~MiScOnCePtIoNs~

[pokinatcha]

Anyone else had enough of all the images we're fed in our society of what we should conform to so we can be more appealing to the opposite sex and what's to be expected in relationships?
It would be awesome if in this thread we can discuss what we feel pressured to be like and do and whether it really is important to the opposite sex or if it's a misconception we've believed for too long thanks to the media.

 

[Wolflily]

The media has really taken that to an extreme. There is nothing wrong with being your 'personal best' - taking care of yourself, good hygiene and grooming, being healthy and active - all for the right reasons. But to try and measure up to the scant 3% who fit some ideal of physical perfection is demeaning and leads to a warped and unhealthy self image.
I don't think anyone growing up in western civilization can avoid the pressure completely but it's important that we teach our young people to value themselves based on God's concept of who we are and not 'society's.

 

[crashedman]

Hi,

Well, I just got all my hair whacked off yesterday to protest against the hairdressing industry telling me how I should spend money to attract the contradictory gender, as well as taking more responsibility for my eating and regularly attending a gym to shed my 100 kg blubber in exchange for a six pack.

I'm not doing this to impress anybody but myself, to see whether I can be true to my word to improve my being. I gave up supporting the fashion industry and beauty pageants years ago because I decided that I had enough of being loved and looked up to for what I spend my money on rather than for being who I really am.


Crashedman

 

[pokinatcha]

Yeah fully, how insane is it how much we guys are being dictated what we have to wear!
A couple of months back, I went out to buy another jacket or top for the cold weather here in Melbourne...I looked around at the 'in' surf/skate shops at Knox shopping centre, like Jettysurf and Ozmosis and to get anything half decent I was gonna be spending around $120. Normally I'd be fine with it and hand over the cash but I this time I felt pretty ticked off when I thought about the fact that it probably cost them $5 to make overseas in a sweatshop and suckers like me would pay $120 cos we've been conned by labels!
I think I'm just coming to learn that I don't need labels and fashion to feel good about myself...

The impression we're given is that to be anything special, we have to fit the metro image and have the right surf/skate clothes and do our hair a certain way...
But I have to ask you girls something...I understand that you like a guy who looks after his appearance and dresses well, but to what extent does that influence your opinion of a guy and do you think we're being lied to by the media?

 

[Bevlina]

You are being lied to alright Pok!
The plain fact is - and I'll speak for girls I know here - plus me as I am a female even though I'm past my used by date - girls look for a neat, clean man with nice manners.
Thoughtful, kind and gentle. Clothes do not the person make. It's personality that makes the bloke.

 

[crashedman]

I don't necessarily agree.

Some girls like men with long raggedy hair, a brash arrogant attitude and who buy their clothes at life-line, or that shop in the Valley that sells jeans and shirts which have spoofs of the Fonz, Bundaberg Rum or some soporiphic cartoon characters like Zig & Zag, or Eric Cartman emblazoned on them.

They want a teddy to their mother and a tiger in the tent. ;-)

I have asked myself why it is that some girls fall in love with men like that, thinking that their love can change them whilst enduring getting beaten up and bruised in the process. I've never been one of those guys, but my attempts to be a rock icon just fell on deaf ears.

However, I've been described by one lady I fancied as being more feminine than most guys because of my quiet passive manner in real life. Her late husband was a body-builder whom she was married to for less than a year, and since then her parents have never really warmed to any guy that she has befriended.

Even though I liked them as people, I can't say that I blame them for the way they feel either.


Crashedman

 

[lozzie]

Yeah fully, how insane is it how much we guys are being dictated what we have to wear!
A couple of months back, I went out to buy another jacket or top for the cold weather here in Melbourne...I looked around at the 'in' surf/skate shops at Knox shopping centre, like Jettysurf and Ozmosis and to get anything half decent I was gonna be spending around $120. Normally I'd be fine with it and hand over the cash but I this time I felt pretty ticked off when I thought about the fact that it probably cost them $5 to make overseas in a sweatshop and suckers like me would pay $120 cos we've been conned by labels!
I think I'm just coming to learn that I don't need labels and fashion to feel good about myself...

