Missingyou

[Dawiddlegirl]

Good Morning!

I was thinking of you, going through all of that medical paper work yesterday. It seems endless at times, I know.

The tough thing is that it's so heartwrenching to throw anything away. Even the tiniest things that would be barely significant under different circumstances.

I always take a deep breath and remind myself "It's just Stuff"

I'm glad you are having dreams of your wife where she is healed and healthy. I believe that is her way of coming to you in a dream and letting you know that she is OK now. She is healed again and happy, and wants you to be happy too, and not worry about her.

(((Missingyou)))

 

[Missinyou]

This is the second time this morning for this message... The first time something happended and I lost contact with the CF site... Stupid computers...

Anyway I too use the "It's just stuff" procedure a lot... But it's not "just stuff". It's stuff she had, we had, or she touched, and on and on and on... It's kind of like taking a toy from a child or a bone from a dog... I don't want to let go. I still have her craft drawers to go through...and I started that before Christmas.. I still have her piano, but our daughter is taking that as soon as she finds a way to haul it to Salt Lake City, Utah. I also still have her Yamaha keyboard and no one else in the family plays..so guess it's going up for sale...and I miss her...a lot.

Got to get to work now...
You all have a good day and may God bless each and everyone of you in some special way.

 

[Dawiddlegirl]

Missingyou,
You are right, it doesn't help to say the words,
"It's just stuff"

I'm sorry I said that to you. As a person who has lost a spouse, I know those words can sound empty and insensitive..

Please forgive me. I didn't mean to minimize your wife's belongings. I was trying to be helpful and repeat what my pastor told me.

In retrospect, I remember being a bit hurt, when my pastor said that. After all, I thought.....even though you are a pastor, you still have your wife standing next to you, so you can't know the pain of going though her "stuff"

I'll be the first one to admit how fragile I am about my husbands "stuff."

I could find a little piece of thread on the floor and keep it because I thought it came from a favorite shirt of his.

I hope you had a great day.

I will continue to pray for all of you that have lost your spouses. I pray for God to heal your hearts, so you may feel an abundance joy.

God Bless You All!

 

[JeanR]

I still have to go through Terry's things, too. I did clean up the floor in front of his dresser and the top of his dresser (he wasn't the neatest person in the world). I still haven't touched his sneakers next to the bed or gone through his closet.

I brought home his files from work and they joined the mess in our bedroom. I just don't have the energy to go through everything. Every Saturday I get up saying that today is the day, but then it is Sunday night I didn't do a thing. I guess this is the final "final" hurdle.

 

[Missinyou]

Missingyou,
You are right, it doesn't help to say the words,
"It's just stuff"

I'm sorry I said that to you. As a person who has lost a spouse, I know those words can sound empty and insensitive..

Please forgive me. I didn't mean to minimize your wife's belongings. I was trying to be helpful and repeat what my pastor told me.

In retrospect, I remember being a bit hurt, when my pastor said that. After all, I thought.....even though you are a pastor, you still have your wife standing next to you, so you can't know the pain of going though her "stuff"

I'll be the first one to admit how fragile I am about my husbands "stuff."

I could find a little piece of thread on the floor and keep it because I thought it came from a favorite shirt of his.

I hope you had a great day.

I will continue to pray for all of you that have lost your spouses. I pray for God to heal your hearts, so you may feel an abundance joy.

God Bless You All!

Dawiddlegirl,

No need to be sorry. I didn't mean what I said that way....nor did I take what you said that way...as being insensitive. As people who have gone through this or are going through this, we can say things that are taken completely different than if someone else who still has their love, says them. We understand each other and know that what we say is said from the heart, to the heart. No one on the "outside" can ever imagine what it's like to lose the love of their life, to have to come to grips with the word "final" or "forever". Dawiddlegirl, I did not even once consider you insensitive...and I want you to know that is said from my heart. People on the "outside", I don't think they know what it means to really have to lean on God just to make it through another day... Perhaps I'm just blowing smoke on this but it's the way I feel.
God bless you Dawiddlegirl,
Missinyou

 

[Missinyou]

JeanR, I have come to the conclusion that we will never find, nor get across, that "final" hurdle. They just seem to keep popping up out of the blue. They just start getting easier to cross.

 

[JeanR]

When Terry died everything was so unbelievable and surreal. Now, it feels like a huge void where he used to be.

I guess I'm coming to grips with the knowledge that he won't be coming home anymore or that he'll call me on the phone at work. Reality has set in.

I just keep reminding myself that I will see him in heaven.

 

[Dawiddlegirl]

Missingyou,
Thanks! I was really worried I hurt you with saying that.
There is really very little advice we can give to one another. Just listen and give support.

God and time are our greatest comforts. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and be finished with all of the painful
things that need to be gone through with this letting go and grieving. :o