Modest Dress

[GrowingFaithMA]

Modesty has been an important issue for us for many years, but as our children have grown, it's become increasingly important.

Do you participate in modest dress? If so, what guidelines do you follow? What are your favorite places to buy/order clothing? Do you require undershirts, in addition to female undergarments?

I typically wear skirts, maxi length, but sometimes just below the knee. I honestly don't feel comfortable with them even that short. I wear long shirts if I wear leggings/pants to keep covered. I expect our daughter to dress modestly as well. She's not as in love with skirts as I am, but she does wear them often. As she gets older, her style of dress is standing out a bit. Girls wear quite skimpy clothing, showing a LOT of their bodies off and to me, to us...it's just really not ok. This starts at such a young age and it's so sad to see.

Anyhow, what are your guidelines? Comfort limits?

 

[faroukfarouk]

Modesty has been an important issue for us for many years, but as our children have grown, it's become increasingly important.

Do you participate in modest dress? If so, what guidelines do you follow? What are your favorite places to buy/order clothing? Do you require undershirts, in addition to female undergarments?

I typically wear skirts, maxi length, but sometimes just below the knee. I honestly don't feel comfortable with them even that short. I wear long shirts if I wear leggings/pants to keep covered. I expect our daughter to dress modestly as well. She's not as in love with skirts as I am, but she does wear them often. As she gets older, her style of dress is standing out a bit. Girls wear quite skimpy clothing, showing a LOT of their bodies off and to me, to us...it's just really not ok. This starts at such a young age and it's so sad to see.

Anyhow, what are your guidelines? Comfort limits?

Thoughtful post; Proverbs 31 and the attire mentioned there comes to mind also.

 

[BadHabit]

I'm male, but I dress as modestly as I can reasonably accomplish on my budget and within my skills to acquire clothing. I don't like to see the immodesty of many people on display because it makes me feel very uncomfortable.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Anyhow, what are your guidelines? Comfort limits?

It seems you know already and need some encouragement.
Always obey God. Always. (who else can save anyone?).
Comfort ? Leave that to God. Obey Him. (by Faith; He never , never, never disappoints anyone who trusts and relies on Him - no , not ever. Hebrews 13 AMP Biblegateway)

 

[GrowingFaithMA]

Thoughtful post; Proverbs 31 and the attire mentioned there comes to mind also.

Helpful, thank you.
Corinthians 12:23
23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty

Is also a great one. I'm trying to work on a way to discuss this with our daughter, while stressing the importance of self respect. She's still quite young, so I have to be a bit careful with the fragility of her emotions.

 

[GrowingFaithMA]

It seems you know already and need some encouragement.
Always obey God. Always. (who else can save anyone?).
Comfort ? Leave that to God. Obey Him. (by Faith; He never , never, never disappoints anyone who trusts and relies on Him - no , not ever. Hebrews 13 AMP Biblegateway)

Thank you.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Helpful, thank you.
Corinthians 12:23
23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty

Is also a great one. I'm trying to work on a way to discuss this with our daughter, while stressing the importance of self respect. She's still quite young, so I have to be a bit careful with the fragility of her emotions.

Such discussions belong properly in the home, in any case, especially; although it's Biblical for more mature women in a local church to nurture and guide younger women also, what has sometimes happened also is that, going beyond this principle, some ppl in conservative local churches have taken the opportunity to try to 'lay down the law' and impose their own subjective preferences about various thing, just because there is some kind of local church link with other ppl; this is legalism, of course.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

The Bible doesn't say it is subjective.
Jesus says plainly what to do.
Everybody gets the same gracious choice as Jerusalem did - to be willing, or not.
Matthew 23:37
“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!”

King James Version (KJV)

 

[Paidiske]

Do you participate in modest dress? If so, what guidelines do you follow? What are your favorite places to buy/order clothing? Do you require undershirts, in addition to female undergarments?

Anyhow, what are your guidelines? Comfort limits?

I dress fairly modestly, I guess, although I don't obsess about it. For me, it's very context driven. The way I would dress for work is different than the way I might dress, for example, if out for a romantic dinner with my husband (where I might have a lower neckline or higher hemline or whatever). Most of the time, I guess my guideline is that I don't want my body to be the focus of any interaction with others. It's fine to look elegant or attractive, but it shouldn't be about flesh on display, if that makes sense?

I actually buy a lot of my clothes on Etsy, because then I can get them custom made to fit (I'm not a standard size). And there's a good range there of long skirts and the like.

But the other side of it is, from what I can see, Biblical modesty is as much about removing the focus from "looking good" and putting it on "doing good," and investing in the kingdom rather than one's wardrobe (which is part of what I take from 1 Tim 2:8-10). So I try to remember that and not get too hung up on how many inches of calf might be glimpsed, or the like.

 

[Catherineanne]

Modesty has been an important issue for us for many years, but as our children have grown, it's become increasingly important.

Do you participate in modest dress? If so, what guidelines do you follow? What are your favorite places to buy/order clothing? Do you require undershirts, in addition to female undergarments?

I typically wear skirts, maxi length, but sometimes just below the knee. I honestly don't feel comfortable with them even that short. I wear long shirts if I wear leggings/pants to keep covered. I expect our daughter to dress modestly as well. She's not as in love with skirts as I am, but she does wear them often. As she gets older, her style of dress is standing out a bit. Girls wear quite skimpy clothing, showing a LOT of their bodies off and to me, to us...it's just really not ok. This starts at such a young age and it's so sad to see.

