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Men, What Does She Do?

JesusWasn'tWhite

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I've asked my fiance this sort of thing before and he's given advice to gal friends of mine about how to be a good girlfriend and he always said that it was the little things that counted the most. The little notes I wrote him, or emails I'd drop him, the little candy bar that was all wrapped up, or the random card that I bought him and wrote tons of things in when I just wanted to say "I love you". Stuff like that.
He feels very supported from me because I value him, the work he does, and I see his work as valuable and worthwhile. I ask him about work, what he's working on, and how the business is going, even though I don't understand any of it (he's a computer/video game developer and programmer). I try to understand what he's talking about and I respect the work that he does. His last girlfriend didn't respect his profession, found it far too stupid to be anything of God, and told him to go get a 4-year liberal arts degree and never work for the man he is working for now. Well, he's working for that guy now and is making very very good money, doing something he loves, is good at, and earning an Associates while working. It really makes a difference what someone supporting, being interested in, and respecting your work can do.
He has said many a time that he feels best when I let him be the man. I let him open the doors, buy the meals, initiate and plan the special occasion dates, and when I allow him to romance me.

What's great is that all the stuff that I do for him, and the stuff he says he loves the most about our relationship and about me are things that I never would have thought to mean that much to him, but do. And it's all really simple, little stuff, like listening and being there for him.

We have this idea that the most important thing is to just "show up". You don't have to come and save the day, press a magic button to make all life's promblems go away, or be able to make me feel wonderful all the time. You just have to show up. Being there and showing up is what counts.


I really don't know if any of this helped at all. I know you asked for men to answer, but since my fiance isn't on CF, I thought I'd give it a shot.
 
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keyz

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Good post, JWW.

Aside from the little sweet things. I think one thing that blesses me the most is when someone takes an enthusiastic interest in what I'm passionate about and/or what I'm working on. I enjoy being around those that genuinely take care and want to know what I am part of. Encouragement goes a long way in that area.

One thing that will drive a dude is crazy if you do not let him be the man and baby or mother him. I suppose if he acts like a baby or kid then it's coming to him, but aside from that, don't mother.

A good meal goes a long way! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
 
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princessellie

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see it is threads like these that us gals need to see, i knew my bf hates to be mothered, so do most of us, but i never really seem to know how to make him feel special appart from telling him verbally, i can say "i love you" til im blue in the face but it doesnt seem enough and i feel that if i keep saying it it will loose it effect

i know he likes to be able to pay for the meals and stuff when we go out but i dont want him to feel like he has to concidering that im the one with the job that brings in twice as much as him

i really want to be a godly woman and allow him to be the strong man of god that i know he is but sometimes it is hard to know what to and not to do
 
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