I graduated from college back in May. I've moved back home and I'm working "survival job" until I can find a real one. The thing is, I realized that I miss college. And it's not like college was all that I thought it would be; it wasn't. I was often lonely with few friends. I spent alot of my free time in my dorm room by myself. I was never really plugged into the Christian organization I attended (I've got a whole thread on that issue), people within my major didn't take me seriously and therefore wanted nothing to do with me, and I had my heart broken by someone I cared about and who I thought cared about me. Now I'm back home and I realize I just want to go back in time and change things to where my college experience was more ideal. It doesn't help that I'm in a place where most people my age are either married or engaged. And there aren't a whole lot of college graduates here, either. I'm bored...I work, come home, watch TV, go online, then go to bed. I am looking for a job and I've realized that I haven't been putting as much time into that as I should. I feel trapped here. I'm waiting for something to happen to so I can leave and start my own life. But at the same time, I'm scared to move far away. Any advice as to how I can deal with this transitional period?
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Missing College...Please Help!!!
- Thread starter DiscoGirlie
- Start date
Hi. I am suffering from graduation impact too 
I feel like the Israelite when they were taken out of Egypt. Right now I'm in the desert. I'm very tempted to look back and wish for the "good old times" but I know that the best is yet to come. I just hope I don't spend 40 years wandering! 
Seriously though, like you, I feel alone too. I have no Christian friends my age. Heck, I barely have any friends! Everyone around me is either a kid or has kids. God is really stretching my patience and teaching me to fully rely on Him. I don't exactly have an advice for you, but I posted anyway just to let you know that you're not alone, and that you should just hang on and keep seeking God. Don't be discouraged (I tell myself this all the time) because we are sons and daughters of the King - the best is yet to come!
PS: I haven't found a job yet, so I would say you're ahead of me in this adventure!
I feel like the Israelite when they were taken out of Egypt. Right now I'm in the desert. I'm very tempted to look back and wish for the "good old times" but I know that the best is yet to come. I just hope I don't spend 40 years wandering! Seriously though, like you, I feel alone too. I have no Christian friends my age. Heck, I barely have any friends! Everyone around me is either a kid or has kids. God is really stretching my patience and teaching me to fully rely on Him. I don't exactly have an advice for you, but I posted anyway just to let you know that you're not alone, and that you should just hang on and keep seeking God. Don't be discouraged (I tell myself this all the time) because we are sons and daughters of the King - the best is yet to come!
PS: I haven't found a job yet, so I would say you're ahead of me in this adventure!
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PS: I haven't found a job yet, so I would say you're ahead of me in this adventure!
Well, my job isn't so great. I'm working at McDonald's until I can find something within my major!
Well, my job isn't so great. I'm working at McDonald's until I can find something within my major!
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:
My job isn't so great. I'm working at McDonald's until I can find something within my major. Trust me, fast food, especially the day shift, is great way not to find people with common interests!
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I've got 2 words for you - grad school
I guess I forgot to mention that I don't really miss the academic environment (read: studying, tests, papers, homework), just the social environment (that I missed out on). So grad school IS NOT an option for me! I just want to put me degree to good use!
I guess I forgot to mention that I don't really miss the academic environment (read: studying, tests, papers, homework), just the social environment (that I missed out on). So grad school IS NOT an option for me! I just want to put me degree to good use!
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LOLDiscoGirlie said:
I know what you mean. I worked for a fast food too! Same problem here, I haven't found a job within my major. But hey, if God loved us so much that He didn't spare His only Son, why wouldn't He give us smaller stuffs like jobs and other things? Let's stay positive and focus on Jesus. I know it's not easy. Believe me, I know. A lot of times, I just cry out to God because I feel like my life is useless and boring. But I choose to remain focus on the Lord because I know He is faithful, and in His perfect timing, all will be well. Try this website: triple w*dot*graduateimpact*dot*com (I don't have enough post to write a link yet). Keep yourself busy, soak yourself in prayer, learn something new, take up a hobby, volunteer, minister, do whatever would glorify God. Just hang on, we'll make it through! I'm here for you sister 
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My thoughts, exactly!DiscoGirlie said:I've got 2 words for you - grad school
I guess I forgot to mention that I don't really miss the academic environment (read: studying, tests, papers, homework), just the social environment (that I missed out on). So grad school IS NOT an option for me! I just want to put me degree to good use!
