*might trigger sorry need support*

[berry2000]

Strange feeling lately. Passing sui thoughts. Not worried i will do anything but they are bothersome. Also I'm not hearing voices or anything but i have a strong desire to self harm. Which i haven't done in over 6 months. Also i'm having weird physical symptoms like sore throat that lasted only a day, headache, and extereme fatigue. It sucks.

 

[Alaskamomma]

Hey Berry,

I was there almost two weeks ago and I ended up taking myself to the hospital. But I was hearing voices... which sucks.

Sometimes it is just good to post about it and find out that you are not alone. So hang tight, sis. God is on your side and He is holding you in the palm of His hand.

Keep talking.

 

[Alive again]

Strange feeling lately. Passing sui thoughts. Not worried i will do anything but they are bothersome. Also I'm not hearing voices or anything but i have a strong desire to self harm. Which i haven't done in over 6 months. Also i'm having weird physical symptoms like sore throat that lasted only a day, headache, and extereme fatigue. It sucks.

Hey Berry,

I was there almost two weeks ago and I ended up taking myself to the hospital. But I was hearing voices... which sucks.

Sometimes it is just good to post about it and find out that you are not alone. So hang tight, sis. God is on your side and He is holding you in the palm of His hand.

Keep talking.

Adding my prayers for you! I had a strange episode this last week where "the edges of my reality were fading" I have not had anything like that for several years (over 5). You know yourself well enough to watch closely and call for help if you need it! Please keep us informed, I am praying hard for you! Call your doc if this stuff persists!

 

[berry2000]

Thanks to you both. It's one of those days where you get back to your house and you run to the computer to see if anyone replied because you are just hanging on by a thread and any little bit of support or we are with you is all you need to keep fighting.

Yeah, I have the doc's number if it gets worse. So far the same. I am hiding it from everyone though so i still appear "normal" usually i can keep up that charade for a few days. It was really really hard to get back to work after lunch. I took a bath, which i never ever do at lunch and i really really wanted to stay home but i got up the gumption to go back. Then i had two meetings at my kids school. I guess my son is having a hard time with reading...sigh. I just got home from my day and it's a quarter til 10pm. I need to start readjusting my commitments and stress levels if this persists.

I hate bipolar disorder.

 

[angelkiss]

I've been in a mild episode myself. The irritability was unbearable last weekend, but that's getting better. I've now went into manic-mode and haven't slept well the past two nights.
Many prayers are going up for you. Hang in there.
s and es!!

 

[Alive again]

Saying a prayer for all of us. Sometimes this Fall season can really SUCK!

 

[berry2000]

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[berry2000]

Now i can hardly stay awake during the day. Nightmares at night time leads to unrestful sleep. Extreme fatigue and headaches during the day.

(sad face)

 

[Alive again]

Praying for you to find peaceful rest tonight and in the days to come, to have relief from the headache and to know how best to care for yourslef during this time!!!

 

[angelkiss]

Still praying for you.
s and es!!

 

[berry2000]

Made a good choice after a bad one.

Last night was Bible study night. Trying to figure out how to pull it off wihtout a barrage of concerns, and questions. Basically how to fake it through a bible study without arrousing suscpicion or unwanted questioning about my obviously bad mental state.

Also how not to fight with a spouse when you are ready to erupt and explode at ANYTHING for ANY REASON.

Okay, so i erupted. On the way to church. Then decided when we were at church to skip the bible study (hubby and i were at that point either yelling at each other or not talking at all). I went to a "support group" a different group that goes on wed nights at our church. One of my friends is a facilitator and has been asking me to go for a while. It's for various reasons, addictions, behaviors, codependencies and such.

I didn't think i was going to say anything. But instead i was able to share with a group some of my feelings and struggles and why i had come. The best part was i didn't have to pretend.

There was some freedom in that. And i felt less burdened when i left instead of more burden as i often feel after a night of pretending.

I am doing better today. Not a lot but not a little either, enough to not be in as much pain as the previous days. Enough to function. That's all i really need.

 

[Alive again]

Made a good choice after a bad one.

Last night was Bible study night. Trying to figure out how to pull it off without a barrage of concerns, and questions. Basically how to fake it through a bible study without arousing suspicion or unwanted questioning about my obviously bad mental state.

I am thankful to be in a church where it is safe to talk about those things, but sometimes, even then, you get to the point where you just don't want to!

Also how not to fight with a spouse when you are ready to erupt and explode at ANYTHING for ANY REASON.[/quote]

Amen, I so know this place, and have been there much too often lately!

Okay, so i erupted. On the way to church. Then decided when we were at church to skip the bible study (hubby and i were at that point either yelling at each other or not talking at all).

Yep, I was there just the other night! It hurts so much and I get so tired of being there.

I went to a "support group" a different group that goes on wed nights at our church. One of my friends is a facilitator and has been asking me to go for a while. It's for various reasons, addictions, behaviors, codependencies and such.

I didn't think i was going to say anything. But instead i was able to share with a group some of my feelings and struggles and why i had come. The best part was i didn't have to pretend.

There was some freedom in that. And i felt less burdened when i left instead of more burden as i often feel after a night of pretending.

I am doing better today. Not a lot but not a little either, enough to not be in as much pain as the previous days. Enough to function. That's all i really need.

Praising God that you had this opportunity. May God continue to strengthen and bless you and return you to a more stable place. May God also intervene in your relationship with your hubby and allow healing! Continuing to lift you in prayers!