Missing Church

[mnphysicist]

I might send my girls to the party this one time while I attend church and meet them afterwards. Then later I can teach a lesson about palm Sunday to them in the woods behind our house. What better way to enjoy God but when you are immersed in his beauty?

That seems a very good approach to the immediate problem.

As far as your mom and your church go... if the church isn't shutting her down when she is trying to manipulate, that's not cool, and it could be signs of an iffy theology. Granted no church will be perfect.

Its pretty common for folks with multiple jobs or rotating shifts to have multiple churches/functions they attend. Back when I lived in IA, I remember we used to have a ton of once a month folks at Grace Bibles 7PM service... most had a church home they'd go to on Sunday mornings, but when they had to skip it, they'd catch Grace late in the day.

 

[ms.smith]

Perhaps you could find a church that has a later (afternoon or evening) service on days you need more rest?

 

[Kenyon Ledford]

Unfortunately the party is for a friend of the family, thus I'm not able to ask for the party to be moved. I'm still torn on what to do this weekend because the party is a rare thing that won't be a conflict to church in the future. Yes, I know it sets us up to feel ok to skip in the future for trivial things but I honestly just got confused on the day and time of the party when I agreed to attend. It's not something I plan to become a habit. I wish my church offered more than one service so we could attend a different time but unfortunately it does not. I might send my girls to the party this one time while I attend church and meet them afterwards. Then later I can teach a lesson about palm Sunday to them in the woods behind our house. What better way to enjoy God but when you are immersed in his beauty?

You'll figure it out and do what's best. HINT HINT It's okay to miss. I missed for 40 years
before going back this year. God didn't say "You have a lot to catch up on" He was just glad to
see me. You. Will. Be. Fine. And so will Momma chickadee and her friends.

 

[bèlla]

I have never met a Christian who didn't excel in certain areas and fall down in others. I once had an acquaintance who attempted to hold me to the same practices she held for herself.

She disagreed with my afternoon prayer time and felt I should join the group to pray over the requests for our bible class. I didn't budge.

She wanted me to attend a monthly prayer meeting that she was directed to by the church. She was a member of the prayer team and was gifted in that area. But it wasn't mine. I never went.

She felt I should attend a monthly bible class she held at a different location. Even though I attended three courses each week at the church.

Are you seeing a pattern? With all she felt she never asked the Holy Spirit. She wanted my company. We must take care that we don't hold others to a standard the Lord did not present. If I'd agreed to her suggestions I would have been overworked and weary.

Ask the Lord for His input about your situation. You may need to attend a different church for a season. You can ask for a temporary solution and a door to be opened where you're able to work a different schedule if that is His will.

In this way you leave the matter in His lap.

 

[MartyF]

I'm a single mom of 2 young kids working 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. I have been going to church for a couple of years now since my divorce and have found a church family I love. One Sunday a month, I don't have my kids (I work Mon-Friday and Saturdays I don't have my kids). I skip church that Sunday about 75% of the time to try to catch up on sleep. My mom also attends my church (relatively small congregation) and has started making me feel extremely selfish and guilty when I skip. My daughter has a birthday party this Sunday (Palm Sunday at 11am) that I accidentally rsvp'd yes to already. My mom said if I miss church for the party she will have to tell everyone why and i will be judged poorly.

Does skipping on occasion make me a bad Christian or less of a Christian?

Failure to attend a country club on Sunday morning has nothing to with being a Christian.

That being said, since you are single and with children you likely are needing the help of your mother and/or the church you are attending. If they are providing you with no support, do what you want. If they are providing you with support or if you will be able to call on their support in the future, respecting their traditions will help you and, in return, your children as well.

See if they will let you attend the party late. If not, cancel.

 

[Andrew77]

I'm a single mom of 2 young kids working 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. I have been going to church for a couple of years now since my divorce and have found a church family I love. One Sunday a month, I don't have my kids (I work Mon-Friday and Saturdays I don't have my kids). I skip church that Sunday about 75% of the time to try to catch up on sleep. My mom also attends my church (relatively small congregation) and has started making me feel extremely selfish and guilty when I skip. My daughter has a birthday party this Sunday (Palm Sunday at 11am) that I accidentally rsvp'd yes to already. My mom said if I miss church for the party she will have to tell everyone why and i will be judged poorly.

Does skipping on occasion make me a bad Christian or less of a Christian?

Your mom is a jerk?

Here is what I would do.

Straight up this is my answer..... because I actually lived this out. My mother tried to play these games with me when I first left home, and I had to threaten her.

So here is what I would do. Mom.... You do that, and I'm never coming back to this church, and you are never seeing my kids again. You threaten to have people judge me, then I'll give you something to judge. Me ditching you.

