Mistake after mistake

[Accune]

It seems like soon as I have a breakthrough I make a mistake.These mistakes usually happen in the speech area (like rebuking the wrong person).Am I the only one that has/had this problem?

 

[dabro]

No, I ummm well I make the mistake of being a crab apple towards ppl who do nothing to me if thats what ur asking????? And I feel guilty about that always....

 

[Accune]

It's like I get over the ocd and I try to rebuke the thoughts or satan, with in mind not trying to rebuke the wrong person (ie God,Christ or the Holy Spirit).My ocd works kinds like a fart or tourettes of the mind.

 

[shelovesChrist]

Sometimes when im singing praises to the Lord, words like Satan and or Allah have tried to replace His name, but He knows what we mean. Dont feel bad about, I continue singing to Him, for I know He knows what I mean. Dont let them rob you of your joy, as they try, have faith in God and trust that He is righteous in judgement as He says He is and I believe He wont judge us for these things because He can see the heart. Praying for you.

 

[Accune]

Thanks for the kind words Sheloveschrist.

 

[gracealone]

Hi Accune,
I handle this type of OCD episode in a totally different way. When I have a horrid intrusive thought or image on the theme of my faith I resist the urge to rebuke it or fight it. I chalk it up to OCD and just let it lie there like it doesn't matter at all. If I attend to it in any way I am actually giving it some measure of credence or validity as if it's true or worth paying attention to. By ignoring it I am habituating my brain to it in such a way that my brain doesn't respond to it like it's a 5 alarm fire.
Rebuking and fighting the thoughts are the compulsive activities of Pure "O" OCD and when we do that we perpetuate the cycle of our disorder and the thoughts grow ever larger and usually morph into even scarier thoughts and images.
The thoughts are not valid and having them pop into your brain does not mean that you agree with them or want them.
Any how... that's what I do. Otherwise I just get deeper and deeper into the painful cycle of my OCD.
Praying for you.
Mitzi

It's like I get over the ocd and I try to rebuke the thoughts or satan, with in mind not trying to rebuke the wrong person (ie God,Christ or the Holy Spirit).My ocd works kinds like a fart or tourettes of the mind.

 

[Accune]

Thank you very much Gracealone.

 

[seajoy]

Gracealone knows what she is talking about. It's how you tame the OCD - don't care about it.

 

[Zippety]

everyone makes mistakes just pick yourself back up again, you will be fine

 

[Accune]

Thank you all for the kind words.As I am going through this with the thoughts,I realized that I had this condition ever since I was in my teens.Back then up until recently it was about physical rituals like washing the dishes a certain way,picking up trash and etc.Also I use to play a lot of RPG's so my ocd fit right in with the games.The weird thing about what I am going through now is that I am still having prophetic dreams. Whenever I feel a spike coming on I quint my face and have prophetic visions of the day.Sometimes they are comforting but those verses in Matthew 7:21-23 pop up.I feel a lot better now that I have typed this,thank God for the forums(I am really thankful).

 

[shelovesChrist]

No problem and I will pray for you . Love what Mitzi said, just because they pop up doesnt mean you agree with them or want them. And it also doesnt mean it reflects who you are as a person . We cant believe these lies for we know that the Lord says an evil tree cannot bear good fruit. These thoughts try to get us to keep checking if we're good or not and we have to stop and have confidence that we are, as we are striving to become more and more like Christ, whose righteousness exceeds our grasp. Following Him and being obedient to Him will only produce good fruits, we cant go wrong.

 

[Accune]

I am having trouble replacing thoughts with positive thoughts.It feels really weird because it is the emptiness(from the long periods of time ruminating on these thoughts) but the guilt is still there.I try to fill the spike with a positive thought about Christ but then that encourages the bad thought.My mind is thinking that the only option is to give up(but I know that is not true) or become a Catholic (to have a fresh start).I will be glad when I get back to work that way I can concentrate on something else.Before the big incident happened Jesus Christ was all that I thought about,now I can only think about him a little then occupy my time with t.v.and the internet. I use to watch very little t.v.Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to not watch that certain program that brought on that thought and go back to work.

God was telling me in dreams that I was going back to Wal-Mart,but I didn't want to because I also had dreams that I was going overseas (which excited me very much).I feel like a Jonah mixed with a Job.I only hope the master Jesus is patient with me,but I am not going to claim whoa is me. I did some not so christian things with my thinking as well.This writing calms my nerves down a lot,I guess after I start working a lot I will see a doctor to help organize my thoughts and get a diagnosis.I don't want to make a mistake and misdiagnosis myself (if I haven't already have). Thanks for your time all for reading,God Speed.

 

[DhL015]

i love and truely thank God how some of you ( these people in this thread offering help ) are truely here for some of us who still struggle with OCD religious thoughts you guys are a blessing truely

 

[Accune]

How did any of you change your thinking once the thoughts were gone? My mind and feelings tell me that I have to think of something that will satisfy that emptiness.The last 2 days for me was ok because I told myself "I don't have to think this" and I was occupied with other things. If I would have visited this site the first week of this I might have been able to get a big jump on this thing,but the way my mind was all jacked up and worried I probably wouldn't accepted it.I am trying snapping my fingers when I get the "fart" while thinking of positive words in the rhythm.I have looked at my past posts and they made me feel better because I was some what normal,I just want to get that back.One of my big mistakes(I think) during this trial was not carrying on in my normal activities and reading my bible more.

 

[Accune]

It feels like I have to build my brain back again.I also hate this nervousness,every time I get into a stressful situation my mind is like "Uh oh,here we go again".Now I bury myself in interesting research,because if I am left idle for a while my mind remembers the "situation" that I am in.I read a scripture last night about the woman who ask Jesus for help and he didn't listen at first because she was a gentile.The lady kept on pursuing Jesus,and Jesus eventually healed her because of her faith.That gave me hope.

 

[Accune]

Thank you all and thank Christ ,I am feeling a lot better now.I still have ticks now and then,but all is well at the moment.It seems now I have a mental foundation to stand on.The thing with this type of Ocd is when it hits you the first time you lose your "spiritual breath" and may lose interest to things pertaining to your relationship with God.If you stay away too long you might be tempted to drop out the race all together.I know it may be hard but stay close to Jesus despite what you are feeling.Also fast and pray.

 

[seajoy]

Thank you all and thank Christ ,I am feeling a lot better now.I still have ticks now and then,but all is well at the moment.It seems now I have a mental foundation to stand on.The thing with this type of Ocd is when it hits you the first time you lose your "spiritual breath" and may lose interest to things pertaining to your relationship with God.If you stay away too long you might be tempted to drop out the race all together.I know it may be hard but stay close to Jesus despite what you are feeling.Also fast and pray.

I'm glad you are feeling better - but please remember, this is not a problem with God (like falling away etc...), it's an illness that needs treatment. God hangs on to us, not the other way around. He is the author and perfector of our faith. Please take care - and may God bless your recovery.

 

[Accune]

Thanks for the kind words.

 

[Accune]

Does anyone have the compulsion to fight a thought after the thoughts are gone? I don't want the bad thought,but it is like a fire that wants to be fed.So I try to preoccupy myself with something to keep my mind off trying to think a bad thought to fed the fire.One thing I found myself doing was when that feeling came I would say something positive,but that would just usher in the bad thought.The first couple of weeks when I was battling this thing the thoughts would stop when I get a break and I would feel "normal".Now along with the fire there is the guilt of all the bad thoughts that I thought of.

 

[Accune]

I got checked today (Thank God).The therapist diagnosis me with schizophrenia,the doctor who was working there gave me Zyprexa.