Men... Why are they so hard to read?

[Laurie919]

Okay if you are standing in church talking to someone and a man comes up behind you and turns you around to hug you, wouldn't you take that he likes you.

 

[Gimpy]

I would think so and would also consider him a bit too agressive.
Or maybe he just likes the idea of controlling someone else

 

[BoarderDave]

No.. I would be like.. Umm dude.. Im trying to have a conversation here.

Kidding.

But in all seriousness.. that's a MAYBE in my book. I personally wouldn't put that much effort into a hug unless I found the girl attractive or liked her.. but then again, I know a lot of people that just enjoy hugs that much that they will go out of their way to give a hug.

 

[Tumbleweed64]

I would start paying real close attention to his "body language" AND... do you like him?

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Yeah, I would take that to mean he liked you, but it would also be a bit off putting to me. It doesn't seem like a very polite or respectful thing to do when you are having a conversation with another person.

 

[Laurie919]

I think he is AWESOME!!!! But he goes through girlfriends wayyyyy to fast.

 

[PhantomTorment]

Women are just as hard to figure out, so no complaining about men...PEOPLE are difficult to understand

 

[HolyOne87]

i agree with others. It might be possible.
Has he ever done that before to you?
Like Tumbleweed said, pay attention to body language.
See what happens.

 

[eugeneandbobo]

that's a MAYBE in my book. I personally wouldn't put that much effort into a hug unless I found the girl attractive or liked her.. but then again, I know a lot of people that just enjoy hugs that much that they will go out of their way to give a hug.

i know some people, that are just that friendly. they go around and hug anyone and everyone...every case is a little different, but i wouldn't think anything of it really.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

Nice to see you back here,

I do not think men are hard to read except we are usually reading to much into things..

 

[Gardener101]

Why are men so hard to read?

Genesis 3: 16 To the woman he said,
"Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you."

 

[Laurie919]

Nice to see you back here,

I do not think men are hard to read except we are usually reading to much into things..

i have to agree with this we read to much into things.

he and i have so much in common i just wish he would see it, lol.

 

[2scoops]

Yeah, I wouldn't say that means he likes you, guess there's only one way to find out.

 

[RonnyRulz]

It's not just men, EVERYONE is hard to read. Because some people are very friendly or even very affectionate, but NOT in a romantic way, just platonic.
Likewise some people, even when romantic, aren't very friendly or affectionate.

If you have interest in a guy that you think might have interest in you, then let him know somehow and go for it.

It's a lot easier to be blunt and just say you're interested than to mess around with flirting and seeing his reaction, playing some kind of game. People send "clues" and "hints" because they lack the guts to just outflat tell the person. If you do that, you'll get the same amount of response as the response you put in. The heavier the hint, the more likely he'll catch on, but nothing compares to just outflat saying it, without shrowding it in uncertainty.

The worst that can happen is you get completely humiliated and rejected. The best is that he feels the same way. Better to find out early than to wonder and worry about it because you only dropped a few hints that he hasn't got yet.

But then again, you should be praying about everything, even the small things like this, so that you're in God's Will. He'll tell you what is best for you, if you should go for it or not. The biggest mistake Christians make is not taking the small things of life to God. Well, also the big things too. One reason some people have so many messed up marriages and relationships is that they didn't listen to God's Will in the first place. Not saying that your marriage will be absolutely perfect if it's in God's Will, because some people have to suffer. But for the majority of people, the reason their marriages fail is because it wasn't meant to be in the first place or because they fell out of God's Will in their own personal lives, or were never really knowers of Jesus in the first place. A lot of men claim to be good christians just to get a girl. Only God can tell you if that man is a liar or not. And even if he isn't, that still doesn't mean he's right for you.

 

[eugeneandbobo]

like ronnie said...

blunt is good.

on a side note, so is james blunt. i like him. he has that song so long jimmy...its muy bueno

 

[CalmInTheStorm]

I think age has to be considered here, if this is a 20 year old kid, then the lack of respect for the conversation you were in could as easily just be his youtfulness and not a "sign." If he is older then you or around your age then I would hope he has a clue of what he is doing, which probably means he really wanted to hug you, so he did. Why did he really want to hug you? That's the mystery. Sad to say that even older men do not realize that every action they take can really throw their sisters for a loop, but I will agree with the earlier statements "Blunt is Good" It may not be as romantic or playful, but it will answer the question and bring about peace of mind on the matter, which is good IMO. Good Luck!

 

[RonnyRulz]

like ronnie said...

blunt is good.

on a side note, so is james blunt. i like him. he has that song so long jimmy...its muy bueno

I'm not offended or anything, as I am used to this, but I want to ask a question that I've always wondered....

Why do people spell my name as Ronnie, despite the fact that it is blatantly obvious in my name that it is spelt Ronny? I.e. RonnyRulz.

I've never understood that, and it's always been annoying and even a tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny TINY bit hurtful that somone doesn't even care about my name enough to spell it correctly, LOL. (I'm not hurt by it at all, as I'm used to it, so don't be offended and don't feel bad, but it does suck that people mispel your name all the time )

Just wondering, because I get it A LOT, and I never understood why. My names says RonnyRulz, not RonnieRulz. And people don't mispel other names on the internet. Nobody reads JohnRulz and spells it as Jon. Or reads SeanRulz and spells it as Shawn.

