mircomanaging?

[vibrant]

i was reading boundless (was bored) and i realized that "biblical" courtship is a way to mircomanage and avoid/reduce risk. it's weird but it's like they're claiming if you take out all of these factors, including ourselves and our youthful ways, that we'll have something good and safe... like there's too much risk in going it by ourselves.

but its not safer. it comes with its own risks -- risks that any dating is prone to, pains that come when you delay every meaningful aspect of your relationship and have to start, and hardships that comes when you have to face reality without having your relationship mircomanaged and mapped out for you.

and you can't manage every aspect of the relationship. that's just feigning control.

 

[Sketcher]

Dating is pretty much a political topic in Christianity, and Boundless is very strong about their views. They probably figure that if they can get more Christians marrying early, less Christians are likely to fornicate.

 

[mina]

I was roommates with a girl that was strictly courting only. And the guy that was courting her felt that way too, but in the end he told her that he was moving for a job and he decided that she wasn't the one for him- after like 2 or so years of "courting". Well she was Majorly emotionally involved and their families were involved and she has had more hurt over a relationship than near anyone i know. She hasn't dated or courted anyone since then and has a majorly weird relationship with her ex's mom.

 

[vjaine]

I agree that courting can be marketed as a safer alternative to dating, and that's not always the case.

All relationships involve risk, especially romantic ones, no matter how well we behave.

 

[Blank123]

it depends on what you mean by courting though, some people use the term and treat it no differently than serial dating, some people see it as the equvalent of engagement, and there's a whole bunch of people in the middle

it completely depends on the individuals and the couples how things are handled and what sort of results come out of the relationship

 

[~HopeFloats~]

Dating is pretty much a political topic in Christianity, and Boundless is very strong about their views. They probably figure that if they can get more Christians marrying early, less Christians are likely to fornicate.

yeah what he said

 

[sherri]

it depends on what you mean by courting though, some people use the term and treat it no differently than serial dating, some people see it as the equvalent of engagement, and there's a whole bunch of people in the middle

agree

 

[Weasel7711]

I read Boy Meets Girl and my girlfriend and I were going to try to do the courtship thing, but its like trying to avoid all these feelings that naturally come and that God created for a reason. I agree that you should try and guard your heart that the other person doesnt become a god in your eyes, but theres a limit.
I like this quote:

Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling... Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go... But, of course, ceasing to be "in love" need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from "being in love" — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriage) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God... "Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.

 

[BranwenUerchLlyr]

I found that a lot of people have opposite results by reading all of these Christian "self-help" type of books. Be it relationships or conquring lust.. People seem to end up obsessed with the very thing they were trying to learn how to fight rather than just putting their trust in God, which makes everything work in the end.

I've seen this mostly with avoiding lust books for men. A good, well-meaning Christian man that happens to have an addictive personality will really delve into these books and put them into practice, only to find themselves having even more trouble dealing with women. He becomes SO focused on "bouncing the eyes," pretending to be asexual and protecting the woman from his own thoughts that he still sees the woman as an object--only now she's become a pure angel up on a pedistal.

So basically.. Don't believe anything you read in books, unless its the Bible! =P