Midwives [open]

none the wiser · Apr 13, 2007

Alas, I'm not pregnant.

However, I plan on becoming a midwife (mebbe) after I get my nursing degree. Yet, something has been plaguing me. I figure by the time I'm done with school, I'll be maybe 25, 26. No plans to have kids at the moment, and definitely not before age 25. I worry that this would ruin my credibility as a good midwife. If a woman in labor says that I have no idea what it feels like...well...she's right lol. I honestly have no idea. I can only imagine, and I figure that only goes so far yknow.:o

Would you choose a midwife who has never had kids? Why or why not? Sorry for intruding by the way...but I figured you all would be the best ones to ask.

none the wiser · Apr 13, 2007

Also, can a mod make this open...4 hours of sleep is starting to catch up with me.

RoseofLima · Apr 13, 2007

Sure- I would.... no one knows what a laboring woman is experiencing. I have had a bunch of kids- but when I assist at births I still cannot experience what the laboring woman is experiencing.

For me it's all about technical knowledge and an ability to be open to the big emotions surrounding birth. I don't think that has anything to do with having had children or not. For example, my OB is a man--but has never been in labor- and yet is very reverent and respectful of how I birth and my birthing energy...which has been different at each of the three of my births I have had him at. But he is willing to sit back and watch and wait and stay out of my way....and I love him for that! That's all a great midwife is really skillful at-- that watching and waiting and facilitating a woman to have the birth she really wants given the circumstances.

ChristianMama84 · Apr 13, 2007

As long as she's qualified, that's all that matters.

Naomi4Christ · Apr 13, 2007

little owl said:
Alas, I'm not pregnant.

However, I plan on becoming a midwife (mebbe) after I get my nursing degree. Yet, something has been plaguing me. I figure by the time I'm done with school, I'll be maybe 25, 26. No plans to have kids at the moment, and definitely not before age 25. I worry that this would ruin my credibility as a good midwife. If a woman in labor says that I have no idea what it feels like...well...she's right lol. I honestly have no idea. I can only imagine, and I figure that only goes so far yknow.:o

Would you choose a midwife who has never had kids? Why or why not? Sorry for intruding by the way...but I figured you all would be the best ones to ask.

My first midwife had no children and she was fab. I think most midwives haven't had their own babies, but when they do and return to work, they are even better at their jobs.

BananaCake · Apr 13, 2007

little owl said:
Would you choose a midwife who has never had kids? Why or why not? Sorry for intruding by the way...but I figured you all would be the best ones to ask.

It's funny you should ask that. Most of the midwives around here are lesbians with no kids

~Mrs. A2J~ · Apr 13, 2007

When I had my son it was at a birthing center with a team of midwives. They ranged in age from young to old and I have no idea if any of them had kids. It had no bearing on my decision to use them. They were all fabulous.

Leanna · Apr 13, 2007

I used a team of certified nurse midwives, and I didn't even ask if they had kids.... but I assume they all did I actually think age is more important to me, I would feel uncomfortable with a 25 year old midwife .... all of mine were old enough to feel motherly .... if I were you I would become a doula while training to become a midwife that way even if you haven't gone through it you will have even more experience.

none the wiser · Apr 13, 2007

Thanks ladies Your answers were really helpful.

Leanna, that's actually a really good idea. I may look into that...

honeyoatcereal · Apr 13, 2007

My midwife had never had kids and she was great with my delivery

seamonster · Apr 13, 2007

I agree with Rose

Everyone's experiences during labor are different so no one will understand completely how labor felt for you. I know some women who think labor was the worst pain they've ever felt and other women who tell me that it didn't hurt any worse than having a bowl movement. What's more important to me than having experienced labor yourself is understanding how to help me through the pain I'm experiencing and encourage me that labor isn't going to last forever and that the end result is worth the pain

As for age...a couple of the midwives I saw weren't over 30 and they were GREAT. I think you should go for it if it's what you want to do

none the wiser · Apr 14, 2007

Thanks I feel a lot better about this lol.

