Men Answer ONLY!

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Please men only, there is a poll for the women in the women's forum. I will be putting this in several forums, but please only vote once.

You may write comments if you like, but please be honest in the poll.

 

[meganahan]

Please men only, there is a poll for the women in the women's forum. I will be putting this in several forums, but please only vote once.

You may write comments if you like, but please be honest in the poll.

wow...if the results were public, I don't know that I'd want to answer the poll if I thought the answer would hurt my spouse's feelings.

I wonder what most men think is A LOT of weight.

 

[Darkhorse]

Nope. My wife has always been "heavy", and she has gained about 60 pounds since we met. Her weight is not a problem for me, and as long as she remains healthy, it's not a problem for her either!

In all fairness, she is sensually rounded, not grossly obese. But it's really not an issue.

 

[Mom to 5]

Nope. My wife has always been "heavy", and she has gained about 60 pounds since we met. Her weight is not a problem for me, and as long as she remains healthy, it's not a problem for her either!

In all fairness, she is sensually rounded, not grossly obese. But it's really not an issue.

Good answer! It is good to know there are some men out there who are not blinded by what society thinks is the "perfect" figure.

I have been conversing with some other people, men and women that feel like overweight spouses dont deserve to be treated kindly and lovingly because they are overweight. It has really annoyed me and made me very happy to have a husband who can see past my size. We are both overweight and working on losing, but even at over 400 pounds I find my husband very sexy (he is tall too!) Yes, I know he needs to lose weight but it does not affect the way I feel about him. I am still very much in LOVE with him and find it very shallow to hear others say that the weight makes their spouses unattractive!

BRAVO, you have a very blessed wife!

 

[urbanlemur2005]

No, because what I love about her is her heart, her personality, etc. If I had any reservations about her weight issues, it would health related, not because of physical attractiveness.

 

[Utah Knight]

beauty is within

 

[sf49erfan]

I said yes. I married a particular person, of a particular size. If I had wanted a large wife, then I would have dated large women.

That said, there are a few acceptable reasons for excessive weight gain:

1) pregnancy (she was a very beautiful pregnancy woman)

2) a medication necessary to keep her alive that has weight gain as a side affect.

I would be fine with those two conditions, but excessive weight gain from lack of self-care would bother me greatly.

 

[sf49erfan]

I wonder what most men think is A LOT of weight.

Gaining more than twenty percent of her weight on our wedding day would be considered way too much by me.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

I said yes. I married a particular person, of a particular size. If I had wanted a large wife, then I would have dated large women.

That said, there are a few acceptable reasons for excessive weight gain:

1) pregnancy (she was a very beautiful pregnancy woman)

2) a medication necessary to keep her alive that has weight gain as a side affect.

I would be fine with those two conditions, but excessive weight gain from lack of self-care would bother me greatly.

I hope that she has just as high expectations for you too

 

[Emma!]

I said yes. I married a particular person, of a particular size. If I had wanted a large wife, then I would have dated large women.

That said, there are a few acceptable reasons for excessive weight gain:

1) pregnancy (she was a very beautiful pregnancy woman)

2) a medication necessary to keep her alive that has weight gain as a side affect.

I would be fine with those two conditions, but excessive weight gain from lack of self-care would bother me greatly.

Im actually suprised that there are not more posts like this... and i can totally understand where you are coming from. And although i will no doubt 'get it' for saying this but... I am actually supprised by the number of people who are excessively overweight and act as if its their right to be that way, and there is nothing wrong with it, and their loved ones shouldnt say anything about it... thats denying it and excusing it, even when science and history says that there can be very serious issues with it (health wise)... someone who is addicted to food is no different than someone addicted to anything else...in both cases its unhealthy...an addiction is an addiction... both people need help and a spouse should certainly care!

sorry...i dont want to steal your thread... just sharing the other side of the coin that no-one seems to want to bring up...im also in the health field which is why i feel so strongly about it, this is NOT directed at anyone or in anyway meant to make anyone feel hurt etc... i just feel that in this area alot of people seem to wash their hands of their own responsibility when it comes to their health.

Interesting thread though.

 

[rasplundjr]

My Wife is nice and curvy....
She says she's fat but I think she's just right... If she wants to gain some more or lose some it's ehr perogative... I just think she's a major hottie.......

I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife..................
Sorry regressed a little there to my twenties....

 

[philknowles]

What makes a person less attractive or HOT is not always based on their weight, but their attitude, or way they carry themselves. If women are overweight, it's either because they are lazy and not driven, or hereditary. Big boned if you will. I've seen a lot of great shaped women, that are a lot less Hot than overweight driven women. Now, if you become obese, that is unattractive, and there is a sign of a lack of ambition, or the "I don't care" attitude.

 

[ImaginaryVoyager]

I said "yes". Being overweight wouldn't warrant her being treated worse, and it wouldn't make her ugly, but it would make her not quite as "hot" as she would be at a more healthy weight.

My wife and I have always struggled with this issue. When we're both eating right and getting the right exercise, we feel better, have better attitudes, and more and better.....um.....intimate times.

The good thing is, my wife tends to follow me regarding how we eat, exercise, etc, so if I'm keeping fit, she will as well, naturally.