The impression we're given is that to be anything special, we have to fit the metro image and have the right surf/skate clothes and do our hair a certain way...
But I have to ask you girls something...I understand that you like a guy who looks after his appearance and dresses well, but to what extent does that influence your opinion of a guy and do you think we're being lied to by the media?

lol... i dont think i've ever paid 120 bucks for an item of clothing (bar formal dresses) in my life. I'm the biggest stinge when it comes to buying clothes. But all you're really doing is paying for a label. back when i was 13 and 14 it had to be brandname... but i buy a lot from Jay Jays these days (eg 3 tops for $15) cant get much cheaper than that

I say dress the way you want to dress. I'd actually say clothing does play a miniscule role in meeting people... but only because you can tell someones subculture by their clothing... eg i'd never randomly go talk to a homie. if that makes sense... so in terms of that, yes clothing does make a difference... but in terms of just in general one brand to another, hair-do to another... no. because its your personality that shines through anyway

 

[InTheFlame]

Neighbours is really irritating me at the moment. I watch it occasionally, and have noticed that unless a guy and gal are sleeping together, they're not considered to be 'together'. I started noticing when I saw Libby saying something along the lines of, she wasn't sure what was going on with a bloke because he said he loved her, they'd kissed, but it'd been a couple of weeks and there was no more 'action'! GRRRR. It's not the fact that characters aren't conforming to my morals that irritates me. It's that the whole message being taught seems to be that sex is most important, a good relationship comes from that... or something?

Appealing to the opposite sex... well the 'muffin' look I see at the moment is soooooo sexy... you know, tight hipsters with a roll of (perfectly normal and healthy, btw) flesh hanging out over the top, like an overflowed muffin?

 

[Wolflily]

Appealing to the opposite sex... well the 'muffin' look I see at the moment is soooooo sexy... you know, tight hipsters with a roll of (perfectly normal and healthy, btw) flesh hanging out over the top, like an overflowed muffin?

A lot depends on your culture, your age, your neighborhood, etc. as to what people find appealing. I personally find that look abhorrent - it looks sloppy to have a roll of fat (even if it's a healthy sized roll!) hanging out over the edges of your pants. And it's much worse when big girls do it. I'm seeing this trend where jr high/high school aged girls are (as usual) trying to emulate rock stars or movie starts and wear clothing meant for a person with a skeletal frame or slightly larger and they think they look good when in fact they look awful. I saw a girl walking down the street the other day who was severely overweight and she had a skin tight half shirt on with mountains of fat hanging out and she looked so bad. The worse thing about it, she thinks she looks sexy but it's a cheap and slobby way to present yourself. It's a cheap way to present yourself when you've got a great body, nevermind if you don't! I don't know too many young men who are attracted to that.

 

[pokinatcha]

Yeah fully! With all the girls I've been attracted to, none of them have dressed to flaunt themselves. There's something I just find attractive about a girl who can dress in a manor that shows she has a lot of respect for her body, and doesn't lend herself to the eyes of everyone...

 

[crashedman]

A lot depends on your culture, your age, your neighborhood, etc. as to what people find appealing. I personally find that look abhorrent - it looks sloppy to have a roll of fat (even if it's a healthy sized roll!) hanging out over the edges of your pants. And it's much worse when big girls do it. I'm seeing this trend where jr high/high school aged girls are (as usual) trying to emulate rock stars or movie starts and wear clothing meant for a person with a skeletal frame or slightly larger and they think they look good when in fact they look awful. I saw a girl walking down the street the other day who was severely overweight and she had a skin tight half shirt on with mountains of fat hanging out and she looked so bad. The worse thing about it, she thinks she looks sexy but it's a cheap and slobby way to present yourself. It's a cheap way to present yourself when you've got a great body, nevermind if you don't! I don't know too many young men who are attracted to that.

Hi Wolflily,

I agree with what you've said. Man, it is absolutely pathetic!
I would have stuck my fingers down my throat at her if I saw her pass me by but she'd probably go off at me with a string of every four letter word under the sun!

I don't tend to like too many Australian women as it is. Give me a nice, trim and healthy FKK girl any day with a happy, gentle spirit.


Crashedman

 

[thejesusfish90]

A lot depends on your culture, your age, your neighborhood, etc. as to what people find appealing. I personally find that look abhorrent - it looks sloppy to have a roll of fat (even if it's a healthy sized roll!) hanging out over the edges of your pants. And it's much worse when big girls do it. I'm seeing this trend where jr high/high school aged girls are (as usual) trying to emulate rock stars or movie starts and wear clothing meant for a person with a skeletal frame or slightly larger and they think they look good when in fact they look awful. I saw a girl walking down the street the other day who was severely overweight and she had a skin tight half shirt on with mountains of fat hanging out and she looked so bad. The worse thing about it, she thinks she looks sexy but it's a cheap and slobby way to present yourself

Hi Wolflily,

I agree with what you've said. Man, it is absolutely pathetic!
I would have stuck my fingers down my throat at her if I saw her pass me by but she'd probably go off at me with a string of every four letter word under the sun!

I don't tend to like too many Australian women as it is. Give me a nice, trim and healthy FKK girl any day with a happy, gentle spirit.