I've always wondered why, because my name IS NOT Ronnie.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

But then again, you should be praying about everything, even the small things like this, so that you're in God's Will. He'll tell you what is best for you, if you should go for it or not. The biggest mistake Christians make is not taking the small things of life to God. Well, also the big things too. One reason some people have so many messed up marriages and relationships is that they didn't listen to God's Will in the first place. Not saying that your marriage will be absolutely perfect if it's in God's Will, because some people have to suffer. But for the majority of people, the reason their marriages fail is because it wasn't meant to be in the first place or because they fell out of God's Will in their own personal lives, or were never really knowers of Jesus in the first place. A lot of men claim to be good christians just to get a girl. Only God can tell you if that man is a liar or not. And even if he isn't, that still doesn't mean he's right for you.

And I have to add another reason for divorce is taking the marriage or spouse for granted. A vital marriage needs to be nurtured; the couple needs to relate to each other as individuals, not just the mommy/daddy unit.

And there are people who think they are living a Christian life, but have accepted the world's norms for dating. They think sexual purity just means not cheating on your spouse.

Oh, and is it just us women who are able to ignore those red flags after you're already in love with the person? Are men better at thinking of the relationship in a logical manner? I hate to admit it, but if he had asked, I probably would've agreed to marry my ex-bf, but pre-marital classes would've been a must. And even then, if the red flags were waving furiously, would I have been able to end it?

Am I taking this thread off topic? Maybe Laurie wants to know this too.

 

[RonnyRulz]

Are men better at thinking of the relationship in a logical manner?

Absolutely not. The exact same thing applies to men as women and women as men. I only said it in that way because I read SO MANY stories about women being LIED TO by men claiming to be christians, and I've heard little to no stories of women lying to get the men.
My mom was even lied to by my dad and before that her ex-husband. They both claimed to be passionate christians. After they were married, the first one said he was an atheist and the second became "jewish" but doesn't really know what he believes.

I'm pretty sure it's more common that the man lies to get the women than the women lying about christianity to get the man. From my experience, men lie A LOT in relationships, while women don't lie as much about their religion, and the guy falls for her anyway. Heh, even in popular culture like a movie I just watched "School for Scoundrels" one of the "lessons" the men had to learn to get women was "Lie Lie Lie and Lie some more."
Although I don't know if it's the women's fault most of the time, from what I read it really doesn't seem like it is. It always seems like the man's fault for being such a horrible person and being so pathetic in relation to being a REAL man (Godly, emotional, not hiding their emotions to be "manly", etc. etc.)

I don't know much about the average women in our society, but the average american male is incredibly emotionally, mentally, and spiritually unhealthy, and women pretty much are screwed when it comes to relationships.
Luckily there's guys like me out there, but we're few and far between. Even finding a good christian guy is SO HARD because SO MANY guys LIE about being a good christian.
I really really feel sorry for women, because most of them seem so sweet, yet most men are so absolutely evil, mentally/emotionally messed up, and just outflat crappy.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

Absolutely not. The exact same thing applies to men as women and women as men. I only said it in that way because I read SO MANY stories about women being LIED TO by men claiming to be christians, and I've heard little to no stories of women lying to get the men.
My mom was even lied to by my dad and before that her ex-husband. They both claimed to be passionate christians. After they were married, the first one said he was an atheist and the second became "jewish" but doesn't really know what he believes.

I'm pretty sure it's more common that the man lies to get the women than the women lying about christianity to get the man. From my experience, men lie A LOT in relationships, while women don't lie as much about their religion, and the guy falls for her anyway. Heh, even in popular culture like a movie I just watched "School for Scoundrels" one of the "lessons" the men had to learn to get women was "Lie Lie Lie and Lie some more."
Although I don't know if it's the women's fault most of the time, from what I read it really doesn't seem like it is. It always seems like the man's fault for being such a horrible person and being so pathetic in relation to being a REAL man (Godly, emotional, not hiding their emotions to be "manly", etc. etc.)

I don't know much about the average women in our society, but the average american male is incredibly emotionally, mentally, and spiritually unhealthy, and women pretty much are screwed when it comes to relationships.
Luckily there's guys like me out there, but we're few and far between. Even finding a good christian guy is SO HARD because SO MANY guys LIE about being a good christian.
I really really feel sorry for women, because most of them seem so sweet, yet most men are so absolutely evil, mentally/emotionally messed up, and just outflat crappy.

Dude, you're not giving me much hope. I have to admit that my first ex-bf (after my divorce) was a godly man who probably just needed to heal from past childhood hurts. One treated me like a queen and was truly a Christian, but still viewing porn. The third I know he accepted Christ and made church a priority, but changed his view about pre-marital sex and it almost seemed like he wasn't going to be happy unless he tried me out before marriage. He also was the most critical person I'd ever dated and made racist remarks.

But, I have been spending time with someone who certainly "seems" like a Christian. So I haven't given up all hope. Now, a big question that a lot of the women my age have is, have these guys in their 40's been single too long to share their life with a woman day in and day out in the same house?