Midlife Turning Points

[JAM2b]

I'm 43. My life looks nothing like I had planned when I was young and thought things would work out.

I'm divorced, not in any serious relationship, not seeking one, questioning if I should or even want to. I've got one grown kid in college who is doing well academically but struggling in other areas with disability. I've got one teenager with some disability and huge insecurities and is in no hurry to grow up. I have chronic health problems, and physically function like I'm elderly due to old injuries and neurological problem. I work a job I hate for a corporation that literally breaks our wages down to 1/1000 of a penny to make sure they don't over pay us, and every time we get a raise they are very sketchy about it, dragging it out and having excuses for why it didn't happen when we were told.

I love to write and try to become published. It hasn't happened yet. I have a partially finished college education which is not the field I originally chose, but one I do enjoy a lot. I feel very drawn to finishing a degree so I can have a career that is meaningful, stimulating, and that I enjoy. I started college as a premed major, tried nursing school, then switched to child psychology.

In a weird way I feel more capable than I have in a long time. I've been thinking about options, and reading about educational paths and considering stepping-stone jobs that will help me move up in a particular field. I've started refreshing my mind academically, going through old college books. That way if I do get to try again, I won't have a difficult time because of things I've forgotten. I'm browsing college books on amazon and ebay. When I finish one, I want to get another. I want to try microbiology again; that one kicked my tail and I dropped it, but I also took while I was a nursing student and had almost 20 hours of classes and clinical assignments, and raising my three year old with no support or help from my then-husband. If I get to go back to college, I want it to be like I didn't miss a day, not a single beat.

I've also got health goals. Very tiny health goals. When I achieve one, I'm going to move to the next. I'd like to function like my age, not like my grandparents. I'm considering the possibility of knee replacement, but can't afford to at this time.

I just keep wondering if I should try to baby step my way into the medical field, should I try to finish my psych degree, or would I just be wasting time and effort and money.

I don't want to talk about this with anyone in my life. I get nothing but a bunch of discouraging comments or patronizing smiles and statements.

 

[dqhall]

I'm 43. My life looks nothing like I had planned when I was young and thought things would work out.

I'm divorced, not in any serious relationship, not seeking one, questioning if I should or even want to. I've got one grown kid in college who is doing well academically but struggling in other areas with disability. I've got one teenager with some disability and huge insecurities and is in no hurry to grow up. I have chronic health problems, and physically function like I'm elderly due to old injuries and neurological problem. I work a job I hate for a corporation that literally breaks our wages down to 1/1000 of a penny to make sure they don't over pay us, and every time we get a raise they are very sketchy about it, dragging it out and having excuses for why it didn't happen when we were told.

I love to write and try to become published. It hasn't happened yet. I have a partially finished college education which is not the field I originally chose, but one I do enjoy a lot. I feel very drawn to finishing a degree so I can have a career that is meaningful, stimulating, and that I enjoy. I started college as a premed major, tried nursing school, then switched to child psychology.

In a weird way I feel more capable than I have in a long time. I've been thinking about options, and reading about educational paths and considering stepping-stone jobs that will help me move up in a particular field. I've started refreshing my mind academically, going through old college books. That way if I do get to try again, I won't have a difficult time because of things I've forgotten. I'm browsing college books on amazon and ebay. When I finish one, I want to get another. I want to try microbiology again; that one kicked my tail and I dropped it, but I also took while I was a nursing student and had almost 20 hours of classes and clinical assignments, and raising my three year old with no support or help from my then-husband. If I get to go back to college, I want it to be like I didn't miss a day, not a single beat.

I've also got health goals. Very tiny health goals. When I achieve one, I'm going to move to the next. I'd like to function like my age, not like my grandparents. I'm considering the possibility of knee replacement, but can't afford to at this time.

I just keep wondering if I should try to baby step my way into the medical field, should I try to finish my psych degree, or would I just be wasting time and effort and money.

I don't want to talk about this with anyone in my life. I get nothing but a bunch of discouraging comments or patronizing smiles and statements.