Man, that is really harsh on girls who are big...I really have a great deal of empathy for them...Society these days just has no place for them and they are just trying to fit in in what way they think is best...Have you ever seen lines of clothing designed specifically for big girls, or a really popular fashion model who was big? What about T.V stars that are big? They have absolutely NO role models, no one they can relate to who is popular, no one whos style they can mimmick....And almost always it isn't their fault that they are big...They are usually just a victim of a high calorie consumer society, or simply are built big or just have overweight genes (they do exist)...One of my close relatives is very large, but thats because she has a medical condition relating to her digestion of Carbohydrates, yet everyone looks at her as if it were her own fault...My point show a little sympathy for these people, they are victims of a society that has made them big and not given them a place in this society...

 

[crashedman]

Hi,

There are fashion magazines aimed at plus sized women, and in fact one of my last photographic ventures was photographing a 19-year-old Italian girl who was a size 16 out at Kangaroo Point. She was quite nice girl as well.

In fact, there are some fuller-figured models out there like Sophie Dahl. I think she is gorgeous, even though she has lost a substantial amount of weight in the last few years.

Unless one has the 'fat' gene, I largely think society has a lot to answer for with its endorsement of high fat, high calorie foods and it's only recently that the public is starting to sit up and pay attention.


Crashedman

 

[num_me_vexo]

Hi Wolflily,

I agree with what you've said. Man, it is absolutely pathetic!
I would have stuck my fingers down my throat at her if I saw her pass me by but she'd probably go off at me with a string of every four letter word under the sun!

I don't tend to like too many Australian women as it is. Give me a nice, trim and healthy FKK girl any day with a happy, gentle spirit.


Crashedman

Thats very mean, if she wants to dress that way its nobody elses buisness. That kind of recation, sticking ur fingers in ur throat could really damage a girl's elf esteem.

 

[lozzie]

Hi Wolflily,

I agree with what you've said. Man, it is absolutely pathetic!
I would have stuck my fingers down my throat at her if I saw her pass me by but she'd probably go off at me with a string of every four letter word under the sun!

I don't tend to like too many Australian women as it is. Give me a nice, trim and healthy FKK girl any day with a happy, gentle spirit.


Crashedman

your attitude is disgusting! sorry to be so blatant... but it IS! to say that you would stick your fingers down your throat is the most horible reaction i've ever heard. that doesnt reflect on personality at ALL!

Society these days just has no place for them and they are just trying to fit in in what way they think is best...Have you ever seen lines of clothing designed specifically for big girls, or a really popular fashion model who was big?

thats so true chris... i'm not exactly a small girl. and for years I hated buying clothes. I'm only just starting to build up a 'nice' wardrobe now. It can be so depressing to walk into a store of clothes that you might actually want to buy and know that everything is going to be too small, or hoping for the chance that there might actually be one of them in your size on the shelf... its funny, cause at the beginning of the year i was talking to a sales girl and she was saying how the store didnt even order for what sizes were on demand. so all the large sizes, and the tiny sizes were the very first things to sell, and that they'd only get like one of each of them anyway.

i honestly dont care what people think of me or how i look... as long as i'm happy thats what matters. i watched a girl at church who is much larger than i loose heaps of weight by going onto a low carbs diet last year... thats all good and well, but she ended up putting most of it back on afterwards. some people arent meant to be stick thin, and dont have these awsome metabolisms that other people might. i know i'd eat heaps more stuff like cheese and other dairy products if i could. i love it. but i gain weight if i eat more than i should. its not my fault i dont have a fantastic metabolism.

 

[Western Deity]

There's nothing wrong with being fat, but everybody needs to accept that clothes aren't made for everybody. There are fat people clothes, and there are normal-skinny people clothes. When fat people wear normal people clothes, it can look awful. I think that is all that is being said here...

 

[lozzie]

yes, but bigger girls dont neccessarily want to be given the only option to look like they are wering 40 year old ladies clothing...

i would agree, you need to dress in a manner that looks becoming... no point trying to squeeze into something that doesnt fit right and makes you look vulgar.

 

[Western Deity]

^ You applauded this thread because it is about being yourself and then you go and stereotype 40+ year old women. Nice.

 

[lozzie]

mmm... thats not what i meant. but theres a difference between looking like a teenager and looking like you're sophisticated. i just meant that its a subculture of dress that larger sizes dont cater for

 

[pokinatcha]

I was thinking about things today...
I found myself suddenly asking the question, when was the last time someone actually made an effort to tell me that I'm alright just as I am? I thought about it and I really couldn't recall the last time that happened if ever. Without even knowing it, I've always felt that I was just that little bit off being alright and I could probably get there if I hung around the right people, got the right clothes...maybe changed my personality a bit...
I'm gonna take a guess and say I'm probably not alone in this. But it makes you wonder who the culprit is for making us feel this way...I guess most of it is the media and companies trying to sell us products by telling us it will improve our life somehow and we'd be incomplete without it.
But at what point were we told what the benchmark was that we have to aim for to feel adequate with our body, personality and posessions?
Makes you wish everyone would just get off our backs and start telling you that you're good how you are right now, and don't change a thing!