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Mentorship

akmom

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Jun 13, 2012
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I have one of the happiest marriages I know and if a younger couple asked us to be their mentor, I'd say no. We have two full time jobs, two part time jobs, three kids, an ex wife, bosses, travelling for work, plus trying to squeeze in time for one-on-one for the kids, time for ourselves, time for family... We don't have time for that too.

Well yes. I think the point is to have an older mentor. You know, a married couple who is not at that hectic stage of life any more, who can look back with some perspective.

A lot of people grew up with divorce, and their parents never had a healthy marriage. So maybe they don't even know what that looks like. I can see how it would be useful to hear successful couples share the details of their marriages. Maybe they could relate and see a healthy way of handling conflict that maybe they never got to experience as kids. In college I used to volunteer at a center for troubled youth, and you'd be surprised what common sense strategies to "getting along" are totally lacking from their mental arsenal, and how receptive they were to these strategies when they were taught. I'm thinking there's probably a lot of "common sense" marriage strategy that might seem foreign to someone who actually never grew up seeing adults get along.
 
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seeingeyes

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I have one of the happiest marriages I know and if a younger couple asked us to be their mentor, I'd say no. We have two full time jobs, two part time jobs, three kids, an ex wife, bosses, travelling for work, plus trying to squeeze in time for one-on-one for the kids, time for ourselves, time for family... We don't have time for that too.

And if you asked my husband, he'd say hell no.

If some couple asked me to mentor them, I'd probably jump at the chance. I love other people's stories, and being given carte blanche to insert my opinion? Sign me up!

My husband probably wouldn't even understand the question.

Me: Babe, guess what? Remember Sue and James, they got married last year? Well, they asked me if we could be their marriage mentors!

Hubs: That sounds like the worst super power ever.

Me: C'mon, it'd be fun! We could hang out and talk about relationships and how to work through problems...

Hubs: Their getting divorced already? That was quick.

Me: No. No, they're doing fine. They're happy.

Hubs: Then what do they need help with?

Me: They just want to learn from a couple that's been together a long time.

Hubs: Well, just tell 'em to keep doing what they're doing. Seems to be working. Easy enough.

Me: #@$%!

^_^
 
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