Missing Mom

[Elife3]

I've been feeling that way at times lately. I was 11 years old when she died. I've lately been having dreams about me being with my mom. I have finally gotten over one part of my grief, though. The night before my mother died, I just woke up around the time, maybe a couple minutes earlier, that the paramedics approximated the time of death. For quite some time, I felt like I was responsible because I didn't intervene. When I woke up, I had a feeling that I should come into her room and check on her, but I recently realized that I was too nervous/scared to do it. Thinking about it, If I went in, and if rescusitation was unsuccessful (I don't think it would have been successful) it would have been even worse.

This video just captures the emotion I feel:
YouTube - One More Day by Diamond Rio - The Last Time

 

[power2theweak]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Elife3. You were so young when you lost your mother. How long has it been?

I was with my mom when she died, and I was scared, too. She was at hospice, and they told me that she probably wouldn't be alive much longer...maybe a few hours, maybe a few days. It was night, but I couldn't sleep. I just kept watching her...watching to make sure she was still breathing. When it looked like she wasn't breathing any more, I couldn't do anything. I was too scared. I just quietly waited for the nurse.

I've been feeling that way at times lately. I was 11 years old when she died. I've lately been having dreams about me being with my mom. I have finally gotten over one part of my grief, though. The night before my mother died, I just woke up around the time, maybe a couple minutes earlier, that the paramedics approximated the time of death. For quite some time, I felt like I was responsible because I didn't intervene. When I woke up, I had a feeling that I should come into her room and check on her, but I recently realized that I was too nervous/scared to do it. Thinking about it, If I went in, and if rescusitation was unsuccessful (I don't think it would have been successful) it would have been even worse.

This video just captures the emotion I feel:
YouTube - One More Day by Diamond Rio - The Last Time

 

[power2theweak]

Ten months.

 

[power2theweak]

Missing you so much, Mom. This time last year, you were dying. They told us there wasn't anything else they could do for you. At the time, I had to be strong because you needed me. It is really hard now, though, to remember...

 

[Broken Hearted]

Im here for you if you need me

 

[power2theweak]

This will be my first Thanksgiving without Mom. We always loved cooking Thanksgiving dinner together. I will miss that so much!

I was going to have to work on Thanksgiving day, and that made me so sad. But now I think I will have the day off. It makes me feel better to know that I can spend the day with loved ones. And, I'll get to do some cooking, too.

What a wonderful woman she was! She touched our lives so deeply! She is sorely missed!

 

[Criada]

((((((((Power)))))))))
Praying that thanksgiving brings happy memories.

 

[power2theweak]

((((((((Power)))))))))
Praying that thanksgiving brings happy memories.

Thank you, Criada. Yes, Thanksgiving brings lots of happy memories. I have SO MANY happy memories of my sweet mama. The sadness is there too, of course, because I wish that she could be here with us now. But, I am thankful for all of the wonderful times that we shared together.

 

[RuthD]

Hi Power, I had a breakthrough in trying to grieve my mom. I have delayed grief. A lot of my sorrow was relieved when I was in the hospital.

I'm glad that Thanksgiving will bring many good memories for you. Take good care.

 

[Broken Hearted]

((((HUGS)))) Power Praying for you. Hope Thanksgiving will be a good day with good memories.

Just missing my momma and my bubba. Wish they were here with me right now.

 

[power2theweak]

Hi Power, I had a breakthrough in trying to grieve my mom. I have delayed grief. A lot of my sorrow was relieved when I was in the hospital.

I'm glad that Thanksgiving will bring many good memories for you. Take good care.

Thank you, Ruth. I'm glad to hear that you've had a breakthrough. Wishing you continued healing...

 

[power2theweak]

((((HUGS)))) Power Praying for you. Hope Thanksgiving will be a good day with good memories.

Just missing my momma and my bubba. Wish they were here with me right now.

Thank you, Broken. Hugs to you...I'm sorry for your losses.

 

[Broken Hearted]

(((HUGS))) to you and as also Im sorry for your losses. I know the pain that comes with it all and it sucks but God is there for us and our familys are with him watching over us.

 

[power2theweak]

Your presence was missed, Mom, but it was a nice Thanksgiving. I think you would have been proud of us...of our celebration. We had a great meal and a nice visit.

I am so thankful that I had you for a mother. God blessed me greatly!

This will be my first Thanksgiving without Mom. We always loved cooking Thanksgiving dinner together. I will miss that so much!

I was going to have to work on Thanksgiving day, and that made me so sad. But now I think I will have the day off. It makes me feel better to know that I can spend the day with loved ones. And, I'll get to do some cooking, too.

What a wonderful woman she was! She touched our lives so deeply! She is sorely missed!

 

[Peteza]

“Losing a mother deprives you of a chief cheerleader.” --Harold Ivan Smith

"My mom taught me everything-except how to live without her."--Dacie Sims.

Thanks & prayers to Power2 and all other posters. Mum went Home 2 months ago & I've been shattered since. Surfed across this thread here 3 weeks ago and saw those quotes then bought & read Smith's book Grieving The Death Of A Mother.

I'ld prefer a big red flashing neon 'way out' sign to trying to bump way through this maze...but I guess at least by reading get more of idea on what the maze is like. Just wish I knew how long it went and if I'll stay (relatively) sane on way through...oh well, keep fighting.

Thanks again & prayers to all who posted who have been/are in the maze. God bless.

Pete

 

[power2theweak]

(((Pete)))

 

[power2theweak]

Where has the time gone? It's almost been a year since Mom passed. In some ways, it seems like only yesterday. But, I know that a lot of healing has taken place in that year.

Just seeing the date, December 15, is still hard for me. I wonder how things will go on Wednesday.

 

[power2theweak]

Watched my mama's memorial PowerPoint several times today and cried. It was so nice to see her sweet, smiling face.

That helped some.

Looked but couldn't find my books about grief. They must have gotten mixed in with the children's books, which are boxed up and stored away.

 

[power2theweak]

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.” ~~ Washington Irving

 

[power2theweak]

I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chattered all the way.
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.
I walked a mile with Sorrow
And ne'er a word said she;
But oh, the things
I learned from her
When Sorrow
walked with me!

-Robert Browning