreciated feminine dress, and recognized that in the end the buck stops with them. They are only asking for help, and I can't think of any their suggestions being so out there that I would be unwilling to consider them while dressing. For the most part it was what I already expected. At the same time I also know I need to rethink and most likely get rid of my shrugs, and need to think about whether the way I'm zipping or buttoning layers is drawing too much attention to my breats. I would have never thougt of layers like that being immodest, and I appreciate the guys being honest in their answers.

 

[Gwendolyn]

Personally I found this survey very interesting.

Read the text responses in the open questions and general/other category, especially the responses to the question, "If you could say one thing to your sisters in Christ about modesty, what would it be?"

This discussion goes on in the teen forum a lot, with the guys saying, "Please, girls, think of us when you dress, it's hard for us" and the girls mainly saying, "Whatever, we'll dress the way we want, learn to control yourselves."

The responses to the open questions and stuff are really interesting, and also very humbling.

 

[Rising_Suns]

Personally I found this survey very interesting.

Read the text responses in the open questions and general/other category, especially the responses to the question, "If you could say one thing to your sisters in Christ about modesty, what would it be?"

This discussion goes on in the teen forum a lot, with the guys saying, "Please, girls, think of us when you dress, it's hard for us" and the girls mainly saying, "Whatever, we'll dress the way we want, learn to control yourselves."

The responses to the open questions and stuff are really interesting, and also very humbling.

Good find VeP.

I agree, every self-respecting woman should take those comments very seriously.

-Davide

 

[Aaron-Aggie]

Side Survey Question:
When answer surveys of the type of Strongly Agree to Strongly Disagree, You tend to never use the strongly options

Stronly Disagree, Disagree, Neutral,
AGree, Strongly Agree

 

[epiclesis]

I really can't comprehend some of these answers.
The one I really truly disagree with is the one about overalls.
In no way shape or form, if overalls are being worn properly, can they be immodest.
modest shirt, proper size of overalls so they're not tight, drawn up on the straps so the top of the front isn't low, but below the neck a bit...
if overalls in and of themselves are immodest, i guess we better start wrapping dark colored sheets around ourselves...
or those... shapeless plaid jumpers...
goodness gracious..


sorry, that question kind of hit a nerve with me tonight!

 

[MichaelNZ]

Very interesting!

Being a former Traditional Catholic, I feel very strongly about modesty. I think that it needs to be more emphasised in the Orthodox Church. At Old Calendar Christmas, there were Russian girls wearing immodest attire, and barely any of them wore veils, even though it is a requirement.

 

[RoseofLima]

The homeschooling thing makes sense. A lot of those guys have so rarely been around women their own age that they aren't "used to" seeing them. I think that's a "stumbling block."

That is just false...

For goodness sakes when will people get over the idea that homeschooled kids live in complete isolation

Perhaps they have actually been taught by their parents about modesty and purity and take it seriously?? A group of guys is honest about what they feel and then get bashed for it...