Then, I would go the party. Maybe you should think more carefully about what you say you will do. You carefully consider your answers to RSVPs, before you say yes or no to them.

However, you gave them your word, that you would be at that party. They are planning for the number of people who said they would come. So you need to be a woman who honors her word. You go the party, and you don't think about jerk/mom thinks or does. You agreed to go, so you need to go. You gave them your word, that you would show up, and you need to follow through.

But honestly, my own mother tried to pull this crap on me, and I stopped going to her church altogether. You are going to play this 'judgement' game on me, and then claim you are a Christian? NO. No, zero.

And if you allow this to continue, every single time your mother wants you to do something, she's going to pull out this blackmail card on you, and "If you don't do X, I'll tell everyone at church!"....

You need to shut down this manipulative abuse RIGHT NOW. You go to that party and honor your word. Then you tell mommy that she's about to lose her daughter if she keep this garbage up.

And don't fear this. Follow G-d with your heart, and he'll deal with mommy on your behalf.

Let me add one more thing..... I think you should avoid skipping church as much as possible. If you do skip, that doesn't mean you don't tithe, and that doesn't mean you can't watch an online sermon, and that doesn't mean you can't play and sing some Christian songs.

But if you are desperate on sleep, I'm not going to have a cow over it.... I've been there myself.

 

[TechyinAZ]

I think we all need to understand that Sunday church worship is very important.

BUT, if you miss church for a family event like a birthday party once in a long time. I do not see why that's evil.

The bible never says that you are forced to attend church every single week without missing a beat. Only that it is important, so it should take priority.

I believe that Church having a big priority does not mean that you are forced to attend every single week as a law. Rather, we should be attending because we want to attend.

If we are going to make it a man law...then we have to say skipping church because of other things like sickness is also wrong. Which is crazy to say in my opinion.

I think it is perfectly acceptable to attend your daughters birthday party. Its not like your skipping church all the time.

Even if you skip church once a month, I think that is okay as long as the reasons are important like say a long day at work and you need sleep badly, because sleep is indeed very important.

Pray with God about this too. We have Christs commands, but those commands can apply to us in slightly different ways because not all our lives are the same. Some of us have hard jobs to work and some don't...etc etc.

 

[gideon123]

God will never condemn you ... if sometimes you need rest. It is OK to skip church if you are exhausted. Jesus is here to lighten your burdens, not to add to your worries.

As others have suggested, look for a church with an afternoon or evening service.

God is working for healing and rsstoration in your life. Try to be super patient through the stressful times. Go for walks. If you can. Or just walk in circles in your driveway. Fresh air and prayers do miracles!!

 

[ChickadeeGrace]

Sleep deprivation is a serious health risk, plus it weakens one's ability to
fight various sicknesses. Don't die before your time. Wait until God says, "Chickadee Grace? We're ready for you." hahaha picturing God sayiing "Chickadee"

Chickadee is my daughter's nickname and Grace is my other daughter's middle name

 

[ChickadeeGrace]

Thank you all for your insight. I appreciate all of you taking time to give some advice/input. I spent the day praying and talking to God. I believe we will attend the party this one time since I was scatter brained and got confused with the day and timing when I rsvp'd. Later, my girls and I will do our own worship and sing some of our favorite worship songs. This is my compromise to try to do both.

As for skipping to catch up on rest...I will try to take each month as it comes and decide what my body needs at that moment. Missing a morning service doesn't mean I can still worship on my own. My church does offer a Wednesday night service as well. Unfortunately, that's the day I work an 8a-8p shift. I love my church and the family i have there so attending elsewhere is not something i want to do at this time. This church had really helped me grow as a Christian.

I also don't want my mom to feel she has a right to make me feel less than worthy of my church's love by missing on occasion. I need to set boundaries so that we can continue to have a healthy relationship. She is new to church as well (after a long absence) and what works for her is not always what works for me.

 

[Cis.jd]

I'm a single mom of 2 young kids working 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. I have been going to church for a couple of years now since my divorce and have found a church family I love. One Sunday a month, I don't have my kids (I work Mon-Friday and Saturdays I don't have my kids). I skip church that Sunday about 75% of the time to try to catch up on sleep. My mom also attends my church (relatively small congregation) and has started making me feel extremely selfish and guilty when I skip. My daughter has a birthday party this Sunday (Palm Sunday at 11am) that I accidentally rsvp'd yes to already. My mom said if I miss church for the party she will have to tell everyone why and i will be judged poorly.