After I turned 40 I went back to school at a year round for profit college that accepted almost anyone with cash. Before this I had an associate degree in business admin. I had two failed attempts towards a geology degree. I transferred all the credits I could and graduated with a computer information systems degree before I turned 42. I got a high GPA. I got a job in 2001 as a computer application engineer. The venture that hired me disbanded after I was there 2 yrs and 10 months. We were all laid off. It was the dot com bust. There were too many tech workers out of work, few job openings. My skill was in an obsolete document formatting application that connected to a database program for billing/dunning letters. I continued to study Biblical archaeology and the stock market. I was not able to learn a new computer language except some HTML. I went back to building maintenance and repair. My stock market skills improved. I am 60; would not go back to school at this point. I audited some online courses for free until they put up a pay wall. A favorite was an economics course by Nobel Prize winning Robert Shiller of Yale. I learned a little Spanish, but am not in a Spanish area and cut off Spanish studies. I joined some online Biblical archaeology and nutrition groups.

Three years ago I dated a 57 year old widow in good health. She was an out of work LPN with an adopted child and natural child at home. She had dropped out of nursing to raise a large family. She told me she would need to go to school to get an LPN certification again. It is a one year course. She did not go back to school. I recommended she become a home health care worker. She did. She built a house on two lots she bought from what her husband left to her. We broke up after she started dating someone in better health than I. I remained in communication for a time. She started her own home health care agency and started hiring. Communications stopped. I recently found I have a heart condition. I attribute it to bad nutrition, pollution, etc.. I may never marry. There are thousands of charities begging for help. I worried about not finding good charities to share with.

 

[blackribbon]

I went back and got my nursing degree after I was 45 and have been an RN for 5 years now. That said, I wouldn't recommend Nursing right now. It isn't a healthy field at the moment. They are expecting too much while giving too many patients. Big important hospitals are dealing with nurses who are frustrated and many are organizing unions to demand hospitals allow us to provide safe care. Nursing school was also very physical as well as mentally exhausting. I just had my hip replaced at 53 related to a genetic issue but other family members have made it to 70. I know my pedometer said I walked 4 to 5 miles on a shift.
That said, it is never to late to learn something new and go back to school. "Non-traditional" students tend to do better because we have more direction and purpose. Make sure what you do choose translates into a realistic job that need a entry level employees. Make sure you can physically handle the job. Medical fields are going more into 12 hour shifts and if it is a 24gr8 job like nursing, new grads start primarily on nightshift. Also know how much education you need because a lot of psychology fields require a master's degree. Look around for aide positions in the same field. They often have lower educational requirements and you can start working while you work for a higher degree while getting experience....and maybe you will like the aide job the best...and decide that is enough.
Regardless, go talk to your local schools counselors. They may be able to help you find financial aide in grants and scholarships to get you going. That's how God kicked me in the pants. I went in to find out what I needed to get into nursing school and walked out registered...and got in some classes that should have been closed by then.
There are so many more resources for learning now that weren't available for my first degree. I could now print pics of microscope slides and glue them on index card so I could carry flashcards in my pocket. The first time in school, I'd have to walk across campus and hope a microscope was available to study on. And there are great YouTube's that teach every topic along with memory aids as needed.
I suggest that you stop reading on your own and sign up for even a single class to get you moving in the right direction.
Good-luck. It is never too late but pick wisely. It definitely is worth it. You start to feel better about yourself and start feeling like person instead just a mom. This time is for you.

 

[bèlla]

Greetings,

I think it would be wise to consider a profession that won’t exacerbate your condition. You can combine your writing and interest in health care to wellness or health coaching. Behavioral medicine is a thriving industry.

Dr. Sears has a great program worth considering. This is a popular blogging niche made better if you provide nutritious recipes. If cooking isn’t your forte, Bluprint is offering a deal on their yearly membership for $39.99. They have numerous cooking and baking courses from well-known chefs.

~Bella