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I can't imagine missing college 
so I don't have any good advice for you I hated college the first time around. I was a commuter, I was a Christian, and I lived at home, so I didn't fit into the college community very well. The only Christian group on campus was a clique and outsiders were NOT welcome.
I hated college so much, I'm going back to get another degree
This time I'll be attending a commuter college, so maybe it'll be better.
so I don't have any good advice for you I hated college the first time around. I was a commuter, I was a Christian, and I lived at home, so I didn't fit into the college community very well. The only Christian group on campus was a clique and outsiders were NOT welcome. I hated college so much, I'm going back to get another degree
This time I'll be attending a commuter college, so maybe it'll be better.
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I know exactly what you're going through! I graduated from college in may 03 and am STILL adjusting. It's been a long road for me. I never knew how much I LOVED college life until it was over and I moved hundreds of miles from my friends. It took me an entire year to find one christian friend that I had things in common with. Its been tough and lonely, but I have been trying to rely on the Lord. Its just another life stage to adjust to, there will be many ahead. Just keep singing that old "I will survive" disco song!!
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I'm in a similar situation, but there's no way you should be working at McDonalds if you've already put in your work at college. You should try contacting any staffing firms in your area. They may be able to get you a part time job in an office setting with better pay that may lead to full time.DiscoGirlie said:
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mina
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I've been out of college 3 years and I still miss it!!! I like learning and I miss my friends who are now scattered all over the world. I'm thinking of going to the state univ. next summer to start a new degree.
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mina
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Oh and hang in there about the job situation. I was unemployed for 6months after I graduated. At least you are lucky enough to get a job. I applied and applied everywhere even at jobs that I was majorly overqualified for and the economy was so bad then I had nothing! Wal-mart wouldn't even take me! But I did eventually get a teaching position and it was right where God wanted me.
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Most the recent college graduates I know still take classes - often at a local community college. As the grades don't really matter anymore, it's almost entirely for the learning experience and social environmentDiscoGirlie said:
You'd probably want a job to pay for those additional classes though ... if possible try to find an insider at a company you'd be interested in working for. Employees can often give resumes of their friends/associates directly to the hiring manager, opposed to the resume getting filtered by human resources.
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JPPT1974
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I miss college to after nearly one and a half years but just because you have a degree doesn't mean neccessarily a good job.
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I guess I should chime in here. I graduated in May '03 and had no job, so I moved back home....which is only an hour away from where I was at, but I seriously considered just staying in the college town to stay independent.
I was in leadership in a nice-sized campus ministry, so I graduated with a healthy network of friends, but now we are all somewhat spread out over the midwest (I live in Kansas CIty) I spend many nights on the phone! Most of us, even the ones who have moved away somewhat, still find ourselves gravitating back to our Campus ministry network of friends.
So thats beene specially tough just communicating via phone and the sporadic visit. My goal is to be out of the parents nest within a year.....I dont mind living off them since I put myself, along with Uncle Sam, thru school. I am not having them pay for much, but I dont have that many expenses.
I told many of my younger friends at the ministry I went to, that after you leave, you will get a real leasson what Jesus meant when he talked baout community, and just how hard it is to attain and MAINTAIN. I have gone deeper now with firends I had in college, because we dont see or talk to each otehr as much. COllege blinded me and most of my circle of friends....we were all within 10 minutes of each other and we didnt train ourselevs to pursue real, authentic community. I mean we had some depth, but not nearly as much as we SHOULD have had.
So, I went back and preached about that....about using that time as a training ground, and have a futuristic view of the trials and tribulations of maintaining friendships and creating new ones.....
So, I say all that to say that I feel ya', and I can empathize with everyone here who is around thsi age and are recent grads.