Does skipping on occasion make me a bad Christian or less of a Christian?

no. Some people will say "yes" because they don't like reason but this the reality of life. You just can't go. You work like a horse to provide for your family, and you being a human need rest otherwise you can't do the said work. God wants you to raise your family as best as you can, and you are.
Anybody who judges you because "you are not going to church" isn't worth wasting your time with because they are not you. They don't have your situation and they don't know what God thinks about it. Do your thing and don't worry what other people will say about it.

 

[Just_a_Christian]

Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the sanctuary by the blood of Jesus,by the fresh and living way that he inaugurated for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh,and since we have a great priest over the house of God,let us draw near with a sincere heart in the assurance that faith brings, because we have had our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed in pure water.And let us hold unwaveringly to the hope that we confess, for the one who made the promise is trustworthy.And let us take thought of how to spur one another on to love and good works,not abandoning our own meetings, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and even more so because you see the day drawing near.For if we deliberately keep on sinning after receiving the knowledge of the truth, no further sacrifice for sins is left for us,but only a certain fearful expectation of judgment and a fury of fire that will consume God’s enemies.
Hebrews 10:19-27
There is the possibility of causing others to stumble through one's absence. Worship is what we offer to God. Worship is not about what we get out of it, it's offered upwards to God, not that we can't receive a "recharging" through edification.
In Him

 

[bèlla]

I'm happy to hear you've found a solution that brings you peace. Enjoy the party!

 

[Brightmoon]

Refuel with sleep and go to your kids party . You’re not getting all of the benefits of church if you’re too exhausted to think. The party happens once. That’s life ! Tell your mom to grow up and get a life. She acting spiteful and immature

I agree with the poster who said that sleep deprivation causes serious health risks . Don’t underestimate it. Heart problems and diabetes if you’re susceptible, is not something you’d want to risk and that’s NOT an exaggeration

 

[Ken Rank]

I'm a single mom of 2 young kids working 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. I have been going to church for a couple of years now since my divorce and have found a church family I love. One Sunday a month, I don't have my kids (I work Mon-Friday and Saturdays I don't have my kids). I skip church that Sunday about 75% of the time to try to catch up on sleep. My mom also attends my church (relatively small congregation) and has started making me feel extremely selfish and guilty when I skip. My daughter has a birthday party this Sunday (Palm Sunday at 11am) that I accidentally rsvp'd yes to already. My mom said if I miss church for the party she will have to tell everyone why and i will be judged poorly.

Does skipping on occasion make me a bad Christian or less of a Christian?

No, it doesn't and your mom is out of line using shame to convince you to walk as she thinks you should walk. I am not suggesting you don't honor her... but honoring her does not mean she is lord of your life. You're an adult. If it were me... I would begin to look for a new church. I know that isn't what you want... but you also can't have a healthy relationship with your mom under these conditions. So, looking for a new church will do two things... 1. let HER know that you're serious and perhaps she will reevaluate how she has been treating you and 2. if she doesn't, you will likely find a place where that pressure doesn't exist.

 

[RaymondG]

It is unwise to believe that sitting in a temple for a few hour on one day, will make up for things done during the six days prior or afterwards. The Bible says that God does not dwell in temples made by hands.
The hour cometh and now is that true worshipers will worship in spirit and in truth....for the father seeketh such.

In that day, we will realize that we should worship the father every second of everyday.....and not only during a specific time, on a specific day, in a specific place.....one day a week.

If we are concerned about how we look outwardly to men.....we are not ready for true worship.....and we should be seen in the temples as often as we possibly can.....daring not to miss a single service.....for we must keep up the appearance of good works.

 

[Ttalkkugjil]

I'm a single mom of 2 young kids working 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. I have been going to church for a couple of years now since my divorce and have found a church family I love. One Sunday a month, I don't have my kids (I work Mon-Friday and Saturdays I don't have my kids). I skip church that Sunday about 75% of the time to try to catch up on sleep. My mom also attends my church (relatively small congregation) and has started making me feel extremely selfish and guilty when I skip. My daughter has a birthday party this Sunday (Palm Sunday at 11am) that I accidentally rsvp'd yes to already. My mom said if I miss church for the party she will have to tell everyone why and i will be judged poorly.

Does skipping on occasion make me a bad Christian or less of a Christian?

It means you're not following Christ as closely as you should be. Really, which is more important - being served by Christ, or slumber and partying?

 

[usexpat97]

I prefer not to think of it as sinful-bad if you don't. Think of it more this way: if you had regularly-scheduled weekly meetings with your mom--elderly, widowed--and you decided not to show up, is that sinful? Well, maybe...but that's beside the point. The real issue is that you love your mom, and your weekly visits mean the world to her. Why would you want to hurt your own mom?

 

[usexpat97]

Setting aside every day is setting aside no day.

 

[sunshine100]

I need to get back to church myself,only you can decide that.