(note to self: start that diet and exercise program TODAY )

 

[FatBurger]

My Wife is nice and curvy....
She says she's fat but I think she's just right... If she wants to gain some more or lose some it's ehr perogative... I just think she's a major hottie.......

I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife, I gotta hottie wiiiiiiiife..................
Sorry regressed a little there to my twenties....

This is exactly how I feel. My wife claims that she's put on a little weight since our wedding (I know I have), but I honestly can't see it if she has. She looks every bit as great as she did the day I met her, and that's pretty great

My wife is incredibly sexy, and I love every square inch of her body. I tell her so all the time, and I try to make sure I'm showing it too. Any future weight gain wouldn't affect how I feel about her.

 

[MoodyBlue]

I voted "depends on how much weight she gained". I have been married for 26 years, and my wife currently weighs about 30 pounds more than she did when we got married. She is still "hot" to me, and I love her regardless of her weight or gray hair or wrinkles or any other physical attributes - we all change as we get older, we can't stay young forever.

However (and I know this is not the pc thing to say), honestly, if she gained 100 pounds more, I think she may be a bit less attractive physically. The same would apply to me - if I gained 100 pounds, I would not think I looked "hot", and I wouldn't expect her to think so either. That being said, I do think our opinions about what is "hot" changes as we get older and change physically - perhaps becoming more accepting of the relentless effects of gravity.

 

[4jacks]

I am assuming you are talking about fat weight and not muscle weight (big difference)

would she be less hot... um YEAH.. that's a no brainer..
would I love her anyless... umm NO .. that's a no brainer as well..

if she gained weight to the point that it bothered me, would I encourage her to work out... YES.. she has asked me to..

This thread is going to end up in a big debate, you know that right?

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Im actually suprised that there are not more posts like this... and i can totally understand where you are coming from. And although i will no doubt 'get it' for saying this but... I am actually supprised by the number of people who are excessively overweight and act as if its their right to be that way, and there is nothing wrong with it, and their loved ones shouldnt say anything about it... thats denying it and excusing it, even when science and history says that there can be very serious issues with it (health wise)... someone who is addicted to food is no different than someone addicted to anything else...in both cases its unhealthy...an addiction is an addiction... both people need help and a spouse should certainly care!

sorry...i dont want to steal your thread... just sharing the other side of the coin that no-one seems to want to bring up...im also in the health field which is why i feel so strongly about it, this is NOT directed at anyone or in anyway meant to make anyone feel hurt etc... i just feel that in this area alot of people seem to wash their hands of their own responsibility when it comes to their health.

Interesting thread though.

Well, I guess I wasn't very clear on the thread, and I did not mean to make the poll public. Maybe I should make a new one?

I guess I should specify more clearly. If your wife gained weight and she worked out and ate right but could never loose as much as you wanted her to loose, would that make her unnattractive? Would that make you love her less?

Weighing too much can be a danger to one's health and one should be responsible for it. However, those who workout and eat healthy should not be thought of in the same way as those who eat a dozen donuts a day and never lift a finger to be healthy. No judgement, but that is just not taking care of onself. As long as one is doing their best to care for themselves and be healthy, thumbs up to them.

I seem to find it that women will say that no, it doesn't matter if he gains weight. I will love him because I love his personality, etc. While men will be like, yes, it will matter because she doesn't look like the woman that I married.

 

[4jacks]

Good answer! It is good to know there are some men out there who are not blinded by what society thinks is the "perfect" figure.

Most people would apply this comment to me, given my answer, So I'll defend my answer...

Just becuase I value the apperance of my wife, does not in anyway degrade me as a person or a christian. I do not hold society's definition of the "perfect" figure. I hold my very own, based on my own personal preferences. To say that someone is as Shallow as the general conception of "Society" becuase they have perceptions about physical beauty is blantantly incorrect. Physical beauty has it's place, it can't be the foundation of a decent relationship, but to say that Me or my wife for that matter are Shallow becuase we value it, is indeed ridiculous.

If you do not value Physical Beauty.. Then more power to you, as long as your husband agrees and you two are happy, I'm not going agrue. But to say that people who place any value on physical beauty are "blinded" ... well I'll stop there.

funny how i just posted about this turning into a debate, and then I start debating =)

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

I am assuming you are talking about fat weight and not muscle weight (big difference)

would she be less hot... um YEAH.. that's a no brainer..
would I love her anyless... umm NO .. that's a no brainer as well..

if she gained weight to the point that it bothered me, would I encourage her to work out... YES.. she has asked me to..

This thread is going to end up in a big debate, you know that right?

Well, if it goes into a debate...I got no control. I really just was curious to see what people had to say on this after watching a show on a man who says that he finds his wife very unnattractive because she does not look like she did when they got married. She looked great to me! And she has had 3 kids too! He says that her legs are unnattractive now and he will point out pictures of women from the Victoria's Secret catologue and tell her what he would like her to look like!

 

[meganahan]

Please tell me....was this man the picture of perfection? Strong, lean, muscled, well kept hair?

Did HE look like the model he expected his wife to be?

blech.

I will never again have the same body that I had at 17. I'm ok with that. I'm glad that my husband finds me attractive and "hot".