I was in leadership in a nice-sized campus ministry, so I graduated with a healthy network of friends, but now we are all somewhat spread out over the midwest (I live in Kansas CIty) I spend many nights on the phone! Most of us, even the ones who have moved away somewhat, still find ourselves gravitating back to our Campus ministry network of friends.
So thats beene specially tough just communicating via phone and the sporadic visit. My goal is to be out of the parents nest within a year.....I dont mind living off them since I put myself, along with Uncle Sam, thru school. I am not having them pay for much, but I dont have that many expenses.
I told many of my younger friends at the ministry I went to, that after you leave, you will get a real leasson what Jesus meant when he talked baout community, and just how hard it is to attain and MAINTAIN. I have gone deeper now with firends I had in college, because we dont see or talk to each otehr as much. COllege blinded me and most of my circle of friends....we were all within 10 minutes of each other and we didnt train ourselevs to pursue real, authentic community. I mean we had some depth, but not nearly as much as we SHOULD have had.
So, I went back and preached about that....about using that time as a training ground, and have a futuristic view of the trials and tribulations of maintaining friendships and creating new ones.....
So, I say all that to say that I feel ya', and I can empathize with everyone here who is around thsi age and are recent grads.
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Thanks for replies, allow me to clarify some things.
just wondering what is your major? do you have experience in the field?
I had a double major in broadcast news and sociology. My concentration was in broadcasting. I worked with my campus's student produced-newscast for three years. I've had some radio experience, but that was mandatory for class credit. Last fall, I had an internship at a TV station.
but there's no way you should be working at McDonalds if you've already put in your work at college.
I only work at McDonald's because I've worked there since I graduated from high school. I went to a local community college for my first two years. I was able to recieve some tuition reimbursments then. When I went away to school, I stayed on the payroll so I could work during school breaks and in the summer. I don't have parents who'll pay for everything and I needed something to do when I came home. I've been working there since I've graduated and moved home while I've been looking for a job. I guess it's a convenience issue.
I think one of my problems in not finding a job right away is that I'm too hesistant. Not long after I graduated, my parents convinced me to turn down an interview that was 13 hours away from my home because they didn't think I could handle being so far away from home. Realistically, there's no way I could have afforded to move at that time, but that whole incident kind of set the tone for my job search. My parents want me to stay within a 200 mile radius (or four hours from home). But in news, you have to be willing to move. I understand now that I can't base my job search on my parents fears. I'm also a procrastinator. Yesterday I sent materials to a job in Indiana. I checked that station's website today and the position's been filled. I know I need to work on that.
As far as the community in college thing goes, one thing you need to realize is that I DIDN'T have it. At the beginning of my second year that my alma matterI got "ousted" from a ministry on campus. I had few friends. My Friday nights were spent watching Lifetime movies with a Lean Cuisine. It was pretty pathetic. I had a few close friends, but by last year, I had grown apart with several (mainly the ones I met my first year in the campus ministry), one had transferred, and another went home all the time to see her boyfriend. And it left me with nothing with my TV, computer, and the occcassional shopping trip to keep me company. To make it worse, I wasted alot of time following/pining over this guy who only used me. Now that I'm home and basically in the same boat, I realize what I missed out on. It certainly doesn't help watching my brother and sister go out with their friends. It's pretty sad that my 17-year old brother has more of an active social life than I do. Your twenties, especially your college years, are supposed to be the best years of your and I feel they've been anything but. It's like I'm waiting for my life to start.
I appreciate everyone's replies, I really do. But everyone so far has had more "ideal" college experiences and so I think it's harder for all of you really understand what I'm going through. I mean you do, to an extent. But at least all of you can look back on your colleges years without the regret that I have. I can't and I just don't know what to do
just wondering what is your major? do you have experience in the field?
I had a double major in broadcast news and sociology. My concentration was in broadcasting. I worked with my campus's student produced-newscast for three years. I've had some radio experience, but that was mandatory for class credit. Last fall, I had an internship at a TV station.
but there's no way you should be working at McDonalds if you've already put in your work at college.
I only work at McDonald's because I've worked there since I graduated from high school. I went to a local community college for my first two years. I was able to recieve some tuition reimbursments then. When I went away to school, I stayed on the payroll so I could work during school breaks and in the summer. I don't have parents who'll pay for everything and I needed something to do when I came home. I've been working there since I've graduated and moved home while I've been looking for a job. I guess it's a convenience issue.
