I am grappling with a bunch of questions: is tithing giving to your church, or kind of giving 10% to any Christian ministry? How does someone know they are really being called by God to do something? Am I being really selfish?
Let me explain. My mother-in-law believes that she is called by God to volunteer at a Christian mission. They do not pay her. Indeed, she asked if she could have this position; she invented it. She acts as a cook for visiting guests. She is in her late 40s, the single parent of a school aged child. She has no money and no assets. They both live off the donated food (mainly starches and expired sauces) at the mission, their clothing is humanitarian aid and they live at the mission. They don't have money to buy the child school supplies, toys, bus fare or medical treatment (although they'd turn it down anyway, prefering prayer). We are not in the US, so there is no 'child welfare service' to turn to; it's a poor country. there are people worse off.
The thing is, whenever my husband sees her she says, "oh, thank God! I was praying for some money. Let me have (the equivalent of a dollar). Thank you Jesus." Her daughter usually asks us for money for candy. We are not giving them much, but I am starting to resent the fact that a woman who could work (not earning much, but enough to support herself and her daughter) chooses not to. She only has a few years of working life left. I feel that she is living in some dream world where currency doesn't exist. It doesn't make any sense to me.
My husband and I talked about, rather than tithing to our church, giving her our 10%. It would be about the same as she would stand to earn as a salary anyway. I am again struggling with the notion that we are encouraging her in this lifestyle. She is chronically late and disorganized, with no particular qualifications, and I wonder if she could even keep a "real" job. I feel like she is just avoiding work, taking the easy way out. I heard about a job last week at a different Christian ministry (paid, even) and told her about it. She wouldn't even go in for the interview. That angered me.
(My husband agrees to a certain extent, although he believes she is doing God's work, so what she is doing is ok...it is giving him a great deal of grief that his mother and sister look so dirty and poor and he is concerned about their future.) I feel worse for his little sister than I do for his mother...but then again, we've got our own family to take care of and I tend to look at it (perhaps from a north american, materialistic view point?) that she is an adult, she is making her own choices, and that is her child and responsibility, not ours.
Does anyone have any wisdom and in particular advice for the questions I mentioned at the top?
Let me explain. My mother-in-law believes that she is called by God to volunteer at a Christian mission. They do not pay her. Indeed, she asked if she could have this position; she invented it. She acts as a cook for visiting guests. She is in her late 40s, the single parent of a school aged child. She has no money and no assets. They both live off the donated food (mainly starches and expired sauces) at the mission, their clothing is humanitarian aid and they live at the mission. They don't have money to buy the child school supplies, toys, bus fare or medical treatment (although they'd turn it down anyway, prefering prayer). We are not in the US, so there is no 'child welfare service' to turn to; it's a poor country. there are people worse off.
The thing is, whenever my husband sees her she says, "oh, thank God! I was praying for some money. Let me have (the equivalent of a dollar). Thank you Jesus." Her daughter usually asks us for money for candy. We are not giving them much, but I am starting to resent the fact that a woman who could work (not earning much, but enough to support herself and her daughter) chooses not to. She only has a few years of working life left. I feel that she is living in some dream world where currency doesn't exist. It doesn't make any sense to me.
My husband and I talked about, rather than tithing to our church, giving her our 10%. It would be about the same as she would stand to earn as a salary anyway. I am again struggling with the notion that we are encouraging her in this lifestyle. She is chronically late and disorganized, with no particular qualifications, and I wonder if she could even keep a "real" job. I feel like she is just avoiding work, taking the easy way out. I heard about a job last week at a different Christian ministry (paid, even) and told her about it. She wouldn't even go in for the interview. That angered me.
(My husband agrees to a certain extent, although he believes she is doing God's work, so what she is doing is ok...it is giving him a great deal of grief that his mother and sister look so dirty and poor and he is concerned about their future.) I feel worse for his little sister than I do for his mother...but then again, we've got our own family to take care of and I tend to look at it (perhaps from a north american, materialistic view point?) that she is an adult, she is making her own choices, and that is her child and responsibility, not ours.
Does anyone have any wisdom and in particular advice for the questions I mentioned at the top?