Anyhow, what are your guidelines? Comfort limits?

I dress as modestly as I reasonably can, without drawing undue attention.

I let my daughter dress exactly the way she wants to, because this is an important part of her finding out who she is in relation to the world. I am not going to impose an identity on her, based on my own beliefs; that is the very last thing she needs from me.

 

[faroukfarouk]

The way I would dress for work is different than the way I might dress, for example, if out for a romantic dinner with my husband (where I might have a lower neckline or higher hemline or whatever).

I think the subjectivity of this whole area is also seen if one stands back and thinks historically a bit. In the 60s average hemlines were short; a - say - 29 year old in 1965 whose hemlines typically reflected widely worn skirts then, would now possibly be a venerable grandmother or great-grandmother aged 80. To people now who might try to 'lay down the law' for others about such subjective matters, the 80 year old great-grandmother might smile inwardly and say nothing, but might be thinking: This person doesn't know what s/he is talking about.

 

[Mudinyeri]

For those that would say, "Modesty is not subjective," please find me a scripture that sets a height for hemlines or depth for necklines or for how tight men's pants should be or anything else specific.

Modesty is about not calling attention to one's self not simply about avoiding "provocative" dress. If you're on the beach or at the pool and you're in a long skirt or pants and a turtle neck, you're calling attention to yourself.

 

[GrowingFaithMA]

Maybe my knee length dress comment wasn't clear- I don't find it immodest, I'm just not comfortable with it. My daughter wears knee length or longer and loves them. I feel like I need to be far more careful than I sometimes can be, when I'm in shorter dresses/skirts.

I'm not looking so much for guidance, as I do what I believe I need to, but just getting to know others here I certainly love seeing the perspective of others and scripture is always welcome! I felt like this would likely be the most interactive place for me to discuss this

 

[EmmaCat]

Our church calls for skirts no more than 6 inches above the ground, long or short-sleeved shirts, modest necklines (no cleavage) but the clothing can be as colorful as you want.

Men dress modestly, no tight pants and modest necklines as well.

All good things
Emmy

 

[pdudgeon]

clothing for men and women has varied across the centuries, but inevitably it has been used by young women to
attract the attention of young men.
men can't help it--they are visual creatures. and they will follow where their eyes lead them.
so if a young woman wants to attract a man to her self, she will expose the attractive bits.

In ancient Rome and Greece the gladiator men did the same, wearing scanty clothing that could not be grabbed by an opponent in the ring, and yet attracted the female attention.
the same thing applied to the legion. their armor covered the important parts. the clothing was worn only to protect the body from the chafing of the armor, and to leave their limbs exposed and free to move quickly.

on the other hand if a young woman wants a young man to listen to her and regard what she is saying, the attractive bits will be covered
so that his attention will be drawn to her face, her brain, her composure, and her speech.

as for clothing when i was young i followed the fashion.
now that i'm wiser i go for classic clothes, loose fitting, and modest.

 

[Mudinyeri]

clothing for men and women has varied across the centuries, but inevitably it has been used by young women to
attract the attention of young men.
men can't help it--they are visual creatures. and they will follow where their eyes lead them.
so if a young woman wants to attract a man to her self, she will expose the attractive bits.

What if a woman has attractive eyes?

You've made quite a number of assumptions that are not supported by facts. You've categorically dismissed men as weak and unable to keep themselves in check. You've also categorically labeled women who expose their "attractive bits" as doing it only to attract men.

Your biases are showing.

 

[Paloma_91]

I typically cover up my body from my collar bone to my mid-thigh. I'm not a huge fan of showing my shoulders, but I make exceptions when working out. On an average, casual day I wear mid-length shorts or jeans and a fitted t-shirt. If I'm required to be more presentable, I try to go for what I would consider "classy". Knee-length dresses, shoulders covered, medium necklines. Usually neutral colors with a splash of color in an accessory to accent the outfit. Light make up. Maybe a necklace.

 

[EmmaCat]

The fun part about modest clothing is that when your fiance drives a huge pickup that's waaaaayy off the ground, you can ask for a little 'boost' to get up into it and flash an ankle at him.

This guarantees he will be utterly speechless and try to ski through a revolving door to impress you.

All good things
Emmy

 

[Winter_Rose]

I would describe myself as a bit of my tomboy, but I like getting my hair and nails done. My favourite items of clothes are jeans, short sleeved t-shirts/checked shirts, hoodies and converse shoes/flat ballet shoes. I don't wear dresses or above the knee shorts. I've tried walking in high heels, but they're not for me.

 

[GoldenSky]

I think it's always been easy for me to dress pretty modestly because I don't like to feel constricted (so I don't like tight clothes), I don't like to feel a draft on me (so I don't show a lot of skin), and high heels make my feet hurt. It's all about comfort, darn it!

It bothers me when some Christians take a really severe tone about modesty and/or obsess on the subject. But on the other hand, it also bothers me when I go to church and the woman who goes up to read the Scriptures has tight skirt halfway up her leg and showing her front assets if you know what I mean -- I don't know, it makes me a little grumpy, I feel like it's exhibitionism.