I think one of my problems in not finding a job right away is that I'm too hesistant. Not long after I graduated, my parents convinced me to turn down an interview that was 13 hours away from my home because they didn't think I could handle being so far away from home. Realistically, there's no way I could have afforded to move at that time, but that whole incident kind of set the tone for my job search. My parents want me to stay within a 200 mile radius (or four hours from home). But in news, you have to be willing to move. I understand now that I can't base my job search on my parents fears. I'm also a procrastinator. Yesterday I sent materials to a job in Indiana. I checked that station's website today and the position's been filled. I know I need to work on that.
As far as the community in college thing goes, one thing you need to realize is that I DIDN'T have it. At the beginning of my second year that my alma matterI got "ousted" from a ministry on campus. I had few friends. My Friday nights were spent watching Lifetime movies with a Lean Cuisine. It was pretty pathetic. I had a few close friends, but by last year, I had grown apart with several (mainly the ones I met my first year in the campus ministry), one had transferred, and another went home all the time to see her boyfriend. And it left me with nothing with my TV, computer, and the occcassional shopping trip to keep me company. To make it worse, I wasted alot of time following/pining over this guy who only used me. Now that I'm home and basically in the same boat, I realize what I missed out on. It certainly doesn't help watching my brother and sister go out with their friends. It's pretty sad that my 17-year old brother has more of an active social life than I do. Your twenties, especially your college years, are supposed to be the best years of your and I feel they've been anything but. It's like I'm waiting for my life to start.
I appreciate everyone's replies, I really do. But everyone so far has had more "ideal" college experiences and so I think it's harder for all of you really understand what I'm going through. I mean you do, to an extent. But at least all of you can look back on your colleges years without the regret that I have. I can't and I just don't know what to do
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I can probably relate more than you thinkDiscoGirlie said:
I didn't date at all in college, never went out Friday nights (was a commuter student, ~1 hr from campus for 3 yrs), and mostly kept to myself on campus. Furthermore, I majored in something (engineering) that I found boring. I'm not sure I regret that though. I know now that money doesn't matter as much as I thought it did, the extent of the fallacy of my approach of accomodating reality, etc. As for the lack of a social life, I've had the opportunity recently to have a bit of one and it has really bored me... I would do things differently if I were to do it again, and I probably will next year, but no point in regretting what won't change.
If you really think you missed out in college, go back. Academics aren't too imposing if you don't let them be - I've recently taken graded courses for the fun of it. Trick is to not take it too seriously, which would perhaps occur automatically if the primary reason for going to college were the exposure rather than the degree.
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Hey Discogirl. To an extent I can understand.
For me college was a major let-down. I was expecting it to cool: friends, freedom, lots to do, etc. but I found like you I made few friends, felt isolated and spent far to much time on my own watching TV. When I consider the harsh reality of the working world: long hours, less freedom, difficulties meeting people your age, etc. I know I am going to bitterly regret the complete waste of those college years which should have been the best years of my life.
Re your job-hunt, I recommend you get the book "What COlour is your Parachute" to help you co-ordinate an effective job search. You obviously have the necessary skills and experience-it is just a matter of dressing them up a little and applying to enough jobs. Also if the media field is that which you want to go into, you will have to persuade your parents that you will need to travel and spread your wings a little.
For me college was a major let-down. I was expecting it to cool: friends, freedom, lots to do, etc. but I found like you I made few friends, felt isolated and spent far to much time on my own watching TV. When I consider the harsh reality of the working world: long hours, less freedom, difficulties meeting people your age, etc. I know I am going to bitterly regret the complete waste of those college years which should have been the best years of my life.
Re your job-hunt, I recommend you get the book "What COlour is your Parachute" to help you co-ordinate an effective job search. You obviously have the necessary skills and experience-it is just a matter of dressing them up a little and applying to enough jobs. Also if the media field is that which you want to go into, you will have to persuade your parents that you will need to travel and spread your wings a little.
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