Athene · Apr 14, 2007

When you're in labour in extreme discomfort you don't want the midwife to empathise with you, who would tell you they know exactly how you feel . .that's not helpful at all, you need a midwife who is going to coach you through the birth and encourage you - you don't need to have had a baby of your own to do that.

The only trap you need to look out for is the one male obs frequently fall into, believing that labouring women need loads of help and can't do a thing on their own - if you'd given birth yourself you'd know that a woman is perfectly capable, but I've told you about it now so no excuses.

Kazamataz · Apr 14, 2007

little owl said:
Alas, I'm not pregnant.

However, I plan on becoming a midwife (mebbe) after I get my nursing degree. Yet, something has been plaguing me. I figure by the time I'm done with school, I'll be maybe 25, 26. No plans to have kids at the moment, and definitely not before age 25. I worry that this would ruin my credibility as a good midwife. If a woman in labor says that I have no idea what it feels like...well...she's right lol. I honestly have no idea. I can only imagine, and I figure that only goes so far yknow.:o

Would you choose a midwife who has never had kids? Why or why not? Sorry for intruding by the way...but I figured you all would be the best ones to ask.

I think whats more important is a midwife who's confident and knows what they are doing.

Although it helps you, if you have had a baby yourself it's not essential to you doing your job.

In any sort of medical profession you should never say to your patience "you know what they are going through."

Cause the fact is you don't everyone experiences everything differently. so even if you have a baby your birth experience will be so different to anyone else.

So to answer your question if you know what your doing and you do your job right i wouldnt have a problem with you being my midwife :0)

GolfingMom · Apr 14, 2007

With my first I used a CNM and she was THE BEST! She had no children and was young, gentle, loving - she was awesome.
She moved when I was pregnant with my second and I had an older CNM with no children and I DID NOT like her. I chose to go w/ the 'other' midwife in the office who had 3 kids and didn't care too much for her either.
I think if you are gentle, caring and helpful - it doesn't matter...

JCmyFriend · Apr 15, 2007

I had a student midwife with no children. She was lovely. I actually learnt alot from her. Try not to let people change your mind or put you down just because you have no children. If this is what you want to do, then you should persue it. You will always come across creul people in your lifetime. But let the love of our Lord shine brightly through and you will be able to overcome anything.

ChristianMama84 · Apr 15, 2007

JCmyFriend said:
I had a student midwife with no children. She was lovely. I actually learnt alot from her. Try not to let people change your mind or put you down just because you have no children. If this is what you want to do, then you should persue it. You will always come across creul people in your lifetime. But let the love of our Lord shine brightly through and you will be able to overcome anything.

^ Now, this is good advice.

nateboy · Apr 15, 2007

That would just stink if I had a midwife that thought delivery wasn't that bad. I would rather have a midwife who have never delivered a baby rather than one who thought that labor was semi-easy!!

Leanna · Apr 15, 2007

nateboy said:
That would just stink if I had a midwife that thought delivery wasn't that bad. I would rather have a midwife who have never delivered a baby rather than one who thought that labor was semi-easy!!

I agree, but I doubt there are any midwives like that out there, it doesn't take much time with laboring women to see that they are laboring and it is hard work ... early labor is one thing (like before 6 centimeters), but transition or a fast labor is another thing and I'm sure they all know the difference in the way women behave.... that's what all that education and practice is all about

Linnis · Apr 15, 2007

I personally think the personality of the person is more important than if they have or have not had kids. I mean, too soft and they'd be useless...too much like a drill Sargent and I'd tell em where to go.

Then again I didn't have anyone with me while I labored except DH. By 4-5 I even told the nurses to go take a flying leap. My husband knew when to be supportive and hold my hand or rub my back and when not to.

Really until the pushing, except for ideas on how to try and work through the pain...back rubs, water, ball, walking, rocking etc...there isn't a lot anyone can do. It all comes down to the mama. Even then, when they feeling to push comes...you know!

I personally thought all of labor hurt equally and the pushing didn't hurt. So yeah, the whole what hurts and what doesn't is a VERY personal thing, different for each woman and each labor.

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